One day while drinking my diet pop* (this was maybe about 3 or more years ago), I noticed the following wording on the bottle:

PHENYLKETONURICS:
CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE

Being the curious sort of person I am, I typed phenylalanine into google and determined that phenylalanine is a protein that's used to make aspartame, aka NutraSweet(tm), and that phenylketonurics are people who are unable to process phenylalanine.

Interesting.

Well, one day someone asked me about aspartame and about whether it caused headaches, because they got headaches whenever they drank diet pop. Remembering that one symptom of phenylketonurics is that pheynalalanine can cause them headaches (and even mental retardation!) I thought it useful to look it up and again, and show them the article I found, because they also said they got similar headaches from almonds, which naturally contain phenylalanine.[**]

Well, I type in phenylalanine into google and the first site in the results is a site called phenyalanine.net. Go take a look. The site is hilarious if read it carefully.

It appears to be common e-mail spam cleverly disguised as an article on phenylalanine. Everything is in there: herbal Viagra, buy real Viagra online, penis enlargement, and even AdultFriendFinder. The only thing missing were Tawny and her naughty friends! ;)

So here's my thought: the guy who made this site is a spammer. He figures a lot of people drink diet pop and have no clue what phenylalanine or phenylketonurics are. So they type 'phenylalanine' into google, and his site, which has somehow cleverly got around the google pageranking system is right up at the top. They click the headline, which says 'phenylaline and sexual enhancement' and boom, get this "article" which actually appears to be the Ultimate Web Spam!

Ingenious! Spam on every bottle of diet pop on the planet!

Why didn't I think of that? ;)

[*] pop == what we call 'soda' in Detroit
[**] why do people ask me this stuff? I dunno. maybe they think I'm smart. Maybe it's cause I'm an herbalist. I dunno. *shrug*

I tried to get an Ultra 60 this morning booted into single user by issuing a Stop-A and a "boot -s". The thing wouldn't do it. It insisted on trying to mount all the NFS mounts, one of which isn't working due to a server that is down and being changed. I wanted the Ultra 60 booted into single user mode to comment out the appropriate line from the /etc/vfstab.

Unfortunately, the stupid thing wouldn't boot into the single user mode when I issued a boot -s. It just kept on mounting NFS stuff like it was nothing. *sigh*

So I ended up booting into single user mode off a Solaris installation CD-ROM with "boot cdrom -s" instead. Then I fixed the problem by "mount /dev/dsk/c0t0d0s0 /mnt" and then "vi /mnt/etc/vfstab" ;)

The question is: WTF wouldn't the thing boot into single user mode off the HDD? I don't get it. I banged on it for an hour before giving up and seraching for the dang install CD. Anybody got any clues? Something I should look for?

Woah! Surak is apparently suffering from amnesia after being hit on the head with a brick by SolemnDragon! He can't seem to remember anything about bethanie or their recent episodes with public sex. Sol's Wicked and Evil twins also had an encounter with the Good Twin who returned from her watery grave. The Wicked and Evil twins apparently got a hold of the Zippo again, because Sol cleaned her apartment again, which apparently involves "matches AND a fire hose".

Meanwhile, Bethanie has found a new a TechnoLust. Quote: "It was bad enough when I lunged and embraced TL intimately (copping a thorough feel whilst I was at it, for good measure!); it took all of Hubby's willpower not to take TL outside and thrash his philandering ass." So apparently, Bethanie is none the worse for wear over Surak's recent amnesia, instead opting for new trysts with TechnoLust and gmhowell. More details on gmhowell to come.BethaniesHubby was notably silent on the issue.

berniecase, noticing how bad pop music is, has decided to to use it to kill people. No word on how successful bernie has been, but the songs of death have included "Rock With you" by Michael Jackson and "Around the World" by Daft Punk. Em Emalb apparently got in on the action singing his rendition of "Easy Like Sunday Morning" by the Lionel Richie. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sulli has apparently decided to set himself on fire in the Burning Man event at Black Rock City. Sulli is, in fact The Burning Man.

sparky4 has been learning things from puppies. Amongst the things she has learned: sit, rollover, play dead, and shake. Apparently, she accomplished all of these tasks by Labor Day.

Some Womanwas found sptting Vodka in the face of Jesus. The Pope was notably silent on the issue.

Turg apparently amused by the simplest of things, like this colour matcher would like to know something about colour theory. Apparently turg is colour blind because he didn't actually try using the thing, unlike your intrepid reporter.,

Things are Looking up for LadyGuardian, which is especially good given the fact that she sucks at ass o'clock. Whatever that means.

NaveWeiss's tactlessness has cost him a friend. And he's somehow surprised.

Heliocentric would like you to donate money so that he can cause mayhem. If he's going to cause mayhem, why doesn't he just steal the money?

robi2106 wants you to know that "most girls are evil". And robi wonders why he can't get a date, It might be okay to think that, robi, but never, ever say it outloud.

FortKnox is starting his NEW photo contest! Now your chance to sign up. Let WeeklyRecap(tm) know that we can use the photo, and maybe, just maybe, we'll put out a WeeklyRecap(tm) special photo edition! WOuldn't that be cool?

Servo apparently is a moron. That is all.

Red Warrior, who apparently dresses in business casual, will "personally tend to ignore your clothes", however. Ick. Hey, Red: the 90s called, they want their clothes back.

And, finally, SamTheButcher has been airing his laundry and, apparently, his garbage as well. And he wants to "ANYBODY NEEDS A LINUX ADMIN IN COLORADO???" He's serious.

Oh yeah...get all of your hosting needs from basic websites to dedicated servers from simpli.biz. Tell Erica that Surak sent ya. ;)

for our special post-Labor Day edition.

In the meantime... pizza delivery people: what's up with that? The guy got pissed off because he had to drive 3 miles, my pizza didn't arrive til an hour and a half later, and then it's cold. And the most he does is give me $5 off?

*&)#@%^$*&)_!

What happened to service?

Here are some useful things I've learned as a techie bachelor living by himself. Geeks still living in their parents' basement need not apply. (And I just pissed off about half of Slashdot. ;)

Economic tips

Soda: Here in Detroit we call it 'pop'. So if when I say 'pop' I mean soda. Most geeks are caffeine addicts and drink soda by the gallon. Don't buy individual pops. Two-litre bottles are a good choice, especially since you can get them in the gas stations for as little as $0.89 (plus deposit). Read the ads for your favorite supermarket chain. Some of them like this one that many of you have never heard of but is big in the Midwest even put them online. Scan for sales on pop! I just picked up a few 12-packs of Diet Coke for $1.69 each.

Printer paper: Go to OfficeMax or someplace like that and get one of the inbox trays you undoubtedly have at work on your desk. Or steal it from work. I didn't tell you to do that. ;) Keep it next to your printer. Put all of those extra blank pages and aborted pages and any extra pages you have lying around in the tray, all facing one way. Flip it over. Now you have extra paper to print stuff like directions from Mapquest or phone numbers from Superpages.com on! (Also, if you can get away with it...print big stuff at work. Shhh! I didn't tell you that either! ;)

Food: Pizza and Chinese food have long been hacker staples. Eating delivery pizza and take-out Chinese every night can get expensive. Stir fry is one of those dishes that's as good as Chinese carry out (IMHO) and it's easy and cheap to make and takes <15 minutes, including prep time!

equipment:
First off, invest a few dollars into a George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine. You can get one of the small units with a bun warmer for as little as $50 at your local discount chain store. Also, you need a wok or a large frying pan. The non-stick kind. And an egg turner or large wooden spoon or fork or something to stir with. A kitchen knife for the meat.

Next, stock up on stir fry vegetables. I use pre-cut frozen stir fry vegetables that you can get for as little as $1 for a 1 lb. bag. (Ewww..frozen? In a stir fry you will never be able to tell the difference. Trust me.) And rice or noodles if you prefer. These are cheap.

Meat, if you eat that sort of thing: watch the specials. I usually get chicken breast fillets or pork tenderloins.

Oil. I use a nice extra-virgin olive oil, which tends to be a bit expensive, but you can use other oils. Olive oil is healthy and doesn't leave any odd tastes on your food though.

Sauce. You can make a sauce, but I personally just pick up a bottle of Kikkoman Stir Fry Sauce or Teryaki sauce. Most supermarkets carry a nice variety of different Asian-cooking type sauces and sauce mixes. The mixes are cheap, so you might wanna consider those, especially since you can always doctor 'em up more easily than the stuff in a bottle.

Cooking it up
Plug the grilling machine in (it takes 5 mins to warm up), and start preheat your wok or pan to 350 F. Get out your meat and start cutting any extra fat off and cut the meat into cubes. By the time you finish with that, the wok should be ready to add oil...add some oil to the walk. Get out your vegetables. You need about 1/2 of a 1 lb bag per person. Throw those in the pan or wok and stir. They need to cook for 5-10 minutes. Keep stirring them every 15-30 seconds or so. Take your meat, and toss it on the grilling machine. This will take about as long as the vegetables.

When the meat is done cooking, toss it in the wok with the pan, add your sauce, any additional seasonings you want, and stir. Let it cook about another minute or two. Serve and enjoy.

If you want RICE or NOODLES, follow the directions on the package for making those. You'll typically want to start your rice or noodles before you start anything else.

Housekeeping tips

General Cleaning: To avoid having to spend your Saturday or Sunday cleaning your place, start doing this. Take 5 minutes every day and do something to clean your place. Pick up clutter, dust off a table, vaccum a room etc. Use a stopwatch. Live by the stopwatch. You'd be surprised at how much stuff you can get done in 5 minutes. Then, when the weekend does roll around,
you won't have to spend all day cleaning, just maybe half an hour or so straightening up.

One bathroom tip: Completely remove the toilet seat from your toilet now and then...you'd be VERY SURPRISED at how much disgusting germs and slime accumulate where the hinges attach to the bowl. Ew. :)

Okay, this has gotten WAYYY to long... more in a later JE!

As SolemnDragon says this is my journal, do what I want. It's pretty much what most of the rest of you said as well, I think what Sol had to say was pretty eloquent.

Yeah, Sol, it's a dictatorship, not a democracy or a meritocracy. ;) I just don't want to come off like the ass that CmdrTaco makes himself out to be. Then again, as much as Taco would hate to admit it, Slashdot just isn't his personal blog anymore. Thanks again, Sol. :)

And thanks to everyone else who submitted their feedback. The overwhelming response, is of course, that there's nothing wrong with it, but do what I want.

So here it is: Weekly Recap(tm) will stay once a week (Mondays), and won't grow significantly in length...in fact, as it stands now it pretty much fluctuates a bit from week to week, so it's likely to stay that way. It's about what catches my eye...and if you don't make it in, it isn't that i didn't read your JE, it's probably either A) I forgot to put it in there (like in SamTheButcher's case) or B) there is a possibility that I just couldn't think of anything witty to write about it, or C) maybe there just isn't room this week. :)

So there ya go. :)

A) Make Weekly Recap(tm) longer to include more people, possibly at the expense of losing readers due to short attention spans on /.

B) Add another day, and make Weekly Recap(tm) a semi-weekly.

C) Leave it alone -- it's great the way it is.

D) Other

Weekly Recap(tm): Because enquiring geeks wanna know!

SolemnDragon, has decided to keep knives under her pillow, following an incident involving a cake that didn't turn out too well. Could it really have been that bad? Sol also got older this week! Happy birthday, Sol! May the Twenty Seven Birthday Spankings Commence! Surak has volunteered his services in administering the birthday scour...err...spankings. ;)

bethanie, bethanie, bethanie. All you talk about is Bethanie, Surak! Well, if you knew that what she has that's *Warm*, "*Soft* *Moist* and tastes great," that's all you'd be talking about, too. Oh, and she wants to how many times *you've* had the pleasure as well. Weekly Recap(tm) has no idea what that's all about, but suspects that it may have to do with hints of a tryst between bethanie and gmhowell. Could this mean the end for Bethanie and Surak? Will Bethanie replace Surak with gmhowell? Find out next week!

Speaking of gmhowell, read his his rollercoaster ride job hunting exploits. Just do it.

robi2106 finally understands the U.S. Constitution after reading a version of America's highest law written for 5th graders. There is hope for robi2106 and the USA yet.

NeMon'ess has compiled his listing of the Best. Bondage. Movies. Evar. NeMon'ess was subsequently beaten severely by his dominatrix. He is currently at a local hospital and is listed as being in stable condition.

Remember last week's Recap tips? Well, The Cydonian apparently thought he'd get into Weekly Recap(tm) by whoring his way in. Well, well, Mr. Cydonian, it seems that you are wrong. So there! :-P

FortKnox, after last week's encounter with the mindless suit droid version of SlashChick has had his "brain wiped out" by Wings and Garlic. Dave Lewis, the new head coach of the Detroit Red Wings, could not be reached for comment.

How do you make 105 degree heat feel good? Well, according to intermodal, it apparently involves "a jury-rigged setup of a battery charger and a set of jumper cables attatched to my wife". Amazing.

SlashChick met FortKnox at the mall, but we all knew that. What we didn't know is that SlashChick has "some voice inside my head [and] it scares me to death!" Listen to the voices, SlashChick, listen to the voices... do what they say....

LadyGuardian has returned from her apparent alien abduction as well. What still has to be explained are the "140 odd /. messages" in her inbox. Alright, who left those? C'mon. Fess up. Actually, judging by Some Woman's latest display of total insanity, it was probably her.

Looks like it's going to be such "an expensive month" for Tet that he's going to "go...Hungary! (or something like that)." Wow. If you have food donations, you are asked to donate them to the Save Tet From Starvation Fund.

Em Emalb got seriously sunburned and wants to know whether you think that that's worse or gnawing your own arm off. Apparently Em has never actually gnawed his own arm off.

Oh, and apparently Surak after committing incest with a family member has become a dead-beat dad. And then the guy has the nerve to turn around and advertise himself as an available bachelor! Wow. He needs a beating. Sol? ;)

Update: FortKnox pointed out that SamTheButcher has been out butt-fucking animal ass. Police are currently searching for Sam and ask that if you know his whereabouts to call 1-800-ANIMALABUSE.

Will someone please tell the stupid fscking Slashbots that hard drives are NOT a reliable means of backup because they don't separate the media from the reader? This is System Administration 101 people! That is all.

Wow. Someone offered me money for my account. Apparently I have a low UID. Like it matters all that much. When I started, my UID was high. Now it's low. Whatever. How much are they getting for accounts with low UIDs and karma capped at "excellent" these days? Should I sell it? It's not like I need the money, but hey, a new PC *would* be nice. :)

Okay...here's the scoop: I have given up. After becoming wayyy to embroiled in family politics and ending up physically ill over it, I and the sorta-cousin, sorta-pregnant, sorta-girlfriend girl have mutually decided to give up. So there ya go. I am now searching for new love interests once again, there's no turning back this time. :)

So, if you or anyone you know is interested in dating a single male in his early 30s who has modern feminist ideals, works as a UNIX sysadmin with decent salary, and currently lives in Michigan but has considered (and will continue to consider) moving to other parts of the country (not for the sake of love per se... I think it'd just be cool to live somewhere else :), likes outdoorsy stuff (especially camping and hiking), sings karaoke, enjoys taking long romantic walks, likes to write and generally enjoys movies, music, books, is a great cook, intelligent, charming, attractive ummm...drop me an e-mail.

(Yes the personal ad is only semi-serious ;)

Weekly Recap(tm): Because enquiring geeks wanna know!

Surak disappeared last week, apparently abducted by aliens from outer space. Or Al Qaeda terrorists. Or it could be that he's been sick with gall bladder disease. But Weekly Recap is not buying it. We're going for the Al Qaeda terrorists from Alpha Centauri theory.

FortKnox is the next Slashdot user to abducted by said Al Qaeda terrorists from Alpha Centauri. After meeting SlashChick in the mall on August 12th, he hasn't been heard from since.

SlashChick, meanwhile, after being abducted by the alien terrorists, has been replaced with a mindless suit imposter. The imposter was heard using droid-phrases like "initial capital," "cash-flow statement," "secure additional capital," and "profitable." The search for the real SlashChick continues, and has begun with her mysterious disapparence along with FortKnox at mall near their homes. Anyone who has seen FortKnox or the real SlashChick is asked to call the milk carton hotline at 1-800-MISSING or your local FBI office.

Bethanie, deprived of the company of Surak, stating, among other things, "WHERE'S THE WEEKLY RECAP(TM)!?!" bemoaning "This is kinda like an alcoholic running out of liquor on a Sunday night ('round these parts) and getting desperate enough to break out the NyQuil," actually went back to performing her wifely duty. Meanwhile, bethanie's parents were over her place getting nude in front of her and her preschool-age child. Finally, the lights went out in Georgia. To quote bethanie "It was a hardship, I must admit. But we struggled through our hour of darkness (for indeed, it was about sixty minutes that we were without power) with the tenacity and strength of character passed down to us from our steely Appalachian forbears." Bethanie, honey, you don't know the MEANING of the word hardship. ;)

While LadyGuardian was battling an unidentifiable stench, probably emanating from the Royal Candian Mounted Police, the power went out. Evidentally, Toronto got their power going well before Detroit did, because Surak didn't have power until the next day. Damn those Canadians all to hell anyway!. All they do is go on road trips and get sloshed, just like LadyGuardian.

TechnoLust, who has been seeing multiple chicks lately, called hottub girl a whore and then slept with her! Meanwhile, TechnoLust has been stalking CR, the girl he met at church, while asking Slashdot users for their blessing in doing so. Bethanie, who is apparently into stalkers, was all over that, totally encouraging him to go for it!

Xerithane has apparently contracted multiple personality disorder, since he now thinks that he's Jenny from the Bronx. Obviously his latest journal entries are a desparate cry for help.

Rumours abound: sulli is actually Fox News personality Bill O'Reilly. Weekly Recap(tm): Gossip that's fair and balanced.

On a more serious note,SolemnDragon writes about her experiences with karma. She assures us that karma has nothing to do with her recent episodes involving cow flinging, poor dating etiquette, blood money, or the death of Gregory Hines. It is unknown if Hines' death had anything to do with the blood money, dating etiquette or cow flinging.

Some Woman is running for governor of California. However, it is important to note that, unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, she is not for sale in North America.

intermodal was arrested today on charges of violating the USA Patriot Act. Apparently, intermodal is advocating that the states overthrow the federal government. No word yet on when intermodal's trial is set to begin.

How to make it into Weekly Recap(tm)!

Some of you were begging to make into Weekly Recap(tm). For those of you who didn't make it, and want to make it in, some tips:

• Keep your journal up-to-date. Stuff older than about a week generally won't make it into Weekly Recap(tm) (hence the name WEEKLY recap), unless it is being used as background for more recent material.
• Write interesting stuff about your life. The latest bugs in program X, while newsworthy, don't make interesting gossip.
• Get my attention. Good headlines grab my attention.
• Post in the Weekly Recap(tm) discussions if you aren't on my friends list. This will get me to notice your journals if you aren't on my friends list for some reason. I'm a little bad about keeping it up-to-date, so keep posting until I notice! :)
• If you can't be interesting, be funny. Unlike on the rest of Slashdot, this WILL earn you karma points! ;)

Well, I'm back online after the notorious Blackout of 2003. As a computer expert, I've been speculating on another cause of the blackout other than the 'official' stories running around. I'm not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but let's consider one possibility for a moment. When the Kevin Mitnick story was going around, there was a lot of speculation about 'hackers' (I hate that word, I prefer 'crackers' myself, but then the all the white people in Detroit go 'huh?' ;) breaking into the electric power grid.

What if it happened? What if that caused the power outage? The government says it wasn't terrorism, but they don't *know* what caused it. What about cyber terrorism? I think it was Cavuto on Fox News that paused to ask that question.

I heard not-so-widely touted reports on one news station that if it weren't for some vigilant people at the Valley Forge, PA power station that much of the entire country would have been out, at least all the way to the *Rocky Mountains*. No, I'm not making this up, this is what I heard. This story talks about the fast finger work the Valley Forge operators did to prevent their system going down, but stops just short of making the implication I laid out. But I *know* what I heard elsewhere, and it hasn't been widely touted.

The Great Blackout of 2003 comes just around the same time as LovSan. Hmmm...what if LovSan were a cover for the *real* hacking that was going on to bring the power grid down? Get the network security guys at the power companies busy locking down Windows servers while the real dirty work goes on to bring the power grid down?

Now the government, for it's part, changed its story quite a bit over the weekend. When the power went down, the media were touting a new explanation every five minutes: a solar flare? Lightning striking the Blackhawk/Niagra Falls station? Massive mechanical failure? Every theory thrown out has been tossed due to overwhelming evidence to the contrary (it was a sunny day in Niagra Falls, no mechanical failure has been found, no unusual solar activity for the day, etc.)

It's like Flight 800 all over again. And many many people STILL suspect a coverup. People who work in the aerospace biz. (I work for a company that does aerospace and automotive engineering). People who say that there was NO WAY it was a fuel tank explosion caused by an electrical fire. But I digress.

I don't know...I'll be waiting for an explanation myself, but I honestly think that there is a strong possibility that the Blackout was orchestrated. By whom? I won't speculate. But I, personally, don't think that the timing of LovSan was any coincidence.

What do you guys think? Mini poll:

A) Surak lost his mind when the power went out and he STILL doesn't have it all the way back.

B) Surak lost his mind a LOOOONG time ago.

C) Hey, maybe you're on to something here...

D) I believe everything the government tells me. Oswald shot Kennedy, that was a weather balloon in Roswell, NM, and the U.S. is perfectly safe from terrorist attacks.

E) Nah, man, the power transmission system is just friggin' ancient.

F) I have no idea.

G) Other

I've lived a rather uneventful life. Maybe I don't take many chances that would get me close to death. Or maybe I'm just lucky. I dunno. :)

The only time I've ever been close to death was a traffic accident I had.

I used to work at the General Motors Technical Center in Warren, Michigan, about 4 miles north of Detroit's east side. During that time, I was attending college at the University of Phoenix's Troy, MI, Campus, and had regular (mandatory) study group sessions in which we worked on group projects. One session in particular was at this woman's house who lived on the far east side, in Grosse Pointe area (very wealthy people, some of those Grosse Pointers). Anyway, the meetings were at her house (there is another whole story behind this woman that I will save for another day...she became my best friend and almost left her husband of 10 years for me later on ;). For any of you Red Wings fans, there is TONS of hockey memorabilia in this woman's home, mostly because her husband works for Joe Louis Arena, where the Red Wings play.

Anyhow, I had barely known her at this point, or any of the other people in my new study group. But I had to go, and I was kinda anxious to get there. Wasn't sure why, but in retrospect, I'd have to say that maybe part of me knew then exactly how much impact this woman would have on my life later on.

So I'm driving in heavy traffic on I-696 after work, heading to her house. The usual stuff as any Detroiters will instantly be able to tell you. Insanity. People cutting in and out of traffic, people getting on your a$$, total utter chaos.

This jackass in a large white van has been tailgating me since I made the mistake of getting into his lane. The traffic is stopping suddenly ahead, and I'm worried that he's gonna hit me when I brake.

So I try to swerve into the other lane next to me, and realize that the guy that WAS behind me in that other lane saw me looking over my shoulder and decided to speed up so I couldn't get in. He almost hits me as I try to swerve back into the original lane, only this time I have lost control of the vehicle and end up in a spin...I ended up clipping someone, not sure where she was, I guess she had cut in front of the van from what witnesses tell me, and we both spun into the median wall.

I hit it pretty hard and my car, a late 80s Volkswagen Jetta, flips over. The roof and windshield crush in on me, cutting my face, arms, and head. I had put my arm over my face to sheild my eyes instinctually, and ended up breaking it -- bad. I had to have an external fixiator device that had steel pins that were drilled into my bones. It wasn't pleasant, and it looked rather disturbing. :) And there was the whole one-handed typing thing. Heh. ;)

I went to the hospital, in shock and passed out from it by the time I got there. So the cops never really heard my side of the story except when they woke me and I was on some heavy drugs (probably morphine).

To make matters worse, the asshat in the truck stayed and told the cops that I was cutting in and out of traffic and driving erratically at a high rate of speed to take any cast of suspicion off him. Jackass. I had to go to court. Fortunately, higher forces were at work and the cop never showed (because there was a nasty virus going around at the time), so the judge had to, under Michigan law, throw my ticket for careless driving out.

That was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. Changed my life. Forced me to question my own spirituality, and it is one of the many reasons I became pagan later. It's also the reason I now drive a pickup truck. Everyone wants to tailgate you when you drive a small car, but a pickup will earn you respect. :)

Because Enquiring Geeks Wanna Know!

SolemnDragon posted a lovely Chinese Pearl Ball receipe, which she undoubtedly stole from bethanie, the official Slashdot chef extraodinaire. Sources close to SolemnDragon tell Weekly Recap that she has hired Servo, who according to an earlier journal entry, who is not only also a chef, but may just be a lawyer, and is suing bethanie SCO style. SolemnDragon was later seen to be price gouging and infringing on consumer's privacy. Slashdot geeks have labelled her to be the next Microsoft.

ceejayoz recently got divorced over SMS. Since ceejayoz lives in the U.S., to add insult to injury, he had to pay for the SMS.

sql*kitten is having an affair with singer Blu Cantrell. There are rumours of a four-way between everyone's favorite kitty, Cantrell, Beyonce and Anastacia.

LadyGuardian, while being chased by an angry mob, who were after her for allegedly carrying fruits and vegetables that were contaminated "with all kinds of chemicals [that were] outlawed". Instead of running from the mob, she first stopped to pick up a duck, after which "It didn't move." The angry mob continued to chase the duck-killing, contaminated-food-carrying LadyGuardian to an inn called "The Willow," which according to sources close to Weekly Recap, is a haven for outlaws ran by a mysterious figure known only as "G". LadyGuardian was later seen in a bank, talking to parrots, a lady in an orange sequinned outfit, and the only teller in the bank, who was apparently, "very, very hot." LG was spotted later in the week driving a a stolen red convertible, with a hot laptop, the teller from the bank, and the parrot. LadyGuardian's whereabouts are unknown at this time. Police ask that if you see her to call 1-800-CRIMESTOPPERS.

daoine is looking for tips on being a contractor, apparently fed up with the whole Jedi padoine learner lifestyle of being basically broke. Ask Slashdot's Cliff was helpful to point out that these questions have already been answered by the Slashdot crowd, who apparently know everything.

SuiteSisterMary is converting all of his(?) servers to X-boxes. SuiteSisterMary was later arrested for violating key provisions of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and subsequently fired by his boss, FortKnox because X-Boxes are apparently incapable of running Java.

NeMon'ess has done one worse than Surak (who merely asked Slashdot for relationship advice) and is asking Slashdot for for fashion advice. C'mon, NeMon'ess, the height of fashion on /. is those "got r00t?" T-shirts. Gimme a break!

jawtheshark celebrated his 3.5 year wedding on the 29th. Apparently not only are anniversaries celebrated on half-years in Luxembourg, but it is also legal to marry one's car there.

Em Emalb has decided to lock his two furry bitches..." in FortKnox's bathroom (mentioned last week), with a knife in a contest to the death. No word yet on which one lived, but a similar fate awaited Jim and Itai, Xerithanes "tonsils" who were also pitted to a deathmatch. No one seemed to care.

bethanie, after the controversy involving her public sexcapades, has lately been enjoying The Wild Life on her sprawling estate in Georgia. Surak publically denies ever being in Georgia or going under the pseudonymn "The Wild Life". Bethanie, when asked about her sexual practices, admitted that "there's no place like home". Meanwhile, in related news, rumours continue to stir about bethanie's sexuality, citing her recent fascination with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and chest waxing.

TechnoLust, self-confessed gansta, was found bribing radio DJs, kissing gorgeous waitresses in a hot tub, and just generally being totally full of himself, which is apparently the secret to success with women. Either that, it was the ruffies that sources close to TechnoLust, known only to Weekly Recap as DM, say were slipped into into her drink.

Get your webhosting from simpli.biz.

SlashChick has started a web hosting business, simpli.biz, which seems to be doing well despite being so young. Basic webhosting starts at $6.95/month, which includes PHP and MySQL access running Sun Cobalt machines running Red Hat Linux. Surak denies that the reason he is spamming Weekly Recap to advertise her business has anything to to do with the fact that he thinks she is super hot.

Despite rumours to the contrary, gmhowell claims that he's not dead. But Python probably is. ;)

$$$$exyGal wants to know why tech jobs are going to India. Slashdot users wanna know why her pr0n links went there, too.