Maybe an early task for the IT department could be to create such accounts on the executive's behalf, and release them as required? Obviously this will be borderline (or plain beyond) the standard T&Cs for these sites, but at least they'd be able to claim another valued user (advertising viewer).
Clearly you'd need to use a list of sites that won't get the corporation into trouble, but which encompasses all the sorts of sites its employees are likely to log in to with such credentials. Playboy might or might not be on such a white list, but should an exec need such...relief... (s)he could ask to have that site added to the list.
What the hell is a "cum lifeboat"?
Get. Me. Mind. Bleach.
On a related note, the kerning here makes "lunar injection burn" look like "lunar injection bum".
You need to see a doctor about that.
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.