"my genetics allow me to have long thick hair for the rest of my life"

Nose and ear hairs do not count.

Dude, can it with the jokes. This thing barley survived its landing.

Too much? Want more? I've got a tun of them.

Maybe it was an unplanned nap? I like the spontaneous ones best.

I think the parent poster meant to indicate that the security line itself presents a target for attack, rather than that the screening process (aside from the requirement of a lengthy queue) was dangerous.

I might debate that, though, having suffered a cut on the sole of my foot from broken glass on the floor in one of those lines, past the "remove your shoes now" sign. Stay classy, Milwaukee International.

I think you missed the point of the story - USPS cross-checked the packages and finding no cross, discarded them.

One important correction:

The Ruger 10/22 is *improved* by Volquartsen

"annual Pap tests for middle-aged women â" may be necessary in some cases, but are often not beneficial and may even cause harm"

Does nobody here remember the wailing, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments from the feminism industry when the study expressing the above findings re: annual pap smears was published? It was not that long ago. It's probably part of the current narrative of the mythological "war on women." How dare those study results conclude that the three times more Americans spend on women's healthcare than on men's may not all be entirely necessary?!? MISOGYNY! War on womyn! Won't somebody PLEASE think of the vaginas?

And so the unnecessary spending continues, the feminism industry secures more funding to make its hysterical voice heard, and no progress is made. Thanks, feminism!

"I am fluent in Japanese."

Fruent. The word is FRUENT.

I figured it was 1+2. Gods help all those poor souls going #7 this flu season.

"powered bacon"

Live pig?

Kucinich wasn't an anti-science rep. Hell he claimed to have seen a UFO from Shirley MacLaine's house. Science fiction is kinda like science, right?

"(there was an old saying; worry more about arrows that hit you in the back more than ones that might hit you in the chest.)"

It's the ones in the knee that will really get you down.

It'll be dead on arrival with much of the Southern US. Call it a Confederation. Southerners can get behind those.

"screaming for impeachment had it been done by McCain"

Safe to say that, had McCain won the election, no sane person would do *anything* that might have resulted in his removal from office. Have you forgotten about Queen Sarah Scatterbrain - the albatross that sunk McCain's campaign?

Better, shorter version:

A priest, a pedophile and a child molester walks into a bar.