I realized recently, after leaving the Evil Empire, that I really am anti-M$. I mean, I'm a die-hard Mac freak, but after doing product activation for 6 months, I don't hate the customers (well, I don't hate most of them), I just hate the company. Not just the detached hate we feel for, say, Bill O'Reilly, but a seething, boiling-over hate.

I can't believe the shit they do. And I'm not talking unpatched bugs, exploits, etc, I'm talking basic customer service. We (well, you, maybe) pay them obscene sums of money, and just get jerked around. I realize a lot of complaints about them are just FUD, but I *know* customers fall through the cracks. And on one hand, I know it's inevitable with 10 zillion customers, but a company with so much $$$ should be able to afford, at least, a 'customers-who-fall-thru-the-cracks' department, staffed with smart, knowledgable people. Navigating 'customer service' is as bad or worse than dealing with the government 'customer service'. That's sad.

What lead me to this rant was my comment I posted today, on the spur of the moment, in sympathy and sorrow. I realize that I was working for an outsourcer, and strict quality controls have to be used (?) because outsourcers hire people in small towns for low pay, but now that I'm adjusting to my new job for a large, but still very local ISP, I'm having difficulty, because of what got drilled into me at that outsourcer for 'quality'. Tightly controlled scripts on how to answer the phone, put someone on hold, take someone off hold, answer questions, and respond to errors. Deviations were not OK. At all. Now, I got a *little* leeway, because I was acting as a 'supervisor', but the man-on-the-floor does not. And it's really hard to let go of that. I'm driving people in training with me crazy, asking, 'Uh, but *how* do we answer the phones? What do we say when we put them on hold?' and having them respond 'Uh, just say something nice about where they're calling and your name, we don't really care how you take them off hold, what a weird question...' I went from controlled to hang-loose, and it's driving me nuts. I know how 7 of 9 felt when they yanked her from the Borg. You get so used to being squashed, you forget how to think normally.

Now that I'm realizing all of this, it makes me sad. And angry. And, well, happy, of course, because I don't work there anymore. I got the hell out of that damn town. I'm not squashed anymore. Now *that's* a good feeling.

I used to feel sorry for people who get escalated to me. (I handle supervisor calls for a large software company that everyone hates, in their product activation department.) I mean, I really do feel for people who are told by CompuCrap or WorstBuy that they can install (this operating system) on 17 computers in their home, when, in reality, it's WRITTEN ON THE BOX that it's only for 1 computer. (But I wish they would go take it out on the salesperson that told them that, not me or my agents.) And I feel like a lot of crap when a customer is misinformed or treated badly by Tech Support (often) or by one of my own agents (rarely, but it happens). But after a call I recently took, I don't feel too bad about people complaining about bad service from us.

I took my first call of the day. It was (office suite application) activation, no big deal. I activated him for the first time, he whined about what a hassle it was to have to call in every time you reinstall (cry me a river, but we handle 85-90% of our calls in under a minute of hold time, and well under 3 minutes on the phone). I told him, that yep, generally you do have to call if you need to reactivate, he cussed and hung up. Thank you for calling (software company). I took a couple more calls, and then an (office suite application) came in. The 'gentleman' said, 'I want to speak to your supervisor!'. Well, I could say that I was the highest supervisor on the floor, but hey, we're supposed to humor people, so I ask if I can help him, and he replies that 'I was just treated very rudely and hung up on by someone there!' I apologize, thinking, gee, what a mean agent, dammit, and transfer him to my supervisor. My supervisor sits kitty-corner from me in the cube farm, and I hear him handle this call, and activate the guy. After the call, he asks me what happened, and I tell him that he just called, wanted a supervisor, blah blah blah. Supervisor asks me if I activated the guy, I say, no, he just wanted a supervisor. He asks me if I recognized the guy's voice, and alarms start going off in my head...yep, it was that bastard. He wrote the activation number down wrong, and had to call back (of course, we TELL you to type it directly in to the computer, but who listens to the voice on the phone?) and wanted to whine about MY service. I don't know what your definition of 'hanging up' on someone is, but I rarely use the release button, if for no other reason than it's fun to hear people when they don't hang the phone up right bitching in the background about how much (software company) sucks. (If you don't like it, don't use it!! Then again, I smile every time some pissed off person goes, 'Fuck this! I'm switching to Linux!'.)

So, thanks to that guy, I now figure that stories of mistreatment by agents are grossly exaggerated. We have such a victim culture, that people just want to be fawned over by a 'supervisor' who, in reality, is probably just the maligned agents neighbor, because our supervisors are too busy to actually handle supervisor calls. So, give me your worst. I don't feel sorry for you anymore. But please, quit shooting the messenger! If you don't like it, DON'T USE IT!. Go with Linux. Use our older operating systems! Buy a Mac, make me happy! But honestly, all we do is register an anonymous complaint called 'Customer dissatisfied with (company)'s policies'. Nothing else. There's no room in the complaint tool for notes, we can't even to mention which software you were so pissed about. You can bitch at me, my agents, my supervisors, but NOTHING will change unless YOU do something.

I have 4 days left at this job. After the supervisor call I took yesterday, it feels like forever. I was so frustrated, I cried. The guy bought an OEM version of (operating system), which, in addition to only being allowed on one computer, it has to stay on the computer it came on. No moving it on and off of computers. He didn't know that, didn't receive a EULA from the OEM. Eventually (after about 20 minutes of back and forth about how he is 'leasing' software and was all pissed about that) he wanted a refund. I told him how to return software. You need a sales receipt. He said that his receipt didn't show how much the OS itself was. I told him that he needed to contact the OEM to find out how much he paid for it. He wanted someone at (Software Company) to look it up. I mean, if you buy a car from a dealer, and want to find out how much the seat covers cost, you don't go bitch to the factory that built it, you go back to the dealer you bought it from. Well, when you're self-righteous and pissed off, I guess that' s not the right answer. But I refuse to hang up on people unless they're cussing directly at me (cuss about your computer, the company all you want, just leave me out of it), so I went around and around with this guy until he finally hung up. Then, out of pure frustration, I started crying. I couldn't help it. I didn't feel one bit bad, or sorry for this guy, and I hated myself for crying for some guy on a rant, but it just had to come out.

The best part of the call, though? I put him on mute to take a drink of water or something, and it sounded (to him) like someone was hanging up. He accused me of hanging up on him, then said the call was probably being recorded, which I concurred with, and he wanted to speak to the person listening. I said, well, a machine does the recording, and people listen to it at their leisure. He wanted me to find *someone* else to bitch at, and I responded that I was the highest and only supervisor on the floor (which was technically true). I offered to get the machine for him...but then he just started going off again. At least it gave me a smile :)

I'm mostly going to whine about my job here.