Actually it's the PS3 that has offline updates and downloads, and even then, only when you buy the Playstation Plus service and activate the feature as it's disabled by default. (And, it only downloads the update, you still have to update it yourself.) The Wii checks for "messages" but does not download or update anything unless you're there at the machine. The Xbox 360 does not wake up to install or download things, it does it when you log into Xbox LIVE.
Sorry for bringing facts into your rant, I know that's not what you're supposed to do on teh intarwebs. But it might be interesting information for someone who doesn't know anything about the wake up features of the current gen consoles.