You're a jackass who either doesn't have kids or was such an obnoxious dipshit about having them that the other parents hated you.
Toddlers want to use the same things mommy and daddy have. They know the difference between a toy and the real thing. My son had several toy remotes before I finally bought a spare TiVo remote and gave it to him without batteries. He now leaves the remote alone, because he has one also.
This won't be an electronic babysitter - the guy wants something to distract the little brat. If you knew what you were talking about, you'd understand that it need to be durable because kids are FAST, not because he'll be left alone with it for extended periods of time. Hell, I wouldn't trust mine with a Toughbook.
I know the rest of the world seems simple from your mom's basement, but you really should shut the fuck up.
HOLY MACRO!