Chinese or indian are the obvious answers, but they may be a bit too much.

I would go with German, because it is a fairly large language area (90 million + speakers) most of which belong to technologically advanced nations. As an alternative consider a latin language, such as Spanish.

Will "pissed" mean "smart" in the future?

Oh....and the average public toilet is apparently a smart room.

And the last one cleans the office and makes coffee.

Just like playing Frontier Elite 2 again...only in a...[ehem]...enhanced edition.

Well played illuminati, but you won't get my plan that easily.

...because now they can't get anyone to sleep with the fishes.

And those who have neither or both will just have to join a circus instead, I guess.

The answer is yes in all three cases....

...point and laugh at the guy who lost it in the first place.

I knew you should have checked the LHC first.

Well, if the answer is 100% then I guess it would violate privacy, because then everybody knows that you are being watched by the NSA.

It has been tried http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HavenCo - alas it did not work out that well.

You had telnet? Lucky!

You can tell them og write it to them but don't expect it to work.

Best I can think of is to write a bug report to their bug report. So when your get a useless bug report, write back and explain what is wrong with the report and how it should have looked. Explain to them that your crystal ball is broken, so you don't know what the "it" in "it doesn't work" is. Asked them read the bug report before they send it and then stop and think if it even makes any sense....be nice but firm about what you require to fix the bug and let them know that it will make the process go much faster....but guess what...none of this will work.

If you want to make it stop - get another job. ;-)

For the record - no, I am not bitter (yet) but I just sent a new site into test and I am just waiting for the first useless bug report that ignores all the instructions I gave.

This poll just screams for four yorkshiremen sketch replys.

"That's nothing - we get 250 ft. of snow every day. We have to start digging our way to work two hours before we get home" and so on and so on.

"Who cares - they don't operate in my country"