They didn't used to

Not sure iOS is any less broken - they don't ask you about some things, they just share them anyway. As soon as I got an iPhone and installed the LinkedIn app, linked in started asking me if I wanted to connect to people/organizations that I haven't had anything to do with in years - but they happened to be in my contact list on the phone. Hmmmm.....

Are YOU fucking stupid? Or is your sarcasm detector just frozen today?

I find it interesting that the guy figures out a good way to meet compatible women, and the most noteworthy part to slashdotters is what computer language he used to do it. No wonder the slashdot crowd still has nothing better to do than surf the web!

Resurrect your old OKCupid profile and start going on dates. Make it a point to come home with lipstick kisses, or smelling of perfume, or with your shirt misbuttoned. She'll take the hint.

Improving detection by 68% != Reducing fraud by 68%

Imagine that previous methods caught 10% of the fraudulent accounts. New tech improves that to 16.8%. It's a 68% improvement in the fraud detection rate, but only a 6.8% "slashing" of the fraudulent accounts.

(And 5% false positives is pretty horrific)

Except music, if you're an audiophile who prefers vinyl.

I don't care one way or the other about the audio, but I'm a true hipster videophile, and I insist on watching everything on VHS. It's hard to describe, but VHS gives a warmer, softer, smoother picture without all those annoying dots distracting you from the filmmaker's true vision.

And Nickelback?

A day without analogies would be like.... ummm...

Boy are they in for some disappointment...

Seriously? Most people won't even bother to fill out your surveys, and the few that do will probably "grade on the curve(s)" and give the hottest women the benefit of the doubt, at the expense of the those who are "plainly" more knowledgeable. You'd probably get lots of technical people voted out and even more bimbos voted in.

Analogies are like glass: if you push them too far, they break.

Worse yet, it's going to need a web site of its own: http://www.lunarcolony.gov/

Not if the volcano blows any time soon!

I've been meaning to start drinking heavily, and this is the perfect time: with any luck at all, I'll already be dead when the volcano blows! Take that, fate - I refuse to play by your rules!