I read this way as well, and I've noticed I frequently miss homophonic puns. F'rinstance, Kingdom of Loathing has an area known as the Orc Chasm. I mean, they don't get any more obvious, but it wasn't until I was actually halfway through telling someone else about it that I realized what I had just said.

You can imagine my amusement when I started reading Terry Pratchett books to an audience and stumbled over dozens of puns I'd missed entirely on my own read-throughs precisely because I don't have a "reading voice" in my head.

Yes, the solution is simply to switch ISPs- oh, wait, most people in the US have only two broadband providers available at most, and they both have abhorrent neutrality practices.

I can't start my own ISP because the barrier to entry is impossibly high and the current ISPs have state or city-granted monopolies on internet/phone/cable service.

Free market theory doesn't work when the market isn't free.

Collars? Hah!

Try shoeing the little buggers.

... is a Raspberry-Pi?

Sorry, but Jacques Piccard has you beat.

Only a pedophile, terrorist, or communist would think of such a thing. Please turn yourself in to the nearest Minitrue for reprogramming.

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Yeah, just like the suppliers of after-market vehicle parts all went out of business when manufacturers started computerizing cars.

This would be a problem if the Cyanogenmod team were distributed Google Apps. They do not. It is the user's responsibility to load Google Apps onto their phone and ensure that all licensing requirements are met. I believe the official solution from CM is to back up your licensed Google Apps, flash CM, then restore the backed up apps.

Granted, some 3rd party tools like Clockworkmod provide an easy means to download and install Google Apps, but Clockworkmod is not Cyanogenmod.

Okay, so who came up with this idea first? South Africa? Or Terry Pratchett?

Obviously the solution is to give the ruling class powers to impartial robots. What could possibly go wrong?

F5 refreshes the web page in all graphical browsers, which is handy.

F2 renames a file (in Windows, anyway).

I used to tell people about F1 as well, which has meant "help" since the DOS days.

Unfortunately there's a trend among PC and keyboard manufacturers lately to replace the F keys with customized crap like volume controls, launching the browser or email client or putting the computer to sleep. This has been around for years, but lately Dell, HP and even Lenovo have taken to making this crap the default function of the F keys and requiring the user to use a "Fn" key to achieve the normal function rather than vice versa, particularly on laptops.

No, Phoenix, which became Firefox (after briefly experimenting with flight) was born from the idea that if you took all the bloat and tie-in apps out of what was then Mozilla/Navigator, you'd get a really fast browser. It was supposed to be a super-lightweight browser that did one thing and one thing only: browse web pages. That's why the extensions system was written; to keep the cruft out of the core browser.

Somewhere along the way (I'm thinking around the time of the "Awesomebar", though some would argue it was sooner) that philosophy got lost.