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Comment Re:Tea (Score 1) 618

As all Brits know, tea can solve 99% of all problems and cure 99% of all diseases. I still voted for Kirk though.

And still the bloody Seppos saw fit to chuck it all in the river (the Hudson was it?) - Philistines!

Comment Re:I know this has NEVER been said, but: (Score 1) 267

If the Pagans had truly converted, they would no longer need or want to practice their old rituals. But continue to practice them they did, so the Catholic Church had to weave a tissue-thin veil of lies^H^H^^H^H dogma around these practices in order to claim conversion even when there was none. And it wasn't limited just to the annual festivals, such as Spring, Harvest or Midwinter. Even the greater beliefs such as the first two commandments were subject to pragmatic compromise by the Church.

The Old Gods became "Saints". Of course, there is only one God, but you can have as many Saints as you like. They can even have their own individual festival days and spheres of responsibility. But, we will not refer to them even as demi-gods! No, no, no! In this way, you could still make prayers, petitions and even offerings to them just as you could with the Old Gods (no dead animals, please). And all without violating the first commandment. Isn't that convenient? This had the wonderful side-effect that the old idols no longer represented Gods as such, so they became mere statues or "icons" and thus, the second commandment was also safe. After all, praying at my little shrine to Saint Snigglefritz was really just asking him to talk to the One True God on my behalf, as I am but a worm in His presence and thoroughly unworthy of direct contact with Him myself.

But it's not just Catholicism - All religions suck.

Comment Re:Buffing? (Score 1) 326

Ummm, what about Syringe? I'm pretty sure that rhymes with orange.

Only if you cheat by putting the em-FAH-sis on the wrong syll-AH-ble.

In that case, I have to say that my favourite solution to the orange rhyming problem is Tom Lehrer's (even though it too, is a cheat).

Eating an orange
While making love
Makes for bizarre enj-
-oyment thereof

Comment Not 'round here. (Score 0) 437

We don't celebrate hallowe'en in Australia, so most likely, they are gonna get nothing from us except a lecture. Most kids that I've seen doing the 31/10 doorknock 'round here are greedy little shits who are only in it for the goodies. They don't even dress up, so it's nothing more than door to door begging.

No costume, no candy! Now scram, kids...and get off my lawn!

Comment Re:If he succeeds, good news for NASA (Score 4, Funny) 68

I believe that doing anything like this would be only for emergency evacuations without a proper craft. I can't see this being a standard way of coming back to earth.

Of course it would become the standard - just as low-altitude skydiving has become the standard manner of returning airplane passengers to the ground.

PROTIP: That whooshing sound you can hear is not made by Felix Baumgartner.

Comment Re:That's like applying to be Canadian... (Score 4, Informative) 385

But seriously, fuck Australia's beaches. Blue bottles, box jellies, Portuguese man o wars, shark central and crocks.

Dude, you forgot the blue-ringed octopus, stonefish, sea-snakes and cone snails (yes folks, there are even fuckin' snails that can kill ya!).


Welcome to Australia!

Comment Re:Not very usable, not very secret (Score 2) 243

We've known about this for years. All the fucking diamonds are radioactive as hell.

That's not too hard for deBeers to to spin. "Our New-Clear(TM) diamonds don't just give her a wonderfully radiant glow, they have a glow all of their own." Hell, they could even add a fifth "C" to the classic 4 - Cut, Clarity, Colour, Carat, and now Candlepower.

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