the nazis have killed me in the last. Thankfully I reached the magical 1000 posts. I have only been able to post once since last thursday. I assumed they somehow have instituted more permanent bans on trolldom without notice. Guess they are not quite as big on due process and free speech as they act. You may post suggestions for my demise here - most likely I will go find a Panchos mexican buffet and keep raising the flag until I suffocate on their horrible enchiladas

For example, the Phone Boys.

Methods of wasting time at work: Part II - ALT and TAB keys

This entry for wasting time at work is for all you windows users out there. The ever important ALT and TAB keys on your keyboard.

While working at a computer, there are many things you can do that are not work related that can be fun, especially if you have internet access (which lets face it, everyone probably does). However, some of these actions can get you into trouble should your boss or superior (and in some cases a coworker) happen to walk by your desk.

If you are using windows, then you have a built in contingency plan: pressing the ALT and TAB keys.


This key combination can be very helpful, if utilized correctly. Again, timing is very important for this mehtod. Whilst looking at pr0n, playing a game, or whatever it is that is occupying your time (the time that should be spent working), keep a finger close to the ALT and TAB keys. When an uninvited or unexpected intruder walks into your office/cubicle/work area, use the preceeding instructions to appear as if you are working on something very important and work-related.

Methods of wasting time at work: Part I - the Office Dumpo

Today's method of wasting time at work deals with the all important timing of the office bathroom break.

Working for a large company, in the Information Technology department, I am required to drive back and forth between local branches and sometimes frequent Office Depot. As we all know, work related trips out of the office are great ways to waste time while you are getting paid. But why stop there? Why not combine this method of wasting time at work with the oldest one in the book: the bathroom break!

It works both ways. If I need to take a dump, I first check to see if any of my co-workers need anything from Office Depot before heading to the restroom at the office. Conversely, if I need to go to Office Depot for something, I try to muster up a dump for taking while there.

The imporatance of this method is timing. Begin regulary scheduled trips to office depot an hour or so after lunch. That way, you'll be "in the mood" and your co-workers, knowing that you will be departing for the supply store shortly after lunch, will begin waiting until you get back to give you their laundry lists. The Office Dumpo will be pre-programmed into your day. Once you arrive at said reatailer (Office Depot is not required, and just happens to be the store that I end up at the most), proceed directly to the restroom, and begin defecation. In the back of your mind, know that not only are you wasting time, but you are also getting paid (while defecating no less)!

The less used and more frowned upon alternate meaning for office dumpo (and yes, it should be lower case in this instance) is just taking a dump while at work. You still waste time and you still get paid, but anyone can just 'pinch a loaf' at the office. The Office Dumpo is a strategic gem. The only real benefits of the office dumpo in this usage is the fact that while you don't have home-toilet advantage, you are using a familiar toilet (and not the all feared public toilet used for the "public dump") and unneccessarily bothering coworkers. I guess there is a silver lining to every cloud.

I guess imitation..flattery...blah blah. I personally think it is Michael - he is too shy to ask me out directly so he is using this oh so clever route. here

I have not written in my journal for quite a while, and I am sure that you are concerned. Well, I have been absent for good reason. I resently joined a convent. I am going to be a nun!

First, I had a beaver (an Orgasmatron 220i) installed, then deactivated as I will not be able to use it. I cannot even finger myself. Next, I have a black pointy hat attached to my skull. Next I will get a ruler and crack all of you on the skull.

Finally, I would like to show you my first work in the nunnery: writing jokes. Here is my first offering:

An altar boy goes up to the Father and says, "Father, do you know how old I am today?"

The Father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to Sister Mary, "Sister, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell Father."

Please let me know what you think, as your opinions are so very important to me.

My whore account seems to be getting a steady supply of mod points now. It appears to get moderator status every Wednesday. Weird.

Unfortunately, because of the two post shite, I couldn't target any one troll for up-mods (nobody trolls when logged in any more) so I had to mod five trolls up by one point each. Share the wealth and all that.

It all seems to be disappearing. Trollaxor.com is gone, people are leaving slushdot and we can only post two a day.

This isn't right at all.

http://www.yams.cx

they seem to have lowered the threshold for a ban - or some anallingering mod is modbombing me.

Go me go!

just seeing if I can even post a journal - if not, then I got the whole subnet banned again. My neighbor who is a slashbot won't be happy.

Arsecandle

3 day ban in progress. I wonder if I can still post here.

who's your daddy?

10 posts as AC and I can't post any more. I hope I can still post in the journal.

On a brighter note, I had two FPs in a row, both linking to the petition. Once as "end_the_two_post_ban" and one as AC (didn't get time to log in as ettpb).