I believed it for the first couple sentences. It's not that implausible, I mean they really are getting a federally funded bridge. And if it was true we could all root for Geithner to sack Ballmer.

why would anyone want an insulting achievement like that you'd have to be a moron to post in that article

Do you know how cows digest grass? Cows (and virtually all other mammals) lack a critical enzyme to break down the main nutrient in grass, cellulose. They get around this by hosting trillions of bacteria in their guts which are able to produce cellulase. The bacteria gorge on the cellulose the cow brings into its stomach(s), and convert it to glucose and energy for their own use. The cow then betrays them moving them to a later portion of their digestive tract where these bacteria are killed and broken down to nourish the cow.

Bacteria react to injury, they remember the past, and they even predict the future. If you buy into the theory that causing pain is immoral then every cow is a walking Auschwitz. (not even to mention the problem of brushing teeth)

By the way, there is no philosophical reason why "it feels pain" is a better standard for deciding whether injuring something is cruel than any other arbitrary standard, see Hume

What makes you think that?? They've ruled that shoelaces are machine guns, ruling that pee is an explosive would be a return to common sense by their standards