How did El Naschie game the system?

According to Elsevier, his impact factor is 3.025, which does seem high compared to Elsevier titles like Advances in Applied Mathematics (founded by Gian-Carlo Rota, who was a respectable mathematician).

It's clear from the samples that El Naschie's articles are complete garbage, and I'm sure no respectable mathematician would want to publish in what's effectively a crackpot's vanity press. This is obviously the scientific journal version of Googlebombing.

So how did he pull this off? Is he citing himself, and if so, where?

While it is possible to extract DNA from feces it is difficult to say whos it is, the DNA and feces.

Well, that's not completely true... you can tell the difference between, say, a cat and a bird. So unless you have a cat that has eaten another cat, this should work for you.

Usually, you need to catch the thing, this is of course hard for rare creatures and it may also incure the rath of the endagered speices act.

Um, no. All you need is a blood sample, and as watching any popular-science nature show will how you, scientists are certainly allowed to take samples from and monitor the populations of endangered species.

Java is compiled Just-in-time, though I don't know about smaller, obscure or embedded platforms.

Not all Java is compiled JIT.

The jurisdictional variety pretty much stems from the foundation of our country and the various states that it is comprised of.

Sure, I'm not debating the cause. Canada has its share of historical peculiarities also (e.g. a totally separate legal code in Quebec, an appointed Senate) but this at least one case where the Canadian system seems transparently better, and that was my main point. (Lest you think I'm just speaking from habit or bias, I can certainly think of others where our system is not better.)