Well, that might be a reason to reject certain religious strands...
"So if your kid doesn't learn do you torture him for eternity..."
No, you damn him. Put literally, you stop him. If he does not become a responsible adult, you do not give him the root password to the universe. As a child, he may consider that torture for all eternity, but hopefully he will grow up some day.
"Do you give them (or at least expose them to) hundreds of slightly different sets of rules and just hope they'll find the right one..."
If he is going to give you the root password to the universe, perhaps it would be a good idea for you to not require specific instruction on what the "right rules" are. Perhaps you should be able to look at a new situation, and figure out the morality questions in it.
Your arguments are against a particular form of religion that you don't like. In my experience, most religions have a part of the truth - only you can decide what parts are good and what parts are bad.
In my chosen religion, we are here because we chose to be. We judged for ourselves that the value gained by enduring evil exceeded the unpleasantness of the endurance period. There were many who rejected that choice and are not here. Of course, that opens a whole new can of metaphysical worms...