Oh great, now we're going to be overwhelmed with Japanese tourists taking pictures of radioactive things!
Shot 1: Dad and the kids smiling at camera and glowing in dark.
Shot 2: Look! Our Toyota doesn't need headlights!
Shot 3. Mr. Fujimoto and his radioactive shoes!
Shot 4. Godzilla. No, really, Godzilla. Run!
Researchers celebrated by having their fillings restored after a painful emergency.
In other news, superhero Dr. Magnet explained to the press that the large bulge in his trunks was merely because he'd flown too close to Los Alamos. His sidekick Alnico Girl shook her head and said "Don't believe a word that horny bastard says."
It's been obvious to me that we store memories in tiny little flash drives embedded in our brain. Sometimes they go bad, and then we get getstuckget stuck and files don'tloadloadloadfilesystemcorrupt
Drugs: don't do 'em, kids.
Dear Michael;
I call it "TransOzinators". Script is ready to go. Have your girl call my girl and let's take a meeting. I see box office boffo here. I already have a treatment for the sequel ready. "Revenge of WW". Lots of explosions and product placements. Also, my girlfriend would make a perfect replacement for Meg.
Sincerely,
W. S. Shakespeare, Esq.
Next up, Bay takes on Wizard of Oz remake:
"Flying monkeys with bombs. Lots of bombs. Wicked witch with machine gun on broom! Megan as Dorothy! Toto upgraded to pit bull. Shia LeBoeuf will ace it as the Tin Man with laser-eyeballs and missile-firing butthatch! Cowardly Lion now a Mexican political-asylum refugee who knows how to fight! The Straw Man now the Token Black Gay Teenage Computer Wizard in a wheelchair. With glasses. And braces. Eats HotPockets and Pepsi and Pringles while racing against time.
Old plot bad, new plot good. Secret Oz government lab accidently released virus that mutates Munchkins into slobbering zombie vampires. Only Dorothy can save them because her blood has radical new antibodies. Witch nearly kills her, but sex with the Tin Man revives her. New totally unexpected ending not involving explosions!"
I've always wondered how the tunnel borers track position precisely when they are underground. GPS depends on adequate reception of satellite signals, which you do NOT get underground. Inertial navigation systems? But those usually need to be refreshed from calibration sources.
I've concluded it's all done by reference to gnomes.
IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.