1. Love one another. That's #1 and it always will be. If there is no mutual love, nothing else matters. Your definition and feelings about love (yes, it's about feelings, not just logic or chemical reactions) might be different from hers, but it's not definable anyway. You'll both know it when you have it. Keep it.

2. Stop reading the books. Books are bullshit. The relationship you create with one another is far beyond what can be defined within the squared-off parameters of some outsider's perspective or opinions. All you're doing is making the people who write those useless things a little more wealthy. In fact, you probably should not be listening to anyone on this site about this, including me, but I'm not charging you. Just remember what I say may be worth what you're paying for it. When all the books talk about "compatibility" and the like, they're ignoring the incredible relationships of polar opposites...I think of Mary Matalin and James Carville as a public example. In my own family, I see a couple who are as politically opposite as you can get, but they worship one another. Sometimes, it's not about being compatible, but loving and accepting someone, even if they're different.

3. Here's some man advice: listen. Trust me on this one...don't ever shut her off, no matter how boring the subject matter is, and especially if she wants to vent (yes, even about you). You can have your say when the time comes, but you have to learn to listen to her, showing interest in what she has to say. Always. Even if you don't agree. If you can do this, it will go a long way to your marriage lasting forever. This doesn't mean caving in or compromising. She needs to do the same thing. But men seem to have an issue with this...believe me, I do at times...but this is something that most women wish their men did better. Doing it isn't difficult. The effort you make will be appreciated in spades.

4. Remember that things work both ways. It's a marriage, not a game. You don't push the stick and expect her to move the way you want when you want. Same thing for her. If you like something, tell her. Then find out what she likes and do it. In all things, from movies to leisure to TV to sex. Everything. You cannot get the things you want from a relationship if you're not willing to share that responsibility. Neither can she.

5. If you value your relationship and you truly love her, be ready for fight for her, hard. I hope that you never have a reason to do this, but you have to be willing to give it all up for her if that moment comes. I'm not speaking just of "fighting" in the physical sense, but emotionally, romantically, spiritually, whatever. In the end, the fight may be futile, but you have to be willing to go as far as necessary if you value the relationship and want to preserve it, even save it. Some people stay together a long, long time, both knowing that love and devotion are there. But sometimes, one party doesn't realize the depths of love and devotion the other has, because words and physical gestures are not often enough to express it. The day may come when you really have to reach down for this, so be prepared for it.

Now, the cynics here might read this and laugh and call it bullshit, but I'm just trying to offer some words based on my personal experiences. Just for disclosure's sake, I'm the geek (professionally) and she's a school administrator. She's not a "geek" in the usual definitions of the term, but she's smart, beautiful, and a superb human being. I am as devoted to her now as I was when I first saw her, 36 years ago, when we were seniors in high school. Next month will be our 30th wedding anniversary. Hope that's evidence of experience.

...for a number of years (though I'm an IT guy, not a meteorologist), I learned enough to know that not only is this doomed to failure, they should already know that it's not scientifically possible.

How in the name of God are they going to generate the energy needed to cool the water at "greater" ocean depths? The would have to launch a fleet of ships far greater then they can possibly imagine.

Not only does this appear to be scientifically and logistically improbable, but have they ever considered the issues with screwing with global weather patterns? Stopping hurricanes (or, in reality, stopping their potential capability for damage to humans and land structures) is a noble dream, but every weather even had both positive and negative affects on other weather patterns, events that we actually may want to occur.

He would be better off taking all the money he'd invest in this silliness and hand it over to people in hurricane-damaged areas so they can rebuild. Or move.

You included some kind of apprehension of a "Conservative" government taking over power in the UK. As someone who is politically conservative in the US, I can't help but wonder why that would be a factor. I'm not the smartest man in the world, but it looks to me as though many of the privacy issues you have have been put in place by the current Liberal government.

But if the Conservatives really frighten you that much, I'd avoid coming you the US. The liberal government in place here now is doing a really fine job of eroding many of our rights, including many related to what a person does, in private, with their own income, health care and automotive choices. Hell, our congress just partially approved legislation that would make all living creatures in America polluters, since they believe that if you're a carbon-based life form, you're destroying the environment.

Nonetheless, things are getting bad here now, and I expect that the tide is going to turn the other way in the next few years. I'm predicting lots of liberal/Democratic/"progressives" will be tossed out in the mid-term elections, and Barak Obama will be shown the door after one term.

So, you might want to scratch the US from your short list.

Hers's how it works.

The Clear or PT customer provides a bunch of information for a TSA background check, along with verifiable identification. A birth certificate or passport are the only primary IDs they accept, along with some official photo ID.

After you sign up on line, you print out a form and go to the enrollment counter at the airport that has the service. They scan your irises and all fingertips. The data is then sent to Clear and burned to a chip on a smart card. The chip has the biometrics data and the necessary keys. The second issue of cards had a photo on them as well (the originals didn't).

When you arrive at the Clear/PT gate, you show your boarding pass and inset your card into the reader. (The PT folks a Jacksonville would usually take the card and insert it after checking the photo. The Clear folks at Reagan always asked the customer to insert the card). When prompted, you placed a finger on the reader, the system scanned it, read the chip, verified you and you were on the way. If the finger scanner couldn't get a good read, they'd scan the iris instead.

Once you're done, you proceed through the line.

I've read some comments here about the service at some airports, but my experiences have always been very positive. The Clear employees at Reagan couldn't have been more polite and helpful, and the early morning lady at the PT line in Jacksonville got to know me on a first-name basis.

As for the advantages of the service, yes, you do have to do the shoes/metal/laptop bit and step through whatever scanner they use. You have to do the same things as everyone else in the other lines. But you don't have the wait as you make the turtle crawl through those lines with the families and their obnoxious kids or the irregular travelers who haven't figured out the rules yet (despite the presence of shouting TSA agents telling them what to do).

Call me an elitist, but I travel a lot, usually when I'm pretty tired, and considering the lack of fun in getting on and off planes, the faster I wade through that shit, the happier I'll be.

I have travel routine. I do certain things *prior* to arriving at the gate (even the airport) that I know will get me to where I'm going faster. I really don't wish to put the brakes on that because of rambunctious children, strollers, and elderly people who decide to save the baggage check fees by carrying *everything* on the plane.

It's bad enough waiting after boarding (or simply trying to get down the aisle while boarding) because some idiot filled up his rollaway suitcase so it's just a little to big to fit in the overhead without forcing it in with a crowbar, while the rest of the boarding passengers line up, waiting for you to clear the aisle.

My big issue is traveling on Monday mornings. I live 45 minutes from the airport, and my departure times are usually between 6:30 and 7:30 AM, depending on the airline. Knowing that my wife and I can stay in bed an extra 30 minutes makes that service worthwhile.

There's also a lot of whining here by the so-called "privacy concerned" regarding what's going to happen to the data, or why the "government" has to use the data, or why the TSA sucks, or whatever.

First of all, as far as the TSA and their work is concerned, it is what it is. I wish it was better, or unnecessary, but there they are, and I need to get through them to get on a plane. So I deal with it. This service helps. I've personally never had an issue with them, my bags, or anything since I started using this service.

Second, the information you provide clear is no more intrusive than the information anyone can retrieve on you for the cost of a background check fee. They ask you name, address, phone number, a few other background details, they ask to see a birth certificate or passport and some kind of official photo ID. I don't recall having to provide any information to them that I would consider particularly intrusive. Hell, I had to give up a LOT more information about myself to get my current security clearance from the DOD.

Third, the information is given voluntarily by me. If someone, like you privacy whiners, doesn't want anyone having this information, don't sign up for service like this. If I'm willing to do this and pay for the privilege of skipping the cattle drive through the security lines, it's my money, right?

I signed up for Clear last year. I live in northeast Florida but work in DC, so I fly to and from Jacksonville to Reagan in DC or BWI up in Baltimore. Reagan and Dulles had Clear lines, BWI does not.

In Jacksonville, the service was there prior to Clear. Called Preferred Traveler, it's operated by a company called Vigilant Solutions. They always accepted my Clear credential. I contacted their office this morning via email and was informed that they are still operating and will continue to accept Clear's card at their gates. If you look at the list of their participating airports on their site, you'll see a long list. I don't know if these are their exclusive locations or ones that include Clear's lines, since I know Clear accepted their credentials as well.

The Clear shutdown news was a shock...I thought the email I received last night was a joke or spam, until I verified the news at their website.

Fortunately for me, I can still use my card where I need to most frequently: flying out of Jacksonville on Monday mornings. The regular security lines there can be brutally long, and using the Preferred Traveler line saves me more than 30 minutes of waiting. I can sleep later, the wife can sleep later, and I'm getting to my gate with no pressure. Worth every penny.

My hope is that some enterprising company steps in and take over Clear's operations. The service is really great.

I was the IT department head at a small Navy command from 1998 through 2006 (my position was eliminated via cutbacks...now I'm a contractor). I had small staffs of one or two guys over that time, but spent a few years slugging it out alone. I had many of the same issues you do, perhaps not with the intensity you've experienced. Navy enlisted folks, for the most part, tended to treat me respectfully, and the officer corps and senior staff nearly always knew better than to get on my bad side.

Every person who came to this command had to sit through a face-to-face IT brief with me. I gently explained what they could and couldn't do, how to report problems, etc. They signed off on the brief so I know they got it and I had a record of it.

Occasionally, I had some assholes who insisted on being...well, assholes...and breaking the rules. My policy was to sit down with them privately and explain that they did sign a document saying they understood the rules. I would also gently confront them with the problem they were causing, and I would ask them not to do it again. Then, I'd follow up. Still a problem? Disable their account, send a report up the chain. The fireworks would usually start (especially among the officers) when I shut them down...they'd run to the executive officer and piss like kittens about their access, at which point the XO would show them my message. Then he'd call me in, and we'd have it out in front behind closed doors. I always won. One or two incidents like this usually stopped them completely.

I had a set of policies that were outside the "official" IT instructions, but they were mine nonetheless:

1. We have a trouble ticket reporting system on the command web site. That's where all problems get reported. It's a simple form, fill out details, I'll contact you. How quickly depends on emergency level. This didn't apply to my boss (the XO) or the unit Commanding Officer. But they rarely had problems.
2. I don't deal with problems that you tell me when I'm walking down the hall or working on something else. I'll listen, but you need to post a trouble ticket. That's the only way I can track and prioritize issues. If you tell me and don't report it properly, don't complain when it doesn't get fixed.
3. Make sure they understand that the computers and the network don't belong to them. I used to tell my folks that all the IT stuff belonged to me, because someone in the Navy chain put me in charge of it. If they want to do stuff you don't want them doing, explain that they can do that stuff at home. Not on your network. Then cut them off if they insist.
4. Use all the security and administrative tools you have at your disposal. I hate working with Windows, but my experience with their servers and domains was that you have a slew of security tools built in that can cut out pretty much all behavior you don't like. Document all your policies (especially for you own sanity - you need a way to remember how to undo stuff!), and make sure they understand them clearly.

I've always found that violators of my rules tend to get upset when they can't get to their stuff or find their passwords being reset every six hours. Sometimes you have to get their attention.

By the way, make sure you get away from the desk for a while during the day, even if it's just to go outside for a short walk or stretch. Just getting some non-office air in your lungs and stretching the back, legs and arms will make you feel a lot better.

I don't do sysadmin stuff now. I'm a web apps developer, a contractor, I get paid very well (a high security clearance helps), and my job has little of the stress and responsibilities I had before. This is much better.

Hey, can I borrow your phone to call my mom on the opposite coast? You have free long distance, right?

Hey, I need to send my gf a few text messages...

Hey, can I borrow your thumb drive, I need to save this file...

Hey, I need to go pick up the gang for the big pool party at my apartment complex. Can I borrow your car? We're going to stop for beer on the way...

You're being a nice guy. I would not be so nice. If you can bring a laptop to school, your friends can do the same thing. Guest account or no, somehow, someday, you're going to loan that thing to some clown who's going to wind up infecting your box with something. and you're left holding the bag.

The next thing you know, you're loaning people your house and your girlfriend.

I would just polite and explain to them that you have some sensitive stuff on the system and no guest account. End of explanation. You don't owe anyone any reason why you won't just hand over your personal life.

...there is nothing "cool" about getting a 45-year-old chunk of hardware to "work" on your modern computer system. What would be "cool" would be to be able to actually browse a web site or download something larger than an SMS message. Otherwise, it's just another addition to the junk heap.

Reznor is such a tool. He needs to get off the anti-depressants, crawl out from whatever rock he resides under and visit this place called the Internet once in a while.

According to this hunk of PR, the T-Mobile G1 is ranked fifth in sales in the U.S. right now. Yes, it doesn't sell in the numbers of the (#2) iPhone or the various RIM models, but that's not bad considering the phone choices in the market. Also consider that the G1 appears to have sold itself through a lot of word-of-mouth, considering how little T-Mo has actually advertised the G1.

He also needs to learn that Android is currently being tested on a few dozen different phones from a bunch of different manufacturers, as well as on netbooks and other portable devices. The Android Market is far more open than the Apple app market. If the Android system winds up on as many devices as it's being tested or proposed for, in addition to the few million G1s sold globally already, he's going to miss out on a big market.

Frankly, I don't care. I always wondered what the big deal was about his music anyway. Especially if he needs to prop up something he recorded 15 years ago.

Seriously, if all the major Linux distro groups would just quit their bitching and work together, it could be amazing. But there is just way too much fragmentation right now. I really wish Red Hat would have absorbed Suse instead of Novell.

[soapbox on] Before I get into that, a comment on this claim of Vista security. The whole claim is totally pointless. What Microsoft is saying is "one of the versions of our system is totally secure after applying all these fixes, patches and service packs." Compared to what? To previous versions of their own system? The idea that Vista (or any version of Windows) is "more secure" than any Linux distro out of the box is laughable. All the recent to-do about Conficker dealt strictly with Windows. Linux and Mac users were unaffected by it, as well as by all of the other crap that comes down the line on a daily basis. I've run Linux on workstations and servers at home and jobs for much of the past 15 years...never a breach. Microsoft can say this over and over again, but it will always be a lie. [soapbox off]

Couple of issues with your "suggestions."

First, have you counted how many Linux distros exist today? Just counting the "installable" ones (not the ones primarily used on LiveCDs for maintenance/forensic uses, like Knoppix), you're talking a couple of hundred different ones. Many of them are, of course, more fringe than the "major" ones, but even the latter is a pretty big number: excluding the "commercial" Red Hat and SUSE, you have the four Ubuntus, Fedora, CentOS, Mint, Mandriva, Debian, OpenSUSE, Slackware, Mephis, PCLinuxOS...and that's just the rough top nine or ten. Add in the small footprint distros like DSL and Puppy, and you've just scratched the surface. Each of the more popular distros has a unique following and philosophy.

Since the freedom to customize Linux anyway you like is one of its strengths, I find it doubtful that all these "groups" would be willing or even have the desire to "work together" on a single distribution.

Second, your assessment of "fragmentation" makes no sense in the Linux community. Underneath every distribution is one common, unifying thing: the Linux kernel. While different distros build the kernel in different ways (to suit the way their distro is constructed), the kernel is fairly monolithic -- one guy has the final say on what goes in and what doesn't. And in spite of some battles over the years about what should be in or not, Linus' benevolent dictatorship over the kernel has worked pretty well. The kernel has pretty much just worked for the past 15 years, and has expanded and improved with the technological landscape. That the heart of the Linux operating system has worked so well, for so long, while being maintained by a group of volunteers led by one man is a technological feat incredible proportions, one that not too many people (including me) often take the time to appreciate.

And all the time, providing the ability for any user to change it any way they like any time they want, without recourse.

What would have been the advantage of Red Hat absorbing SUSE? Red Hat already has a nice niche cut for itself in the Linux market. Lots of big companies and governmental agencies (including the large one I contract with right now) have Red Hat boxes humming along providing needed services to their infrastructure. I develop on one daily, so I have first-hand experience with it. Had SUSE and Novel provided some feature or service that Red Hat didn't, we might very well have used their product vice Red Hat.

That's the great thing about the system: anyone who wants to use it (or not use it) has lots of choices, from stripped-down bare metal versions for headless servers all the way to full-blown desktops with spinning cubes and other candy and toys.

What you propose by wishing all the distros to come together and hold hands (and singing Kumbaya, too, I reckon) is that out of this comes...well, another single-vendor, monolithic operating system. And while the user might be free to continue to configure things they way they like with a "single" Linux version, we'd all lose the massive amount of choices we have now. To me, such a coming together is pointless. The infinite amout of choices I have with Linux is what makes it so appealing to me.

Unless you just want another version of Windows, which is what you're proposing.

And the governor, Haley Barbour, is one of them damn privacy-invadin', snooping-on-your-phone-calls, right-wing, anti-abortion, racist, homophobe Republicans to boot! Holy shit, a conservative that actually does something about privacy rights! This will undoubtedly lead to a mass meltdown of the resident community here. Hopefully, Stallman goes first.

Do you think he knows about HDTV yet? I'm afraid this might shock him into an entire new lifestyle.

...a cigar humidor, except for the cheesy brass bits on the corners. In fact, if it ever goes balls up, rip out the guts and give it to me. I've got a handful of La Gloria Cubanas and a few Camacho El-Legendarios that would fit in there very nicely.

Hey, I thought all the spying on citizens would end once the Bush Administration and their minions of fascism were chucked out of office?

Did I miss a memo from the new bunch, or what?

and of course corporations being the engines of greed they are will have not qualms about relocating the 'er' router, to the location where the least sales tax is charged.

Let's see...the "corporation" moves its "'er' router" to another location in order to shield its customers from having to pay a sales tax. The result is that the customer saves money twice...they're probably getting the item cheaper on line that in a brick-and-mortar. And they have the advantage of not having to pay that nasty state sales tax.

And this makes this business-savvy corporation an "engine of greed" how?

Oh, wait, that's right...they're an "engine of greed" because they're not simply giving the item to you for free. Right?