One of my children is a 'special needs' kid.
Takes them an hour to do 25 elementary school math problems. Not because they are 'slow', but cannot stay on task, internally and externally distracted, all the time.
We feel pressured to always have them on meds, different meds if they don't seem to be behaving 'better', drugs roulette, so they can seem more Acceptable to Others.
IEPs. Basically years of adversarial polite conflict with the elementary school, the principal of the elementary school, to accomodate the child's special needs. The principal trying to say the child has a displine problem, and would not provide all the services called out in my child's IEP, until we escalated over the principal's head to the district itself.
My child, that I love, I worry about, contantly. I worry about them beeing bullied, teased, made to feel bad for them just being themselves, in a world that likes to be xenophobic for those that Dont Seem To Fit In.
For me, I feel a sense of resignated acceptance. I already expect for my child to always be living with me, even when I am retired. I torture myself with worry how they will do in this world, once I am no longer alive to help them.
For me, I feel a cosmic finger has pointed at me, and has judged my existance will be a bit more biblical Job than those whose kids are Normals.
For me, I will be happy to be proved wrong, and that my special needs child grows up okay, but so far, I do not see any hope of that yet.