I was going home for the holidays, but I didn't get a chance to write beforehand with all the random, awesome craziness that ensued. I partially wrote my plan out, but I don't know there is much use in posting it now.

My current idea is that I need to go back over what I wrote and fill in the spots that are lacking detail or any information at all. I didn't get to write each day, but I think I did backtracking at some point.

Now I'm back...well, home. Chicago is much too harsh for me and I don't know that I really care for it. Not that I ever really did. It's hard to say that I like it less now, but I definitely see stand-out issues that make me glad to be where I am. The people and atmosphere are so much different, so much more volatile.

I had high hopes of putting a dvd or slideshow of new pictures to show family and friends to go along with my stories, but I wasn't able to do that. Let alone I forget to bring any pictures at all. Now I need to get pictures and gather whatever one's I have and post them.

I'm playing catch up so I'm not sure what to expect.

It's been a while. A very long while. First, there was the massive migration over to Multiply. Slow at first I finally picked up. I couldn't quite get into the swing of things though.

Then it was on again off again for a while. Finally, I just gave up. I've only been journaling to myself lately, and that's only when the mood strikes me. I barely squeak by the details and wish I would do a better job or just not do it at all.

My new life has been treating me well. I can go into that later if I get the chance and really feel like I need to explain here.

The main reason I'm posting though is I was thinking of KoriaDesevis. Maybe it's a subconscious thing after hearing about the east coast being pounded with snow. Or thinking how different my life would be if I would have gotten one of the jobs I applied for out there being landing my current job, which has treated me very, very well. I'm still thankful to all involved, and to slashdot for being the catalyst.

So here I am. Just thinking.

As a consequence of the book of paradoxes I picked up, I've been thinking about certain aspects of the world and science. It would seem to me because of infinity that measurements are arbitrary. Take such an example:

If there is an infinite set of numbers, then you could measure a single point forever.

To further the example and get more specific, you could measure a length onto infinity. Say you wanted to measure the distance of a room. Because a measurement can be broken down, you could keep measuring even though there was a boundary. You could take one inch and it would keep getting broke down into infinity. One inch into one centimeter, one centimeter into one millimeter, one millimeter into one element, one element into one atom, and you could measure that one atom into more miniscule proportions. What then? The atom doesn't go on forever, but with fractions of the measurement it would because each fraction would never lead to a whole.

The point being that any measurement is meaningless and only given to bring about a definition or terms for explaining something. Time is another measurement that I believe to be insignificant. Time isn't anything you can see, but it gives humans a way to measure that which is not there. I can't say that I believe time really exists, but that is not to say I don't find it helpful. It's a way for people to sync with each other.

I'm going to limit my thoughts at this point, otherwise this journal entry would go on forever. Be careful when playing with infinity.

I have plenty of questions now because I bought a book while in Berkeley. I was killing time because I went to AnimeV and there was a sign that indicated they would re-open at 1 PM. In the time that I was waiting I found a Barnes & Noble bookstore. I went in just to look around. Actually, I was hoping it was one of the stores that had DVD's so I could look for anime there.

Since it is a bookstore I did decide to look at the books first. As I was going through the isles I came across the Philosophy section. I don't know that I've ever really taken an in-depth look into philosophy. One particular book caught my attention. It is called "paradoxes from a to z" by Michael Clark.

I grabbed it from the shelf and was thrilled by the material. It enticed my mind, though I hadn't intended on making any book purchases. I am sure that I have quite a few books in my possession that I have yet to read and figured it would be excessive to buy a new book. I put the book back and continued going through the shelves. I came to the computer section and found an interesting book on algorithms. The book seemed to be focused on algorithm's for solving mazes.

Once again I found my thoughts telling me to put the book back, especially since computer books are even more expensive than normal books. I reached the end of that half of the store and went to the middle and looked at the other half and found they did not have DVD's. I walked through the other half of the store. Once I reached the end of that side I found myself drawn towards the Philosophy section again.

I picked up that same book again and read some more, finally I decided that since it sparked such an interest I would purchase the book. If anything it has at least got me thinking again and could lead me to start thinking up new things to write.

Most of these paradoxes deal with some question that regards infinity. One particularly interesting paradox was about a mule placed equally distant between two piles of hay and buckets of water. It goes on that because of animal determinism and having two equals with no distinction that the mule cannot choose and therefore starves.

I thought logically about this and while I find myself acting in a similar fashion, there could certainly be some detail that would make a difference. Such a choice could be made on where the sun is located. Maybe one pile would be in the sun first and would be warmer so the animal could choose to eat that first, saving the other pile for later when the sun would warm that one. Perhaps the animal was placed in a white room with no windows and fluorescent lights, which would truly make this situation more difficult and get back to the intent of the original paradox.

Getting back to my day, I left the bookstore and headed back to AnimeV to find that they were still closed. I walked around the corner and saw a McDonald's and decided that all this thinking about hay and water had made me realize I was hungry. I went and ate while reading my new book. I walked back to the anime store to find it still closed. I stood there reading my book as I waited. Finally after about 40 minutes I decided that the store wasn't opening in any matter of time that I would find suitable and left.

On my way back to the train station I waited on the corner to cross the street and some guy waved at me. I thought maybe there was someone behind me and paid no attention. He waved again and I felt a little more uneasy as I didn't sense anyone behind me. I crossed the street and he approached me. He asked me, "Do you have a minute to fight global warming?" I quickly questioned how important this next minute was to me and decided I'd let him talk to me without immediately walking away.

I'm not going to say anything more on that matter as it's not of much importance. What is important is that I will probably never go out of my way to go to AnimeV again. It would have been fine that they were closed on this occasion had there been a note. They could have been closed and I would excuse it as maybe something was unavoidable, but couldn't they have put a note up? This will certainly not be good for their business as even if I hadn't found what I wanted I still would have made attempts to go back and surely would have ended up making purchases there. Now I will be making sure someone else gets my anime business. While I may not like waiting for online orders, I can be assured that I will at least be able to pick and order what I want from someplace like Amazon.

With my time now I will spend it pondering whether I am a paradox.

I can't think of anything to write. I don't seem to be getting around to writing about my daily life, and I can't seem to come up with any creative stories to write about. I can't tell if it's writer's block, or that I'm not trying hard enough. I think I need to force myself to sit down and write about something.

I think part of what's holding me back is fear. I tend to start thinking about what I'd like to be writing and then can't follow through because I'm scared it won't come out right. I also get scared of working more on some stories in fear that I'll screw a part up. Though since it's just computer work it's not like it would be all that hard to remove an entire section, or make changes so that it worked better.

In my strange ways, that's another thing to worry about. I get to thinking that I might work on something too much and then ruin it that way. I can't believe it, but I made myself laugh at how silly that thought was. It's ridiculous that I over think things so much. I had overcome that for a period, but I seem to be getting stuck in that bad habit again.

To combat it successfully as I have done before I need to get into the mode where I act and not think. It's a matter of doing things rather than trying to lay out the path before I get there. That's precisely how to get nowhere.

In retrospect, I'm happy that these silly things are the most of my worries. It's nice to have such frivolous things be at the forefront of my thought rather than such serious things that are truly detrimental.

On Thursday I had an adventure worth telling about. For some reason I'm only now choosing to write about it.

Sometime last week it came to my attention that a favorite author of mine, Cory Doctorow, was going to be in town for a book signing. For those of you who are not familiar with him, he has written many award winning sci-fi short stories, some books like "Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom", and has been involved in making a difference in a number of areas. If you would like to find out more about him you can check out his website.

I had considered going, but was reluctant to go out because it was on a weeknight and I was just making excuses because I was scared. The thing about me is that I'm afraid to go out most of the time. I don't know why, there's nothing to be afraid of. I think it's more so that I'm afraid of wasting time and energy on things I'm not sure will keep my attention for more than a few minutes.

That morning my sister emailed me about the event. Her bringing it up made me start rethinking the whole thing. It even inspired me because it made me realize I should have more exciting stories to tell. At the end of the work day I had decided to make an attempt at going.

I went straight home to get my bag and camera. I was able to catch a bus to the train station only a few minutes after I got home. I got onto the train going to the city. The train ride was touch and go. There seemed to be infrequent stops. Finally there was an announcement that there was something wrong with the train and everyone had to get off at the next stop because they were taking the train out of service.

While getting off I noticed a coworker. We met and stood on the platform as we waited for the next train to come get us. We talked to pass the time, and as we were standing there I noticed what looked like a homeless person. I didn't pay much attention to what she was doing, but thought it was odd that she was on the platform as most of the homeless people stay outside of the train stations.

When the train came my coworker and I got on and found a pair of seats. We continued are conversation, then all of the sudden I see that crazy lady on the train. She was moving about with this cart and then ended up sitting next to us with her cart blocking the exit and the pathway. She couldn't sit still and was spouting off obscenities. It sounded like she was talking about being repressed and something about 6,000 years. Both my coworker and myself tried to not let her interrupt us. Then at one of the stops this police officer comes from the rear and asks this lady what she was doing. It appeared as though he had dealt with her before and knew her name. He stepped in trying to get passed her cart and ended up having to push it out of the way.

Then when he got in there was another officer behind him. She said she was going to one of the stops, and the officers seemed content that she was on the right train going there. They got off at the next stop and the lady with her cart stayed on. My coworker got off soon and asked if I was going to be alright. It was nice of him to ask, but I wasn't worried about her. He suggested that I might consider getting off sooner than I had planned if necessary.

The lady ended up not getting off at the stop she said she was going to. I'm not sure if she was just too wrapped up in her own thoughts to realize, or had just told the cops something so they'd leave her alone. Either way, my stop came up and I was off and on my way.

The night was rainy, but I was prepared with an umbrella. I had thought it might be a good thing that it was rainy in that it might mean there would be fewer people at the book signing making it more personable. I walked a few blocks and was excited that I was out and doing this. I think it helped that it was more spur of the moment. I seem to do better when I don't have a plan, or that I'm not locked into doing something.

I finally find the bookstore and walk in, and right there standing to the side of the door is Cory Doctorow just standing there. He was giving his attention to this little girl. Obviously the child of someone else he knew there as I had heard him mention about the last time he saw her. I go to the counter to grab his new book, and another one that I had already read online, but wanted to purchase a hard copy to show my support.

Once I made the purchase I went to go take a seat. I ended up sitting in the back. Cory went up to the stool and took a seat behind the podium. He greeted us, then read a short story. He picked one that only took a few minutes to read and explained rather than sit there and read to us for the whole time he would rather open it up to talk to us so we could ask questions.

It seemed to me that there were quite a few people there that he was familiar with. That didn't put me off, but I also didn't have much I could add because I don't follow the same topics as closely as some of them do. I didn't feel lost though and could follow the questions and answers well enough. I did get in the last question of the night. I wasn't particularly proud of my question as I would have liked it to come out of my mouth better than it did. I asked a quick, simple question about how he normally feels about creating his stories. The question came out as, "Do you know where your stories are taking you beforehand?" That's not as elegant as I would have liked it to be.

Once he finished with that we lined up for him to sign our books. He was very friendly and took the time to talk to everyone while he signed their books. I don't feel he rushed anyone along. I can't say that anyone got to have a great long conversation with him, but there was enough time to at least talk to him like a normal person. I didn't have much to say other than thanking him for inspiring me and touching on the things he does. He signed both of my books and I got to take a picture with him.

I didn't stick around afterwards because I felt I got my time in and didn't think that there would be any other moments. It was an excellent night and I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet him, something I never thought I'd do or get a chance for.

Finally, I return home and I'm really tired now. So it was work, then I had forgotten about the lunch there was for this 401(K) meeting. I went to that and had free pizza. After that as I was getting ready to go when my coworker very generously offered to give me a ride to my doctor's appointment, as he had some errands to run.

Before we left I forgot to check the address of the doctors office, which made it quite amusing as I walked up and down the street looking for the office. This was of course after I convinced my coworker that I could "just find the place." And I did find the place eventually.

I got there still early and checked in at the desk. I had expected to fill out forms, and forms are what I filled out. After the forms I had a nurse take me into the back and measure my weight. So I guess moving means you usually move a little extra weight when you get wherever you're going, cause I put on about ten pounds. Not too proud of that. I am getting back into a more normal and regular eating habit, which should hopefully bring me back down.

The nurse then brought me into the room and I had a seat on the table with the paper cover on it. She asked me some questions, then asked if it would be okay if the doctor's intern came in. I told her it was fine.

This young man came in and started asking questions and talking to me. Apparently he came from around the area I moved from. He seemed eager and willing to ask questions and listen. It was fascinating for the both of us. We talked about my butt problem. After he had filled up an entire page of a notepad he was off and said it sounded like the other doctor was about ready.

I sat there and waited looking around the small room. Space really is at a premium out here. It's kind of sad, but I can deal. My previous doctor had a nice office with plenty of spacious rooms. I remember at some of the worst and anxious moments spent in that office listening to songs that were awkwardly inappropriate for the mood. I remember when I went to go talk to him about my depression Cher's song, "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves" was playing. That was the most memorable. I know there are at least two other moments, but I can't seem to recall them at this moment.

This small room, was yellow and seemed old and not as inviting. Like I was saying, I was sitting there looking around the room and couldn't help but fixate on the wipes, latex gloves, and other lubricants and such tools to probe and violate my innocent body. I have to admit I was half expecting this doctor to barge in, tell me to pull my pants down, tell me to bend over the table, and do things with his finger.

First, I had this thing with my ear. The intern had taken a look but didn't see anything abnormal. When the doctor did come in he checked it out and was like, "Oh there's a hair in your ear." I had to ask, "is this a loose hair or one that's growing from the inside?" He said it was loose and that they could rinse out my ear if I wanted. Then we talked about my Attention Deficit Disorder medicine. He was reluctant and didn't want to prescribe my medicine to me. I couldn't argue as it's a stimulant and that sort of medicine does have certain rules and regulations.

Moving on we talked about my sleep. He said normally he would just order a sleep study, but since I'm not overweight he said he would recommend an ear, nose, and throat doctor. He checked my blood pressure again and it had gone down some more. Finally, he said he would give me a month's prescription for my medicine. I'm also supposed to go to the lab and get my cholesterol checked and then make another appointment to finish getting checked up and possibly a physical.

He said he'd get the referral for that ear, nose, and throat doctor. I asked if we were finished, and he said I could be on my way. He didn't talk to me about my butt, and we forgot about rinsing my ear out. I didn't realize of course until well after I was out of the office and wandering around somewhere.

Since I was in the general vicinity I decided I would get a haircut. I needed one anyway, so really that worked out. From there I went to the train station to go to where I know there was a Walgreens. I went and gave them my prescription and they said it would be about an hour and a half. I went and walked around. I sat down outside where there was a circular cement ledge in the middle of some benches. I sat on the cement ledge and made two phone calls. I didn't get anyone so I took out a book. As I sat there and read there was this man that was leaning against the cement by the benches. I'm not sure but I think he had a few visitors with him, because he was speaking around him randomly saying vulgar things. And by visitors I mean to say that I didn't see anyone else around him.

That was amusing, but I was thinking how it would be a shame if some child and their mother was walking by and heard some of the things he was saying. Luckily, that didn't happen. As I read my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was my friend calling me back. We talked for a while and by the time I noticed my prescription was about to be ready. I went back to the store and waited in line for a while. I guess it is such a busy place because of all the students around.

Right as I was getting on the train I got another call. It was from the area, but I didn't know who it was. I wasn't sure whether I should answer it or not, but by the time I would have made a decision I was already saying hello. It was the intern from the doctor's office. He was calling to tell me something about my butt condition. I couldn't quite make out the entire conversation, but what I got from it was that he had spoke to a proctologist and said something was benign and that waiting it out as I did was apparently the thing to do. He assured me that everything should be fine.

That brings me back close enough to the present. This seems like only the start to getting everything in check, but at least I'm on my way and making progress. It seems as though I'll have some more appointments, but hopefully things shouldn't be that bad. I do worry about the next time I'll have to get my medicine. I may have to get checked out again, if that's the case I hope things go smoothly and I don't get too much trouble from anyone.

I feel I should document this even though it's not pleasant. I woke up three times that I know of last night. I woke up at 2 AM, 3 AM, then again at 4 AM. I may have woke up again at 5 AM, but I'm not so sure about that one. When I woke up at 4 AM it was because of my night health problem that has occurred before.

Because that's a little vague I'm going to specify. It's the problem I've had where I have that pain in my butt. Being woke up from that pain is confusing so I didn't know what it meant. With that in mind I went to the bathroom. I tried going, but it didn't really seem like that was the reason. That seems to be usual for that. As I was in the bathroom, again as it usually happens I broke out in this cold sweat and started to feel so nauseous that I felt like throwing up. It's such a violent feeling that I got dizzy and almost passed out.

At that point I was so scared that I fell to my knees and put my head under the faucet in the bath tub. I ran water over my head then sat back down on the toilet with a towel around my shoulders and over my head. After a few minutes I started to wake up enough and started to feel fine. I went back to bed after this with an uncomfortable and scared feeling.

I can at least say that I'm going to the doctor now and will most certainly bring this to his attention to get a professional opinion. While this is unusual I'm hoping that he'll help me find an explanation.

It's time now to finish getting ready and head off to work.

Hmm, I didn't update for the last two days I think, so I should do a little recap. The night before last I think I went to bed around 10:30 PM and ended up waking up at 4:00 AM. That made the day extremely tough. I thought because I was exhausted I would get a good nights sleep last night, but that was not the case. When I got home I fell asleep because I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. I woke up and found out that it was only twenty minutes later.

Later I tried to go to sleep, but just couldn't. I don't know why when I was that worn out. I did finally get to sleep and woke up today and I wasn't as tired as I was yesterday. At least I was somewhat rested.

I went for a walk after work, then I came home and did laundry. I saw my friend playing his xbox online, then found out he was playing Gears of War with another friend. I'm a little upset by that. He hasn't been on in a while, and the last time we talked he was saying how we could co-op on Gears of War before his Rainbow Six: Vegas came. I was planning on him getting that sometime soon so we could co-op on that as well. I played some more of the story mode on Rainbow Six, then just now I put in Final Fantasy IX. I cannot remember where I left off. All I know is that Zidane was alone in one of the cities. The last thing I can remember was the girl becoming queen. Luckily, I have a save point from 3 hours earlier that I plan on reverting to in order to find out what was going on and what I'm supposed to do next. Then I can jump back to my last save and continue.

I'm tired now, but I'll probably be up for a little while longer. I don't know if I started playing Final Fantasy IX that I would enjoy it that much, so I may watch a movie instead. Oh, and yesterday morning when I left for work I saw a girl that lives on the same floor as me that I had run into again. I may have even written about her. She's pretty good looking and we struck up a conversation while we waited for the elevator again. It was very small chit chat, but we were talking all the same. Then she told me to have a good day, I thanked her. I'll most likely run into her again. If we talk again, then I'll try introducing myself.

I've also gotten rid of all the empty boxes in my apartment. I still have some organizing to do, but it's very much my place. I'm happy here. Everyone at work seems to think I really need to get a bed. I'm not opposed to getting a bed, but they think that it's going to solve my sleep problems. I know that it won't. It may help, but I'm not even so sure about that. I do have a doctor's appointment the week after next. I'll be asking this doctor if he has any recommendations about seeing an ear, nose, throat doctor or going to a sleep clinic.

I'm going to go take my shoes off and relax a bit. I may even take a shower, then get ready for bed with that movie I was talking about. I'm not sure which movie, but I'm sure I'll find something to watch. One last thing, with all that free time I had when I woke up early the other day I used some of it to order a humidifier online. I'm in need of one, and I do believe that will help me sleep a bit easier. I've been waking up because my throat has been becoming dry while I'm sleeping. When I wake up in the morning my nose is also stuffed and dried out. I still can't figure out if my body hasn't adjusted to the climate, or if it's just extremely dry in my apartment. I think it's a bit of both. Anyway, it's time to go.

Well good morning! Thanks to the fire alarm going off I'm confused and partially awake. Thankfully it's a false alarm, but I tell you I was magnificent. Around the time of the earthquakes I decided in case of any sort of disaster that I should have a few key things ready to grab or already in a bag so that I could just go.

Of course this was put to the test just now and I'm not sure how well it worked. I should check the bag to see what is there and what is missing. I knew while I was walking out that I forgot my wallet. No, I did not take any chances and think about going back to get it. Of course my brain said, "hey wait, you've still got stuff back there." As I said though, my feet just kept going.

I think my heart rate is returning to normal, so I'm off to try and get me some sleep.

P.S. At least I was wearing pants.

How appropriate. I watched Friday the 13th on Friday the 12th. Despite it's age, it's still a good movie. I don't know that I ever sat down and watched the whole thing at once.

It's odd how the length of time and the lack of dialogue don't make it seem like the movie's dragging along. I was surprised once I noticed that.

It could also be because I'm a little out of it. I haven't really been feeling well for a day or two. I felt fine today up until lunch. Lately I've felt almost bloated. I'm not sure if that's what it is or if I even know what that feels like. Either way it shouldn't matter much. I suspect I'll be fine after resting this weekend.

I also have a doctors appointment near the end of the month. Not because of any of this, but because I'm trying to find a new doctor out here. Also, I'd like to know what I'm working with. Plus, I have some questions for him. I hope that I'm on track for a clean bill of health, and that any other problems that I may or may not know of will be taken care of.

I think it's become abundantly clear that I need my concentration medicine as I'm sure I've been driving the people at work nuts. I do feel bad about it and hope that my boss doesn't hold it against me, but I'm trying my best. I hope to show a dramatic improvement so that I can show them I can be normal and not so weird and random all the time.

Luckily, I've been told that it's amusing by some. Though I suspect there are others that don't feel the same. At least for my benefit it helps with multi-tasking, but even that has only small benefits that can't be sustained for very long.

Happy New Year everyone!

Apparently when I'm happy I'm terribly boring on the inside. Now this is not to say that I lack being amusing on the outside. As I'm sure my new co-workers can attest to I can be quite entertaining. But I feel as though I am lacking any creative feelings.

I don't really find myself reflecting or thinking about my new life. I am truly content though. It's amazing the way that I feel. Really that leaves nothing to think about. Why would I need to sit and think about my life when everything is going great and I don't feel a need to change a thing?

While I haven't had any creative feelings, I've felt creative and have been writing when I'm not inbetween activities. Overall, it seems that no news is good news for me.

I came up with this great dialog, and had this story in my head. I had the hardest time getting started on it though. As the title suggests, if people were allowed to crawl out of their skin that's what I would have done tonight. Letting my organs fall and dangle behind me as I twirled around.

I've been having a hard time focusing, which is frustrating when you actually are trying to do something. So I started little by little, and before I knew it I had gotten the ball rolling. I am semi-pleased with this. The story could use some improvement I'm sure, but since I was able to get this far I'm going to leave it at that for tonight.

Without further rambling, I give you tonight's story:

Background: Mark is shorter than Sarah, but only by a little. She sometimes calls him small fry. Over the weekend they went out to find Sarah a new handbag. They went down to the stores and walked around. At the end of the day they came out empty handed. They weren't hungry so they decided to go back to Mark's apartment.

Inside Mark's apartment there was tan carpeting and the walls were painted off-white. Upon opening the door there was a table to the right with two chairs. Mostly Mark only needed to have one chair, but sometimes Sarah would come over.

Mark and Sarah entered the building and waited for the elevator. Mark always said he felt like he was always waiting for elevators. Sarah on the otherhand was ansy and hated waiting for the elevator. Mark always felt like he should be entertaining her while they waited, but he could never come up with anything good enough. The first couple times he tried it only ended up annoying her more.

Finally, after what seemed like ages while they stood there in silence the elevator came down. It was empty and Sarah commented, "If it's empty what did we do all that waiting for?" Mark was more logical about it, but didn't dare comment and try to explain to her that it probably let off people on other floors before coming down.

They went up, and luckily they didn't have to stop for anyone else to get on. Mark was relieved. Sarah was bothered that Mark was so quiet and asked why he didn't have anything to talk about with her. He didn't have a response for this.

Walking down the hall they came to his apartment door and he unlocked it and let her in. He chuckled thinking it was the exact opposite of what should be going on. He figured he should be letting her out, not in. She asked what he was laughing about, but he ceased and knew it was better to not say anything and just take the brunt of her anger when she would say that he was keeping things from her, when all he wanted was to not offend her.

Sarah took a seat at the table and Mark went to the fridge and asked if she wanted anything. "No honey, thanks," she replied. He closed the refrigerator door and joined her at the table. He took a sip from the water bottle he grabbed and gently set it on the table. He asked, "So what now?" Sarah shrugged her shoulders.

They both sat there and tried to think of something. Mark's face lit up. "I've got it, we should make a castle from popsicle sticks." Sarah didn't even look angry, it was more of a confused look. She said almost shocked, "What? Are you sure?" Mark tried to reassure her, "Yeah, trust me. It'll be fun."

For some reason Mark had a bag of popsicle sticks that he had once bought at a craft store. He got them and some glue and he sat down on the floor. He reached over and took a cardboard box he had nearby and tore off one of the sides and laid it on the floor for the base. Sarah came down to the floor and sat across from him. She could tell he was excited, but she thought it was kind of dumb. Sarah went along with it though.

Mark dumped the contents of the bag out onto the floor and Sarah scooped up a handful and started laying a foundation. Then Mark started to glue it all together. Mark looked at Sarah. "It shall be a fair castle my lady."
"Thank you, good sir knight."
Mark smiled at her, and Sarah's eyes warmed up.

"Now we shall build the towers."
Sarah watched how Mark did it, then she put one together. Once they finished the four corner towers they started to build the connecting walls. Mark had glue all over his fingers. He jokingly told Sarah to give him her hand. He reached out for it, and she giggled and pulled away.

"You look like you just came off the short bus from school." Mark took a cue from that and started making funny faces. Sarah laughed some more. Mark started to feel a bit more comfortable now that Sarah was lightening up.

They continued on, and finally they were finished. They sat there and looked on upon the masterpiece they created. Sarah asked, "What should we do with it."
Mark sat and contemplated. "What do you want to do with it."
"I don't know."
They both sat there and looked at it for a while. Sarah had her legs crossed and was leaning back on her hands:

"Do you know what I wish?"

Mark looked up at her.
"What, that you could live there?"

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of us fucking in there."

"Well we can do that. We can mind-fuck."

"And how do you mind-fuck?"

"I don't know. I guess if we both just pretend and think about each other then it's as though we were fucking each other in our minds in the castle."

"Let's try that."

"Let's not."

"Why?"

"Because it's creepy. It's one thing to talk about it, because that's funny. But trying it just sounds wrong."

"Fine, then I'll just mind-fuck you in there myself."

Mark crawled to the side and then jumped on her putting her on her back. He looked down into her eyes and smiled. He had her hands above her head and she wriggled trying to get out from under him. They rolled around on the floor, then finally after they were both red in the face and out of breath they got up. Mark put his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them and said, "We really should do something with it. We could always destroy it, I'll let you do the honors and step on it."
"I think it would give you more pleasure, small fry."
Mark shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, if that's how you want it."

Mark stood up and started making low growls and stomping his feet on the floor towards the castle. Sarah started acting like she was a princess stuck in the castle. "Oh no, where is my good sir knight to save me from this evil giant monster."

Mark roared, and Sarah kept going, "Surely I'll be crushed. Whatever is a princess to do?"

Then Mark started stomping on the castle, and before he was finished he jumped back onto Sarah. He decided to switch roles and said, "I'll save you my lady."

Sarah let out a hard breath, "More like you'll crush me just like that monster would have."
Mark got off of her and said, "Sorry."

They laid there on the floor next to each other staring up at the ceiling. Mark sat up, "So what now?"
"You tell me my knight."

This entry was written Wednesday, December 27, 2006. As I said I wanted to catch up from when I was offline.

Here it goes:

Oh boy, there is so much to write about to recap my day. For the record, I just got back. From where, you are no doubt asking? Well I'll tell you. I finally went to San Francisco. I used my floating holiday today for work because I needed to go back to the DMV to try again to get my license. I went to Walnut Creek this time, and low and behold it was smaller and I felt like I was treated better. I had to take the written test, which I studied for, but apparently only barely passed. I missed three questions and I believe for people getting their California license for the first time that is the maximum number of questions that can be missed.

They said I would get my license in the mail in a few weeks. I think that's a little weird. I know Indiana has the machines that print the card right there. But this isn't Indiana, and at least I'm getting it. When I left the DMV to go back to the Bart station I stood there and read a little more of "Stardust." I've been reading it again and once I got going am having trouble putting it down. Then when I'm sitting there on the train waiting to go back I was kind of listening to an older couple behind me. The lady called someone and said they were taking the day off to go spend in the city. As I'm sitting there looking at the scenery I'm thinking, "why shouldn't I do the same?"

I figure I'm already on the train, and I haven't been to San Francisco yet. I figured if at the very least I would have the train ride there and if I felt like it I could always go back. It's not like I was being forced to stay in the city. So I get off at the first stop, Embarcadero. Apparently that's the financial district. I just start walking and figure I'll eventually end up somewhere. Low and behold I ended up walking towards the piers. I remembered I had looked up about taking some trolley or something along there to go down to some tourist attractions, but since it was such a nice day I figured I'd just walk it. The only shame is that I didn't have my camera. I thought about that before going, but then the spontaneity would have been lost.

I walked down to the end of one of the piers and looked out over the bay. Then I kept walking north. Finally I saw the "Aquarium of the Bay." That was one of the first things I remember planning out. I went and purchased a ticket and walked around. It was nice. Then I continued walking. Pier 39 has all these shops and restaurants. I walked down and looked over everything. I was hungry and contemplated stopping at the Bubba Gump's restaurant thinking back to when I went to Florida. Only back then I was eating vegan so I only got a vegetarian dish. I think my friend had the Mahi Mahi, which I believe I also had when I was in Texas. If I'm correct, then that was good fish. But I remembered seeing a Taco Bell not too far from the train station, and I was kind of wanting that. I also knew it would be a lot cheaper. It's not that I had to spare the expense, I just figured it would be wise to try and save money.

When I reached the end of the pier off to the side are the sea lions that sit around. I watched them for a minute or two and continued on. I walked back a street and walked west up a hilly road. At one of the intersections I looked to my right and it went down and rose back up. It was quite a site. Finally I started going downhill myself. Then I cut back to go south figuring I would just make a long way around to the train station. I passed a lot of neat looking apartments. I think I must have passed through the italian part of the city, because there were lots of italian restaurants. Then I think I must have passed the tip of china town, or maybe just a subsection broken off. Then I passed some strip clubs. Then if I remember correctly I reached the financial district once again. I passed a Church of Scientology and laughed wishing I had my camera like I did in Austin to take a picture. When I got to the corner I was accosted by some scientologists trying to get me to watch this movie and brainwash me. I blew this lady off and told her I didn't think much of them when she asked me. Then I walked on and there were two girls walking down the street and one of them put her hand out to give me something. I grabbed it, you never know, it could have been her phone number. But no, it wasn't. It was another scientologist. They must have been swarming me. I stopped off to look at a cinema located in the Embarcadero mall. I'm not sure that it was exactly a mall, but there were lots of shops and it seemed like it was outdoors, yet somewhat enclosed. I made my way out to Sacramento street and tried to find the Taco Bell. I did, but it was a Taco Bell Express. It didn't matter though. They just didn't have all of the items like the cheesy fiesta potato's or nacho cheese gordita's.

I got my food and ate it on the way back to the train station. That's about the end of my adventure.

I'm tired now and could use a nap, but that's probably not such a great idea. I don't want to throw my sleep schedule off anymore than it is already. I'll probably read a little bit. Maybe I'll even work some more on my story a little later. My feet hurt from all the walking I did today. Not to mention that yesterday when I went out I wore my busted up shoes and they hurt my heels. I'll be getting blisters for sure. That shouldn't be so bad, so long as they don't get too bad and turn to calluses soon.

Over the past few days I've been wondering, how many diaries, journals, or blogs do you think you appear in? I think it's amusing, but the actual answer is probably few to none. Though I can be quite a character at times. Like today I thought it when I was at the Aquarium by the Bay and bought my ticket from the cute girl behind the glass, and again when I got into the elevator after leaving the tunnels and the girl who worked there asked how I liked it and I sort of trailed off when I said, "It was nice." I sort of paused before saying nice, and the word then got caught in my throat as it came out.

Then there are the times when I'm in the train I get nervous thinking that some cute girl will think I'm looking at her too much, and would then write something either about the cute or weird boy on the train. I also think of that question and wonder if other people are thinking the same thing. There must be others that are out there writing about their days and recounting the events and people of the day.

I have nothing more to add to my day, other than I took a light nap, woke and made some macaroni and cheese. Then I sat at the table, read, and had some wine. I read quite a bit more of "Stardust" and will be finished with it soon. What then is yet to happen.

With a vengenance baby!

The reason I haven't been journaling this time is because I got disconneted. I was offline for a week and a day, because I couldn't get a technician out here any sooner. I should also point out that I was wrongly disconneted, not because I didn't pay my bills or anything. It's hard being on the wagon, makes for a bumpy ride. Now I feel whole again.

It's tough to be offline anymore. There are so many uses. I was coding and wanted to look information up, fired up the browser, then remembered. Watched a movie, didn't know who they were talking about, fired up the browser, then remembered. There were many other doh moments.

I also use the interent to find out when I need to catch the bus, to find out what happened when the ground shakes, and many other useful tidbits. So while I was offline there were two more earthquakes. I'll have to go through and see if I wrote anything worth posting. I think I did, so I'll try to get on that in a bit. I have some pictures I need to upload for friends.