Everyone says communication is key, but what I'm not hearing is communication about expectations. You really need to know what your SO's and your own expectations are and make any compromises in advance that you can. Know that your expectations & compromises WILL change.
1. Who is expected to do chores? Which chores? Cooking, cleaning, mowing, shopping, oil changes, etc. Is one of you expecting to be able to give "HoneyDo" lists to the other? Who cleans the bathroom & to whose standards?
2. Finances. Who budgets? who pays bills? What money is common and what money is not? Does one, or both of you get an allowance of personal money? Who decides how to spend discretionary money? Do you budget vacations in advance? if ONE of you controls the budget, be careful not to allow this to become a dominance thing.
3. Asthestics. Who picks cars, couches, pictures, carpet, etc? Whose decor is it and why?
4. Physical. Do you expect your partner to stay the same shape/fitness? What happens if time/work/children make this not allowable?
5. Children. Yes, No, NEVER, Maybe. When? Who decides? Oopsy, I know we decided "Yes in 2 years but ..". Upbringing. Good cop/bad cop? So very unfair to the "bad cop".
6. Private time? Friend Time? Date time? Private/personal space?
Expectations and the managing thereof are some of the most crucial ingredients in making a marriage viable. And I guarantee you both have some expectations that you don't even realize you have so you to start discussing the ones you know about, especially the ones you think are a "given".
