I am moving backwards by not moving forward. I am moving backwards when everyone else is moving forward. I want to move too but where can I go? Where do I want to go? Everybody asks me to join them but I am still walking along the street, trying to pick my favourite store. Do I have a favourite store? Or am I just too afraid to walk in? To be left behind is one of the worst feelings in the world. Change is the scariest thing in the world.

Version 1 of a day in life!!

- 7:00 - WAKE UP!!!
Kiss and makeup,
7:00-8:00 - stretch, exercise, shower, eggs and tea.
Few moments of sitting still.. on the couch, watching her move.
8:05-8:30 - Pack lunch, skim the news.
.... or skip the news, to keep in good mood!
9:00 - 12.30 - Work and some more...
12.30-13.30 - Lunch and, if possible
kiss and makeup, chat and sh

If I were a boy, I would have stronger shoulders.

If I were a boy, I would not notice my neck.

If I were a boy, I would have kinder shoes.

If I were a boy, I would not have a cellphone.

If I were a boy, I would know how to clean up.

If I were a boy, I would be more careful with calculation.

If I were a boy, I would take a shortcut.

If I were a boy, I would know how to paint.

If only "If I were a boy," sounds less intangible.

Today I nearly made an irreversible mistake. It's a mistake of the size I-would-regret-for-the-rest-of-my-life. But I think (actually firmly believe) that my last minute prayer to Goddess of Mercy saved me. I was looking for a distraction, a quick fix, to a problem that I refuse to acknowledge. I wanted to pretend that it never existed, buried it somewhere so that I didn't have to deal with it. If I pretended hard enough, I wish it would eventually go away. Of course, it doesn't. I wonder why it

What must we seek? Beauty, Happiness, Knowledge, or Justice.

A relative increase in any of these virtues will lead to slight betterment in the world, this I do not doubt.

But beauty and happiness are subjective, and individual pursuits--to each their own.

What must we seek? Beauty, Happiness, Knowledge, or Justice.

A relative increase in any of these virtues will lead to slight betterment in the world, this I do not doubt.

But beauty and happiness are subjective, and individual pursuits--to each their own.

There is a girl in my discussion group, and she is sitting across me. Can't avoid looking at her, because she is right there. Because she is pretty.

But she moves her eyes around. She never really looks at the face of the person who is speaking. She glances up and down, right and left, looking in the general direction of the sound. But never really directly at the person.

Drown in human shit.

Source. Johnson, Steven. "The Ghost Map". pp 9. New York 2006 (Penguin)

Using my intuition
I sense the screams of
our mutual frustration

Hate me
When I tell you to go
When Donts love you anymo'
When Do-es bear colors of broken rain
Of pain

Bleed you to death, tis only fair
They suffer at our hands
When we fuck her
When we suck her
And laugh about in sick disgust