Excellent! It took me straight to The Black Hole game. Thanks!

Never?! Get used to it! :)

as someone who saw Carcass and Obituary in Nov, and who is about to see Napalm Death (and Voivod, and Black Crown Initiate, and Ringworm, and ...)... WTF does your post have to do with anything?

OH!

You're saying that these intense, but short, broadcasts are examples of interstellar speed metal; a-la Napalm Death's sub-second song "You Suffer" ... ?

then say so!

don't be a hater; it's a solid "B" effort from the parent-post. You can argue it down to a "C", but that's as far as you'll get. Lulling the reader into submission (your complaint about it taking too long) is an actual STRATEGY. Are you familiar with how certain readers can gloss over typos? That's what our beheaderaswp is using as a trapping action. Now you can also argue that the barb "never going to give" isn't worth burying with the lead-up, but while humor bursts from the unexpected there is also a joy in the familiar. I'm sorry if this attempt isn't up to your standards, but it hits the standard.

You forgot the scare quotes around the word "fix".

I presume by the end of this year we'll have systemd running on bare iron, handing off to emacs, which then allows you to run instances of Linux in different buffers.

(Why yes I am a lifelong emacs user which means I am allowed to make fun of it)

last line should read '...a “clipper chip” that would supposedly allow only the government to decrypt...'

No, no, this is delicate equipment. Unplug it, wait 30 seconds, and plug it back in.

Laika had to go somewhere.

With all those Venutian women that Bud and Lou left behind, I won't be needing underwear for long anyway!

Maybe it's just chrome, but I've never seen this site as broken as it currently is. I had to reply to a comment, because the fail of css has all kinds of crap covering up the button to let me make a top level comment.

Aha! So I just need to start a new FUSE project which presents the binary logs as text. :-)

I should have added: If you are serious about your security, move your samba service inside to another box. Keep this machine as a device to move packets securely.

OpenBSD. Feel free to look at the others, just don't get distracted by shiny bells & whistles and GUIs and the like.
OpenBSD does what you want and does it very well.

I'm sticking with OpenBSD. At least with that OS, features are well thought out and not jammed into every release because "it's teh l337!"