Interesting. You've provoked a response from me, a theoretical hobbyist. :-)
Matter reaching a black hole: by the laws of relativity, which I only know in a casual sense, the matter should become ever close to the event horizon, where all the disassembly and modification will occur. As the matter hits the speed of light, either while orbiting or sinking through the event horizon, the relativistic effects mean that the matter will require an infinite amount of time to change _internally_ -- but externally, from our view, it reaches the speed of light and proceeds into the block hole.
So basically, whatever particle that's entered the event horizon or met the speed of light just before it will not change after it's inside the black hole. But at that point it's pure energy, anyway -- what happens at this matter -> energy conversion stage, who knows. (Does the energy contain a complete snapshot to be able to return to exactly the same state of matter should it be slowed down?) The more interesting result here, I think, is that a black hole is made of dense _energy_, not matter. At least, it was converted to energy at the event horizon and perhaps mashed back to matter at the singularity. Probably a quasi big bang soup-like-state, if anything.
Second, gravitons escaping: I came across an article recently, which I can't find now. It went over subatomic particles, how they interact, what they interact with, etc. Photons are force-carriers that do not interact with other photons. But photons _do_ interact with electrons and other subatomic particles and force carriers. Gravity interacts with basically everything, including the Higgs and photons. It's probable that gravitons do not interact with gravitons, and so there is nothing restricting gravity from exiting a black hole.
More interestingly, if gravitons interact with everything _except_ gravitons, then how are gravitons not blocked after they interact with _one_ thing, such as how we can put up basically anything as a wall against photons? The denser the item, the more photons are blocked. I believe this would apply to anything -- like with neutrinos, put a denser block, and you capture more of them. Except with gravity. It seems to hit the object, interact, and keep on going. (Maybe they just interact far more weakly than any known neutrino, and so many, many, MANY interact, and many magnitudes of order more make it through the object. Perhaps we _could_ place a wall against gravitons. I fear the resultant energy exerted on such a wall.)
SINCE gravitons interact with the matter _and_ energy in the black hole, it would seem the gravity, too, should never be able to escape -- but it does. But then, it feels like the gravity holding a planet together should interact with the planet, and never escape. But it does. Something feels wrong with the graviton.
My personal conundrums: the LHC creators said that any black holes created by the LHC would instantly evaporate. How? If nothing can escape a black hole, then the only energy that can be emitted from a block hole is the gravitons. But how can you get so many gravitons from even a small black hole that it will dissipate in a short time? It sems like even for infintessimally small black holes, it would remain around long enough to interact with _something_ -- and if it interacts with _anything_, then it has that much longer to achieve what it already has -- interaction with something else. Clearly this did not happen, which to me would suggest that there are no black holes. But how can they say that the black holes would evaporate?