Blame Canada!

"I’m a happy Steam customer happily using my happy mouse and keyboard. I don’t want a controller?" "You can’t make a sentence into a question by just putting a question-mark at the end. But we’re happy you’re happy [...]" Oh Valve. I love companies who can still afford to have a sense of humour about things.

In my completely unbiased and valid opinion as a programming enthusiast and wizard-level virgin, I say we should start exposing children to programming as soon as possible. Whisper opcodes into their wombs, put C cheat sheets in their beds, give them blocks printed with operators and basic functions to play with, and when they reach five they have to start reading SICP.

I'm sure we all know by now, from this single but very reputable and totally 100% serious source, that Stroustrup designed C++ to be practically impossible to master so that projects would be bigger and C++ programmers would be worth more ;)

Maybe when you enter a 3D black hole you become a very oddly shaped Flatlander.

How else are we going to get the next Grand Theft Auto?

It's like all men and all women on earth are engaged in a virtual, metaphorical couple relationship. You observe the same things happening between men and women globally as you might observe in your average couple. I was going to cite examples, but I don't want to upset any feminists...

"Ice caps are melting, it's a catastrophe!! Humanity could end in a few centuries!!"

"Ice caps are reforming... oh, but that doesn't matter, though! We're still fucked!!"

We gonna rock on through Electric Universe And then we'll take it higher!

We have a broken system... how do we fix it? Oh I know, let's use it more!! GENIUS!

I know the team member who first suggested this research. As a kid, he was obsessed with spinning tops, bicycle wheels and everything else he could find that spins really fast. Looks like that passion of his spun out of control as he grew older!

You're already reaped my soul with Diablo 3. I had to Exile myself to repair the damage you've done to my soul.

Apparently, self-deprecating humor is trolling now. Good stuff, Slashdot.

... at the cost of unrepairable damage to your self-confidence, complete destruction of your morale, a phobia of and inferiority complex towards Koreans and a decade off your lifespan due to intense, repeated stress from matches and ladder anxiety permeating your life. I'll stick to Harvest Moon, personally.

Fat people can fit normal clothes. Plain old, standard, totally normal 5XL t-shirts.