I had a ham & cheese sandwich and a salad (again) for lunch yesterday; I had 6 cookies as well. My ass has decided that ~5:30am is pooping time. This morning's poop took some work to get going. This turd was odd in the fact that it wasn't cylinder shaped, but like a ribbon. It was flattened and about 6" long and looked fiberous. The turd was a medium brown and had a healthy earth smell to it. Clean up took a few extra passes and it flushed easily. I rate it an 8.

I took a rare second poop today as well. This one was while at work. Nothing worthy of note, except for the actual 'event' and what went on during the poop.

I don't like pooping at work. The bowl is too shallow and sometimes my balls dip down in to the water. So, I have to cup my nads what I shit. This is not comfortable. I also have my cell with me at all times. Naturally, it rings just as I settle in. I *have* to take it:

Me: "Uh...Hello, TTR speaking."
Droid: "Hey, this is Joe Salesdroid. I have DonkeyPunch Networks on the phone and they have a big spam problem. I hear your the guy to solve these types of problems."
Me: "Yeah, but I am in the mid..."
Droid: "Great, this is a big customer, I'll bring them on."
Me: "But, I am taking a..."
*beep*
At the point the customer comes on. I am sitting in a toilet, with my balls in one hand and my cell in the other. I am just gonna have to wing it and try to hold on.
*fast forward a few moments*
Customer: "...and most of what we are seeing there is coming from..."
Me (no longer able to hold on): "Uuuuunnnggggghhhh...*Faaaarrrrrtttt!*...*plop*...Oy..."
Customer: "...asia and we can't determine where..."
Me: *faaaarrrrrrtttt*...oh...jeez...
Droid: Um, TTR, what is that noise?
Me: "Oh, I am in the crapper."
Droid: "...."
Customer: "....."
Me: "I have to wipe here, guys, can I call back in a few minutes?"
Customer: "....."
Droid: "....um...ah...ok..."

I can't rate this turd, because the auto-flush took it away before inspection. I do rate the fact that a customer had got to hear me take a shit as a '10'.

The binding effects of the Percocets has passed. (pun not intended) Yesterday, I had a ham and cheese sandwich on rye bread and a small salad. I also had a craving for milk and drank a half gallon after work. I was awoken at 5am by my cat meowing by my head. I woke up, rolled over and started to let a 'Good Morning' fart. I felt a gurgling and welling up in my gut. "That's no fart", I thought to myself as I hopped up and staggered into the bathroom half awake. Everything seems to have left my ass at once. A sudden rush and a sound like that of a potato gun firing mud at a wall and it was over. There was a strong sulphur smell to it. The turd wasn't solid, but it wasn't liquid either. It was a semi-solid; solid enough to plaster itself to the back of the bowl. Clean up was a bit of a mess, but the wet-wipes cleared everything out. Upon flushing, the semi-turd clung defiently to the bowl. A second flush sent it to its fate at the waste treatment plant. I rate this turd as a 7.

There is something up with a muscle in my upper leg; the pain is like a punishment from God. My doc perscribed Percocet for me; they tend to bind me up. I hadn't pooped for almost 2 days and this morning the pain in my gut was unbearable. In the past days I had eaten the buffet at Charlie Chang's, a roll-up from Harris Teeter's, 2 cheeseburgers from McD's, and 2-3 pounds of red, seedless grapes. This sat in my gut, like a lead weight. Sitting on the can was painful as the muscle is very tight. Being backed up, I had to push like I haven't pushed a turd in a very long while. After a few minutes, it all rushed from my body in one explosive load. I instantly felt 5 pounds lighter and 100% better. The turd was shaped like grape-shot that they used to use in cannons and was a uniform brown color. I can't comment on odor, as the cat had just taken a poop right before me (and my cat's poop reeks like hot death). Clean up was very easy. The almost painful level of pushing does hurt the over all rating of this turd, but I felt so good afterwards, I'll give it an 8.

I'm just writing this to explain why I have the goatse site currently listed as my homepage.

It's because I've been reading slashdot for a good number of years now. I'm approaching 3000 posts. And I find a lot of fun and humour in the community and seeing people react when presented with illogical, untrue or just plain whacky information. Perhaps I'm just becoming jaded.

So I added goatse as my homepage in order to see how people will react. It's funny when people think that this is a troll account because of it. But rest assured that I am not actually the goatse guy.

Yesterday, I had blue crabs and steamed, spiced shrimp from the DC Wharf. I had a bit of tea this morning and that got my ass in gear, as it were. I also had a craving for milk for some reason, I must have drank a gallon of it yesterday. Anyway, this mornings turd started w/o any assistance, but there was a bit of pushing towards the middle. It went quick and there was no gas. I have a touch of a cold, so I can't give a good report on the smell. the turd itself was very loose, but not diareah. There was still a turd shape to it. It was very broken up and it was hard to determine length, but there was a fair amount of poop. It was a light brown color, almost tan. Clean up was easy with 2 whipes and a wet-wipe/dry-wipe finish. I rate this turd a 6.

I didn't eat much Sunday; I just had 2 BLTs on bagels as an early lunch and 6 pizza rolls for dinner. This mornings poo was out of sync with my morning routine. Usually, I wake up and have 5-10 minutes before my ass wakes up. Today, the need to poo was immediate; Not so immediate that I thought I would shit myself, but enought to let me know to start moving towards the can. The ammount of effort to get the turd going was just right; not so lax that it is diarhea, but not such a strain that I think I am going to have a stroke. Once the inital breakthru, it was smooth sailing. There was one alpha turd and 2 beta turds. The alpha turd was a good 9 inches long and had the same icecream cone shape of the previous day's. The beta turds were a generic turd shape. They were all a consistant, light brown color with no irregularities. It stayed submerged and I didn't fart alot, so there was little to no smell. Clean up was a bit of a mess, it took a good half dozen wipes with paper before it was clean enough for the wet wipe. Thankfuly, I did a pre-flush, so the excess paper didn't cause a clog. I rate this turd a 7.

Yesterday, I had a roast beef roll-up from Harris Teeter. I also had a California roll and some shrimp sushi. For dinner, I had a dozen frozen pizza rolls.

This mornings turd was rather solid. It took a second of pushing followed by the relief of the turd breaking thru to splashdown. The turd was in two peices, the main one was kinda ice-creamcone shaped (at 5") and the other was a mini-turd (at 2.5"). They were both uniformly a generic brown color. I found this to be odd, because the roast beef roll I had has these long strips of lettuce in them that stay intact thru the digestive process; this usually gives the turd a racing stripe of green down one side. The odor was masked by the orange floor cleaner that I had mopped with the previous night. Clean-up was very easy and only took a couple of wipes followed with a wet wipe. I rate this turd an 8.

Chief Justice Moore is making a stand. He is willing to put his life in jeopardy to overturn the practice of Federal Courts ruling in matters they cannot have jurisdiction over.

The first amendment is clear:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;

This means that there can be no federal law that says someone may or may not practice a particular religion. Thus, the federal court's "finding" that Chief Justice Moore is violating the imaginary "seperation between church and state" by placing a monument in the foyer of the state court is bogus. There can be no federal law saying you cannot have anything religious in a public building. Congress is the only branch of government that can make laws, and they are explicitly prohibited from making any such law!

Instead, hundreds of lawless judges -- judges who make laws when they have no power to do so -- have tried to join together to exert their illegitimate power in a judicial dictatorship. They are telling us to abide by their lawless rulings or suffer the consequences!

What power does a federal judge have to decide whether or not you can have an abortion? What power does a federal judge have to decide whether or not you can worship your God in a particular place? What power does a federal judge have in determining whether or not a particular group of people can decide to commit heinous acts of sexual depravity? Absolutely none, and teh constitution is explicit in saying so. Go read Amemendment the 10th if you don't believe so. Where in the constitution does it mention immorality or abortion? Nowhere. And so the power to decide on these issues lies only with the states and the people. Where does it mention that congress is allowed to even approach the subject of religion? In the 1st amendment, it explicitly states that they cannot. Since the 1st amendment still stands, they cannot.

I pray to God in the holy name of Jesus Christ that Justice Moore is able to revolt against these lawless judges. I pray that he is able to bring to the forefront of political discourse the idea that the constitution means what it says, not what some tyrannical judges try to interpret or invent! May dictatorships and tyranny, wherever it is found, be overturned, and in its place, lawfulness, obedience to God's will, and happiness found instead. Amen.

It seems anyone can justify any extreme government spending by claiming "It's for the children". If we don't correct that mistaken notion, our nation will become a third world country.

Children have a divine claim on their parents. Parents who do not take care of their kids are held responsible in God's Eternal Courts. Parents who trivialize their children or abuse their children are breaking sacred commandments. The result of this irresponsibility is a punishment that will exceed any punishment any court in the United States can ever exact.

Children are not the responsibility of the government. Where in any constitution does it say that the government claims responsibility for the children? If such a thing were to exist, it would conflict with the divine responsibility that rests on the shoulders of the parents. After all, if parents believe that government has more responsibility over their children than themselves, they will neglect their own responsibility, instead relying on the government.

We see this today. How many parents expect the government to fully fund the eight hours of babysitting we call education? How many parents seem uninterested in the events in the lives of their children, and instead focus more on obtaining more wealth to buy boats and fancy cars? Who do they think is raising their children? Unanimously, they feel that government is somehow responsible.

There is a commandment found in the Bible. If a child is raised, and he grows up to be disobedient and disrespectful, the parents are commanded to execute their child with stoning. This kind of law reinforces the concept that parents, not the government, is ultimately responsible for their children. Any defects in the child's nature rests in the hands of the parents, and they are required to exact God's judgment on those children who chose to do evil.

We must remove government as a "second parent". We must restore the divine order and give the ultimate responsibility over their children. Let the government spend nothing on children, and let it have no accountability.

When we see cases of abuse or neglect, let us ask, "What punishment should the government exact upon the parents?" rather than "What should the government do to fix the problem?" Government is not responsible for our children. We are. We should be held accountable for our mistakes, not the government.

Next time you hear, "The government should do something for our children", you can respond, "No, the parents should do that for their children. If they don't, we should punish the parents. Government is not the parent, nor should it ever be."

Recent politics are revealing that once again, Rush is right.

Rush predicted that as the liberals lose power, they will start behaving like lunatics. This is true.

Observe the California recall election. Observe what a liberal -- Governor Gray Davis -- is doing as he watches his power slip through his fingers.

He starts off first pretending that the people of California wants him as governor. I'm sorry, that's just not true. The people of California want him removed from office.

He then pretends that the recall effort was the result of rich, right-wing Republicans putting their minds together in a conspiracy. Governor, 30% - 40% of the 1.6 million people who signed the recall initiative were registered Democrats. They only needed something like 800,000 signatures to succeed, so a Democrat could've pushed this thing through with only a little help from the Republicans. As far as rich Republicans, the funding for the recall effort was mostly provided by hundreds of middle-class families who spared a couple of bucks to put the state government back on track. You'll note that most super-rich people are actually Democrats, not Republicans, so the myth of the "rich Republican" is mostly that -- a myth.

Then he pretends that somehow a citizen-led initiative is un-democratic. Maybe it is anti-republic, because it does not work through the duly elected representatives, but it is certainly not un-democratic. How can you call something where every legal resident of California is allowed one vote un-democratic? Only if you are a liar and a cheat.

He then claims that Republicans have been trying to steal elections because they cannot win. First off, Republicans are winning the elections. For the first time in most people's lifetimes, the Republicans gained control of the House of Representatives, the Senate, and the White House. Similar victories are recorded in record numbers throughout the state governments. If there is one thing the Republicans can't seem to be doing, it is losing elections.

But what about the effort to "steal" elections? He cites the impeachment of the rapist Bill Clinton, the disenfranchisement of the Florida voters, and the current effort to recall the governor of California. First, the impeachment was over the crime of perjury, AKA "lying", not sex. The courts found Bill Clinton in contempt of court, and revoked his lawyering license. It was the duty of the House to impeach him, because he committed a crime in a high place, or in other words "high crime". It was the duty of the Senate to remove him from office. However, this can hardly be considered an effort to "steal" an election. Should the Senate've removed the president, Al Gore would've been the new president. He is hardly a Republican.

And the Florida fiasco. Every recount revealed that Bush won the state. After significant investigation, a civil rights commission discovered that in fact, no one's right to vote had been infringed. The people who did have their ballots discarded were hundreds of deployed soldiers, and those who were responsible for it were the Democrats. So in reality, it was the Democrats who disenfranchised, and the Democrats who attempted to steal the electiong from Bush, who won both counts.

But the lies don't stop their. Blaming the Republicans, and in particular Bush, for the energy crisis was the frosting on the cake. What governor appoints a lobbyist on his council, despite the obvious conflict of interest? Why, Gray Davis. And then when the appointed lobbyist spends the state money by directing it to his employer, who is to blame for that? If you believe the lies of Davis, it would be Bush's fault.

But what about the Bush-Enron connection. If Enron made so much money from California, and Bush helped Enron, then it is Bush's fault, right? Unfortunately, the only relation between Bush and Enron is that they come from the same state. The truth is that many of the board members and leadership of Enron were staunch Gore supporters, and received help from time to time from the Clinton administration. Sure, they donated a few bucks to the Bush campaign, but they donated far more to the Gore campaign. And this somehow makes Enron a Bush company? I don't think so.

If only conservatives were allowed to make unsubstantiated claims like liberals can. Unfortunately, the double standard means that conservatives must be saint-like, or fear their name being spread across every headline. Take the case of the Republican member of congress that was speeding when he hit and killed the motorcyclist. That seems to be pasted all over the headlines. But mention "Ted Kennedy" and "Drunk Driving", and the cameras turn off and the ink dries up.

We don't have to lie to provide our ammunition. We can only cite the facts and still have more than enough to fight back.

- The Democratic Party has always stood in the way of civil rights for the minorities, while the Republican Party was founded on the principle of equality for all.

- It was democrats who charged a poll tax, predicated the right to vote on literacy, and shot minorities who attempted to vote anyway. The republicans sent federal troops to the South to protect the minorities and prevent the democrats from raping their women and murdering their children.

- It was democrats who got the state of California in the fiscal mess. Uncontrolled spending with the raising of taxes and increased regulations had two effects: A giant deficit, and a dead economy. The republicans were not in office, and had little to no control over the budget. However, during the Reagan years, there were surpluses, thanks to limited spending, decreased taxes, and reduced regulation. The effects of the Reagan governership was prosperity and a budget surplus.

- It was democrats who lie, cheat, and steal their way to get elected. Al Gore sued so that a third, fourth, and fifth recound should be performed. It was Al Gore who sued to desenfranchise the military voters of Florida. It was Al Gore who pushed the case all the way to the Supreme Court, which ruled that the laws of Florida are the laws of Florida, and there can only be one recount.

So this election cycle, be sure to elect strong, conservative republicans to positions of power. Democrats are racist, evil, and are trying to usurp power while destroying government.

I have grown a bit bored programming wise and I am going to commence writing a new 3d game. It will probably be a space combat game, since those don't involve animating models, which I don't have the patience for.

I will use OpenGL and SDL, so it should be very portable. In my last 3d game I didn't use models for the ships. Instead I got out the graph paper and drew them, put it on a coordinate system and then programmed the model in. Some of it I was just plotting points, other parts I generated with loops and trig funcitions. The asteroid were 3d fractals of my own creation. This wasn't too bad until I decided to add textures, which look ok, but not great.

Can anyone out there suggest a free or cheap 3d modelling program? All I want is to make ships and texture them and then be able to display them in the game using OpenGL. I haven't messed with stuff in a while so I am a bit out of the loop.

Also, once the program/file format are decided on, I will be accepting contributions for ships as well as scenarios.

Another limitation of my earlier game involves the controls. While I find them to be great (I made it work in a way that I like), most people think they suck. The joystick controls are especially bad, keyboard is okay. Unfortunately the controls are very limited from an architecture point of view, and fixing them would require a quite a bit of rewrite. I will be posting notices demos and betas here for people to try out and give feedback.

On to another topic. My next post will be my 1,000th /. post. Think of all the time wasted. I am trying to save it for an especially good or bad comment. It should hit either -1 or +5.

Finally, I purposely don't post much personal stuff in my journal, unlike some /.ers. Actually, I don't write much here at all. However this will be an exception. Our first child should be arriving in the next few weeks. It is a boy, but we don't have a name yet. We are so excited. I am sure that our lives will change forever, for the better. Hopefully we can keep up with all the changes and new responsibilities as well as get enough sleep.

I just went wardriving for the first time today. A Camry plus an iBook plus an Airport card plus iStumbler add up to one great little adventure!

This took place in the residential areas surrounding downtown Toronto Canada, and in the nearby city of Mississauga and I was finding hotspots at a rate of about 5 per minute.

Unsurprising Findings:
About 80% of APs were not encrypted.
About 70% of APs had default ssid settings, typically "Wireless" or "Linksys."
The AP at my own place did not show up since I have the ssid broadcast turned off.
Warchalking is a lost cause when it's raining.
Don't eat and wardrive. Your notebook gets all dirty.

Surprising Findings:

1. People who change the ssid use silly names. For example, "Dr. (name)'s Office" or "110WillowStreet." Yes, I actually saw an address somewhere in Mississauga, near Hurontario and Dundas I believe.

2. It's possible that the Toronto Stock Exchange has a hotspot running. I saw something called "TSENET" when driving near to the TSE. Who knows, it could have been anything.

3. Wardriving is a helluva good time!

I just got the call this afternoon.

After about 2 weeks of unemployment (which I am sure is very small compared to what many other slashdotters are experiencing) I will be starting work on monday for a IT tech / sysadmin type job. This should tide me over until I go back to class in Spetember. (I am a university student.)

[Btw, does anyone reading this know of any place where I could rent in the downtown Toronto area for not that much money? (I'm looking in the ~$450-500 range. I guess it doesn't hurt to ask ;-) ]

Anyway, the pay at this job is pretty low but I'm not complaining. The work seems quite interesting and, with hindsight, I performed pretty badly at some other interviews for high-paying jobs with great technology companies when I originally thought I had performed quite well. I guess I deserved it. Oh well, I am still learning.

Just got back from a Wednesday night showing of The Matrix Reloaded. I am at a conference and Schlumberger was kind enough to be handing out tickets at their booth. I am helping to staff the booth across from them and they gave me a ticket. Can't complain much about free tickets to a movie a day before it comes out. To top it off, we got the best seats in the house, five rows up (stadium seating), right in the middle of the row.

I didn't like it as much as the first one, probably because the first one seemed rather fresh and new. This one is of course bigger and badder, but maybe not as novel. There isn't the sense of discovery, or even much doubt that things will turn out alright, since you know that Neo is now all-powerful. Just the same he expresses his own doubts throughout, probably to convince the audience that there is real drama here.

The movie opens with a view of the workings of the matrix, which zooms outward fractally to finally reveal a clock. A timecard clock to be exact, leading to the question of are the people punching in machines themselves or part of a machine. I just wanted to hear, "We don't need no education!"

Ok, the rest of this might contain major spoilers, so beware. Don't read it if you haven't seen it yet. Of course who am I kidding, nobody reads this thing....

The movie features a constant discoure on determinism. Are we automatons, or do we have free will? The word "choice" comes up so often that you will get sick of it. I thought that the philosophy in the first movie was much more subtle. This one is pounding you over the head with it. Lots of symbolism too, I probably missed lots of stuff, but here is some of what I noticed.

The movie begins with Neo having a vision of the future, and like Minority Report, though he knows the future there isn't much he can do to stop it. In fact knowing this will cause him to take actions that will lead to the occurance event he is trying to prevent. Ohhh, what a paradox. One of the bad guys will be put in a similar situation, causing the very thing he is trying to prevent by his betrayl of his digital girlfriend who get revenge by seeking some lip time with Neo. The movie thrives on paradox by the way. Lots of stuff for theoretical CS people and math people to chew on with their philosophy buddies.

Speaking of choice, Agent Smith has become a virus and a "free agent", no longer taking orders from above. Interesting that the machine has free will but the humans keep wondering if they do. He is able to infect a human, though much of this subplot is left to be resolved in the next movie. Smith is certainly a fun character to watch, but he didn't strike me as being as fearsome or as hate-worthy as he was in the first movie.

The doors of the dwellings in Zion are all painted blood red. Wonder what that could mean... duh. Neo is treated by many as a saviour, though we don't get to see how he reacts to all this adulation other than a bit of him sneaking off for an overly long and explicit roll in the hay with Trinity. The scene is strikes me as somebody went to Rio for Carnaval and decided to include an homage to Orfeu Negro, just as Orson Wells got way to caught up in the drama of carnaval, this one goes on too long and is probably the main reason for the R rating, other than a bunch of F words in a particularly funny scene.

The fight scene with Smith is exciting, but the real show stopper was the highway chase scene. IT even looked like 101, though I know that they built their highway on the other side of the bay.

Several movie references were made. To name a few: Return of the Jedi when volunteers are asked for to go on a mission. Very similar to Han Solo & Co. volunteering for the Endor mission. Rumble in the Bronx where Jackie Chan takes the swipe at the hovercraft with the big sword. Superman is a really obvious one. If only Neo had flown around the matrix really fast to make matrix time go backwards... Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (and others) with the room full of weapons. More Minority Report (and Pushing Tin?) when we see the UIs that the Zion flight controllers use. Maybe some Battlestar Galactica with a council of old people (were there 12? I didn't count) controlling things. Also, we are promised some Robotech/Heavy Gear action with human piloted giant robots slinging big guns. I know I have seen corridors full of doors before, but I can't remember where. Similar to the ponds in The Magician's Nephew. The tagalong kid will probably be featured more in the next movie and seems like a plot element borrowed from about a million movies.

The movie makes another giant nod to gnosticism with the character of the keymaster. If only Rick Moranis (sp?) had played the part... "I am the keymaster, are you the gatekeeper?" Secret knowledge can open important doors.

Of course the movie comes back to the subject of CHOICE, with the Oracle's boyfriend (why do these machines/programs take on human geneders... that reminds me, lots of TRON references...) admitting that he has set up a system that embraces paradox and choice in order to survive. Godel anyone? The matrix is based on choice. This scene also makes reference to the idea of a parallel universive being created for each choice each of us makes, with all possibilities being explored in them. This concept is nicely illustrated with the TV monitors from the first movie. Speaking of the first movie, lots of references to the red pill/blue pill. The Oracle gives Neo a candy resembling a red pill. Neo is given a choice between two doors. Now in addition to green showing up in the trickling green code representation of the matrix there are blue characters as well.

I am looking forward to the next one, I enjoyed this one, but it wasn't The Empire Strikes Back to the original's Star Wars. More of Back to the Future 2 as compared to Back to the Future. Hopefully Revloutions won't be Return of the Jedi. I can just see little fuzzy "bugs in the matrix" coming to Neo's aid.

Well, it is late, and this is the end of my convuluted and poorly edited review.

Many people are puzzled at President Bush's political inaction. He is as popular as a president could be. Anything he puts his weight behind will get done.

He has two conservative judges waiting to be confirmed by the senate. Yet instead of mounting a huge campaign against the democrats who stand in the way, he stays out of the way and allows the senate to handle their own.

He has a tax-cut bill that is being chewed up and spit out. He could stand against those who oppose it, humiliate them and turn the public against them. He could puch his bill through untouched. But instead, he is quiet.

He has real political enemies in the United States. There are those who only want to see him impeached or worse. His response to these opponents? Silence.

Bush hand the eyes of the nation on him while he spoke from the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Anything he said would be accepted by the people. He was unstoppable.

His message? He declared that the war on terror is not over, that the terrorists would be pursued until they are all gone. He declared that dictatorships will be overturned and replaced with freedom. He declared freedom as critical as food, water, even air.

What is he doing?

He is being the President. He is above politics. He is saying that there are things a leader does, and there are things a leader doesn't do. Setting the tone, setting the moral grounds for all of our society's actions is his duty. Getting involved with petty political squabble is not.

Compare this with his predecessor, Bill Clinton. It seems everything Bill was, President Bush is not. Everything Bill was not, Bush is.

Could he be reengineering the entire political structure of the United States? Could he be starting a new era of politics, where moral authority is more important than political power? Could he be showing by example that government isn't supposed to be involved in endless arguments, but instead, to focus on the tasks at hand? And when tackling the tasks on hand, is he demonstrating by example, that rather than capitalize on the events of the day for your political benefit, you should instead do your duty and let the cards fall where they may?

If this is the new tone, I like it. Perhaps more of our politicians will understand it. Perhaps the bitterness and hatred that is so obvious will be toned down. And perhaps we will see more politicians willing to sacrifice their political goals for doing the right thing.