can't order a baguette with my groceries unless it was made within a 1 mile radius of some random French town.
You are probably talking about AOP (Appellation d'origine protégée), which is different.
AOP only protects the name of the product, not the product itself. For example it totally possible to make Roquefort-like cheese outside the area of Roquefort (town) but you won't be allowed to call it Roquefort. Think of it as a trademark.
Baguette, by the way, is not protected.
The problem is, in fact, the opposite. France, for example, has a lot of raw milk cheeses that may be incompatible with European food safety regulations.
As for Germany, I don't find them especially prude, except when the Nazis are involved (for obvious reasons). They do however have strict privacy laws (no street view in Germany) and they have one of the worst collecting society in the world : GEMA.