He'll be in a tougher prison, getting a lot of unsolicited male.

So fuck them with a rusty shovel.

Phew. For a second there I thought you were gonna talk about how long it's taking you to copy that 17-MB file.

I try to emulate Ender too, but I prefer his "If you have a bunch of assholes impeding progress kick their leader to death. The others will fall in line" approach to team building.

We're all counting on you.

Whoa, buddy, who shit in your cornflakes this morning?

The increased resolution works even when type is enlarged. Even old folks can tell that. My father is 78 and can easily appreciate the resolution difference between the iPad 2 and 3 (it's called having glasses that work). And yes, that increased resolution makes properly ripped movies look better too. Or do you somehow think that people in their 70s are too blind to appreciate the higher resolution there, too?

The camera is because while maybe the guy only says he wants to do a couple of things, it leaves the option open to him to use the camera. For someone so het up about eyesight issues, surely you already knew that the camera app also works as a magnifying glass, right?

But hey, go ahead and only answer the feature set part of the question rather than actually analyzing the problem. Maybe you could post like an patronizing twat while you're at it.

Get a third-generation iPad. The cameras and higher resolution are worth it. You can find them refurbished on Apple's store site.

Some Guido doesn't like gays. I bet he likes fake tits and spray tans, though.

There's nothing like laughing at someone's earnest attempts at political theory or correcting their grammar to belittle their attempts at being taken seriously.

Wrong country's stats, but yeah, you get the idea. (Especially if you break them down by demographics.)

Even better, a DNA analyzer that requires a semen sample. Just to make things more secure, an image of the owner's choice will be displayed on the access screen to "inspire" them to produce the sample. If it's not your cup of tea, then it will just be an extra security feature, making things more more difficult to produce a sample.

Sure, there were a few single moms who had kids out of wedlock, but it was still relatively rare among the whitebread set. I guess that commitment thing only goes so far.

Actually, most of those day-to-day jobs were replaced by automation--word processors, calendar scheduling software, email, voicemail, billing systems, electronic payments, and so on. Not a lot of call these days for people to open mail, move papers around, and file everything when it's done.

I remember reading about how this was going to happen in the '70s, and doing it first hand in the '80s with temp jobs like setting up word processors to print mailing lists in an hour--something that used to take a secretary a month to type.

Sure, it's easy to blame India or China for the loss of many good, basic jobs, but most of the blame is right there on your desktop computer.

I first learned how to program by figuring out how to do the conversion from one form of BASIC to another. It's interesting, but I don't recommend it.

In 1975 my mom bought an IBM 5100 for her office. It came with a cartridge of games that were written in IBM's BASIC.

In 1985 I bought an Apple ][e to take to college. I wanted to play those old IBM games, so I printed out the code from the IBM and started typing them into my computer. They didn't work, so I bought a book on Applesoft BASIC to see what I was getting wrong. As I figured them out, line-by-line, I also learned how things worked.

Because when these guys fail to prove that the defendant's computer is the one they claim, any lawyer worth his or her degree will slap them with a defamation lawsuit.