Ah, the torture continues! Today was chest. Ben decided to work my left arm until it snapped. I'm glad he did. When it recovers, I should be good to go, finally. I feel like such a weak piece of shit! Tomorrow is back. Bring the PAIN!!!

Three more days. I'm really looking forward to going home. I don't know why, but maybe I'll see people. Just maybe. Here's hoping.

I just don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. I try to live my life under some sort of logical premise, now that I've finally got it under control, after 21 years.

People never cease to amaze, shock and disappoint me. Usually I find all of the above in one moment in time so I try not to become too cynical. Maybe this is one of those moments, swept away in regret, worry and disappointment.

In fact, I'm pretty sure it is, so I'm just going to let it pass without even writing about it, though I have this infinite well of indellible ink right now.

I will say this, I'm not melancholy regarding the obvious. I take that with me where and whenever I am. I can't derive hurt from that. I can only derive hope. I am just confused, not of myself, but of others, and why they do what they do to themselves and others.

Perhaps I'm in the wrong line of work. Maybe designing little circuits on little chips isn't what I'm here for. I love doing it though, and I'm decent at it, and can get better.

But people are lacking right now in my life, and I honestly don't know how to fix it. But please don't worry about me. I know some of you will. I'll be fine. I just need to find the path I have somehow managed to lose in the past few weeks.

I love you all.

I went to the gym today. My legs hurt in places that I didn't know I had muscles. And I LOVE IT!!! I'm going back tomorrow at two for some more pain with Ben. Yay gym.

I went to go visit the Glitterbunny over the weekend. She's such a pain in my ass :-P Then again, I think the feeling is mutual. :-P We did presents and had chinese and talked about how NY is boring as sin. Except for those cool places where it's not boring as sin. Rockin my box....

I just up and left C programming tonight. I couldn't deal. The professor gives us a two-page hand out with pseudo-code and exmaples. and reads it verbatim. slowly and meticulously(sp?). m=3, n=7, k=m+n; blah blah blah blah and or less 4,7,3, blah, moo, I masturbate with baby oil... Whatever. I couldn't take it anymore. He said "ten minute break" and I bolted. Went to Weggy's, got dinner, came home, and sat around for a bit.

Finished up my DoE Lab tonight, it's due tomorrow morning at 8:00am. That's gonna be fun.

I decided to park far away and walk my borked legs all over creation to get the lactic acid out of them. Hurt like a motherfucker, but it was worth it.

The End.

Fucking snow. I love it. I hate driving in it. I hate shovelling it. I hate slipping on my ass and messing up my back due to it. But I still love it.

Snow days. I love them. Period. End of sentence. Only had two in the five years I've been here. It had been ten years since there was one before that.

What's with these fucking PUSSY ASS schools that cancel class when there's half an inch? You're pathetic. You certainly can't function if someone throws a naturally occuring crystalline form of the most common molecule on earth at you. Shit. You might as well all go kill yourselves now. Do us a favor, and take as many of your co-workers and classmates with you as possible. Thanks!

Good luck to everyone with shitty finals and yucky projects these next few weeks. You'll all pull thru, and kick some ass.

I ran into the first girl I ever fell in love with while I was on vacation. She's engaged to be married. Weirdness. It put a lot of things into perspective. If you're wondering what sort of things, IM me, it might have to do with you.

Turkey Day was bad ass. Holy stuffing of doom. Yay for beets. Yes, beets. My sister made killer cookies at my suggestion. I'm good for something, see? :-P

Wrecked my back while sleeping on the floor, and it's still messed up, but it's a pulled side muscle now, from moving too fast and slipping on the snow while carrying the computer. Duh me.

I am having the hardest time getting back into things here. Probably because it's getting to be frozen Rochester hell, and I get depressed. I need to get a coat and a hat and a scarf, so my face and ass won't freeze. Yay Gloves.

I decided that the annual "what the fuck where you thinking" purchase is completely inappropriate, and will not take place until at least next year. Yes, so it's no longer annual. Besides, Hammer will be out and way cheap by then.

Ow, side hurts.
I'm gonna go wrap up in my new fleece blankey :-) want to join me?

CJ: A
Physics: B
Ckts II: C
Diff Eq: C

2.75 :-)

Besides that, I'm home, bored and goofy.
woot woot.

Went to see Kate rock the stage on Friday night. And she did :-) Spent the night with the boys, up till ungodly hours eating pizza and playing cards and watching Bond. Rock my box.

Boredom sucks though. I need to do watercooling. I think I'm gonna go nutballz if I don't!

W00+ w00+ ;

IO

Well, After totally pwn3d'ing my CJ paper and final, my Prof told me to go to him if i ever need a letter of recommendation. How hard does that rock? A in there, no questions asked.

I totally went Super Lawyer Level 4 last night. I was flying around glowing blue and shit. It was awesome. I have my favorite Star Seed to thank for that one *wink* =P

Have a confirmed report that I might be able to get a B in Circuits. The Prof does the FinalMagic thing. W00t W00t.

Study sessions today for fizzix. 10:00 and 3:00. I'm going to the 3:00. Duh. ER's on at 10:00 :-P

r0x0r1n9 j00r b0x0r :-D

Mwahahaha!

CJ: A
Physics: B
Ckts: C
Diff Eq: B/C

That's the rundown. I'll know more in a few days.
Whoever said engineering school is easy was smoking crack!

Rearranged the desk today so I have some workspace, and realized that I have to mod the desk. it's not big enough to hold Big Daddy. If you don't know who/what Big Daddy is, you'll see him soon enough. :-D

I have spent the last two days cooking and cleaning. It's frightning the amount of work I've done. I made tacos of death last night, which were oh-so-wondrous, and tonight I've got pasta sauce of death, which I hope will be just as porcelain-rocking as the tacos. Hee Hee.

It's been a great weekend so far.

I need ... something.

A year ago, we lost one of the finest men to ever walk this Earth. A kind, gentle, caring soul. I didn't write of it then for reasons I don't know. I've decided to rectify that now.

We miss you, we love you, and the world is very different without you. I can't go to a Dunkin Donuts, or walk thru the cymbal section of a music store, or walk by a Legal Seafoods, or stroll down the fish pier, or drive through Alston and Brighton, or sit in that big tattered leather chair, and a million other things, without thinking of you.

Here's to you, Zayde.
Love,
IJ

It's Sunday night. I'm tired as hell, and I have no idea why I'm updating this thing. That's okay. I'm bored, lonely and I need some intellectual stimulus outside of school. I just spent 3 hours working on WAGZ's computer. Good kid. He and Al love beating on eachother, it's funny as hell to watch. I am disenchanted with people making shitloads of noise in my fucking living room. GO HOME AND STOP MAKING FUCKING NOISE!!!!

Okay, so I'm cranky.

I'm going to go get my fan and pass out. Good night. I'm hoping for some good dreams tonight. :-)

Since the stock market is in the shitter, I think it's a good time to buy some tech. AMD for example. It'll go back up once Hammer comes out and annihilates Intel. It's at $3.49/share. Penny stocks. It was a 16 percent down day. Little change == big gain. Don't forget that. AMD took less of a beating than any of the other major chip monkeys. Intel lost 18 percent, Motorola lost 28 percent. Ow. IBM's loss was 5 percent, but they're diversified, not chips only. Give it some time to level out and buy some tech. You won't be sorry. Winter therefore Xmas is coming - big sales in computers, classically.

CJ was decent tonight. Talked about exclusionary rule and how it doesn't exist in Britain. We need some of that English system here so we can shut these flaming liberals the fuck up. Oh look, we stopped you for speeding, yet we opened your trunk and found ten kilos. You're going the fuck away for a very long time. But this cop might lose a week's pay. I wouldn't lose any sleep. The Brits actually did something right.

I like reading people's LJs. For the simple reason I always come to find that I have so few mental issues in my life. I'm so sane it hurts. You people make me fuckin laugh. Stop taking yourselves so seriously. Life is meant to be fun.

And now, for my momentary lapse of judgement:

It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.

I can't get it out of my head.

What?

Yeah baby, I am silly.

Rob is fighting with the other roomate. It's funny as hell. This guy keeps knocking down Rob's fan, kicking it even, destruction of property, as I see it. It's all fun and games until someone's shit gets messed up. Then it's fair game to fuck up the other guy's shit. If something's in the fucking way, walk around it. Don't kick something unless it's yours. Let's stop acting like a two-year-old and play nice. Poor Rob, and therefore poor Kyle for having to deal with this.

I went to the House of Poon tonight. Chinese restaurant, calm down. It was amazingly good food. I had a maitai and some plum wine. Being a lightweight is so much fun! My forture cookie was "Love is the only medicine for a broken heart." :'-(

Next the other roomate will start demanding that Kyle and I use headphones or turn down our music. I'm sorry. This is not an intensified study floor. Have a nice day. Even on intensified study floors you can have music on until 10:00pm. This is an apartment. Go get a restraining order.

Start getting the sump pumps and the bailing buckets, we're going down! (not in that way :-/)

YAL: (Yet Another Leak)

Fucking RIT. I hate this damned apartment. It has decided to randomly leak again. It hasn't rained in at least a week though. I finally got tired of the power restrictions and got an extension cord for the dehumidifier. Problem is, my AC apparently has the thermostat on the outside of the unit, which doesn't take into account that it's 120 degrees F in my fucking room, yet 55 outside. GRRRRRR.

In other news, my CJ professor was ... boring last night. He's been pretty good until last night. I'm shocked. I think it was because I had dinner, which included everyone's favorite source of tryptophan, dead American Bird, before class. I think next time, it's wait for dinner till after class.

Back to the grindstone for me!

I'll be the first to admit I'm a little clingy. Things that piss me off (people that need to be removed from the genepool): Co-dependents. People who "can't live" without their SO. Get a sense of identity, for God's sake. Find out your own dreams, your own aspirations; Find yourself. Don't bury yourself so deeply in an other that you derive all your self-worth from them. It's not healthy. It's pretty damn sick. Get a hobby. Get a life... of your own.