Yeah, I hear you. But there's some charm in older houses, and some value that can be wrought from bringing a 'fixer' into a new age while repurposing some of the quirks into features (like the milk delivery door from 50s houses).
But even with a new house, you probably need some plan for maintenance and upgrades over the 30 years it'll take you to pay off the mortgage. I got suckered into reading about the current sorry state of home automation systems a few weekends ago simply because I had to decide which smoke detector to buy... There are no less than 6 big competing standards with big industry backers at the moment! All I wanted was to make sure I could (eventually) get a little notification on my phone if the smoke detector goes off, but that meant wading through that mess and trying to choose a "winnar" now.
Anyway, I went with the FirstAlert detectors, since they could eventually link up to the Lutron Smartbridge hub that talks the ClearConnect protocol. By all accounts, it's the least fully-featured hub, really just talks to lights and window shades, oh, and the smoke detectors. And yet it appears to be the most responsive and reliable.
Microsoft is behind the Insteon line of stuff, that talks through your electrical system like the old X-10 devices.
Zigbee is already dead
Z-wave appears to be what everyone else uses. But all of the products seem to be featureful but unreliable. Hopefully that will improve someday.
Apple has its own thing, but I stopped reading there.
And Google has Nest and stuff, which seems interesting, but maybe not hackable enough for me.
Plus a bunch of open source stuff, a lot of which uses the Raspberry Pi, which I find intriguing. But I don't want to spend too much time rolling my own either.