"Hi, my name's Bob Haxor the world's first Open Source comedian. I'm pleased to be here in LA tonight and it's great to see all you guys and ... All you guys in the audience.

So, my grandmother got a new Dell with Windows XP on it and you know it's never had a virus. That's because it blue screens before she can read her e-mail!

Thank you.

So, how many patent lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Like, loads because they would have to patent the process or something.

Women eh? Is anybody here married? ... OK, we'll skip that one. Anyway, one day I was rebuilding my kernel to add support for a sound card and I realised, all these people giving away their money to Bill Gates who's like got billions of dollars already. Are they dumb or what?

Thank you. Here's another: why didn' the RIAA cross the road? Because they don't get it!

That's all from me tonight. You've been a lovely audience.I'd just like to remind you that all my material is Open Source and can be downloaded from my website at www.geocities.com/~BobHaxor288/jokes in PDF format."

I have some new cough medicine and some cheap whisky. Let's see how it goes.

Christ, I must be bored.

What is the point? Two posts a day? Crap - I quit.

I may read, but it's not the same without the total crap you guys came out with day after day. (I like to think I've contributed some fetid dingo's kidneys as well.) Special pr0pz to on by, fucky, gazbo, flaw, NFTs, govtcheez and many others.

Goodbye.

Ah yes - you can post in your journal when you're banned.

Actually I'm at work so I can't do anything about the IP address - it was posting from here as King of Chat which got me banned - mainly due to some suspect moderation.

Slashcode updates seem to be particularly annoying - I'm sure before that if you hit the 20 seconds thing before, just going "back", "submit" would be OK. Now it seems to start the 20 seconds all over again. Bollocks.

PS No hangover today.

Well, it's hte only thing to do. Down to 38 now. Since I've never been given mod points as KoC the only choice seems to be to burn it all.

Arse must be too tight. Must install Mandrake .....

Actually, I think I'll go for a traditional remedy. Guinness.

After all, it is Friday.

During 7/4 there seem to have been fewer anonymous cowards. Doe that mean that patriotic americans have trouble with the login process? I think we should be told. Or not.

I'm quite dissappointed that nobody has reacted badly to my Shit-Spattered Banner effort. I suppose I hadn't reckoned with the fact that most Americans hate their national anthem anyway.

Monotony report looking good. Be nice to have "most replies to a -1 post". Might just post a load of crap (or repeated copies of the SSB) to get on the list today.

Whisky hangovers. Not nice.

Really ought to organise the first round of voting in the Trollies (see previous diary). Or maybe I should do some work.

Time again to vote in the Trollies.

You know you want to.

Isn't it funny, it doesn't matter how much you drink at night, in the morning you're always still thirsty.

This morning seems like a good time to do documentation.

Another IP ban over.

I think I might get drunk and acquire a hangover.

It seems to be passing fairly quickly though. Should be OK in time to go drinking at lunchtime. Can't decide whether to hit the pub tomorrow morning for the Brazil match.

I was thinking of creating a new account called "Karma Suicide Bomber" to see if I can offend people.

Is anyone keeping count of the FPs awarded to CLIT/ACs/Anyone else? Or, like me, can't you be bothered?

I see that the cricket is poised between a draw and an England win. Fine.

I made a chillum last night out of copper pipe and a radiator valve. All because I was too lazy to go to the shops and buy papers.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you bleed with rough anal sex
Oh baby
I'm hardly hung like a horse
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my faeces
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

:Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I came in your ass, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that Kathleen Fent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that Hemos, was drinking my piss
I cry, watching the gays
Can't you see I'm a faggot in so many ways
But to lose all my share price
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh


:Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your penis, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that Kathleen Fent

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah