in standard media units
- Two female mosquitos colliding at 1.652 km/h? http://lhc-machine-outreach.web.cern.ch/lhc-machine-outreach/lhc_glossary.htm
- An unladen African swallow falling off a grain of sand?
- The calorific value of 1 cornflake unleashed over the space of a fortnight?

The problems you describe under "capital-M Methodologies" sound similar to "Cargo Cult Software Engineering" http://stevemcconnell.com/ieeesoftware/eic10.htm

>>How many shitloads are in a fucktonne?
It depends:
- British or American shitload?
- Land or nautical fucktonne?

Umm hello? The 2nd biggest selling point of Windows probably back to 3.0 after a GUI was so-called "multi-tasking" - i.e. multiple applications, is MS trying to jump back a full 2 decades in one go?

Looking at my desktop
- Browser (never less than 2-3 tabs)
- File explorer
- Instant messenger (being generous and counting as one, since you can use Pidgin, Digsby, Trillian etc)
- Email client
- Text editor
- One application actually doing the work (office, an IDE or whatever)
3 times over the limit already, although I guess that as long as you allow yourself to be voluntarily locked into their propriatary applications (IE, Microsoft Live, Outlook) you may be given just that little more...