Gods, is Roblimo unfunny.

Okay, so he stopped using Windows in 1998. Fine. I know he thinks that makes him a "rebel" and an "iconoclast", or whatever rock-star quality he thinks lives in a OS CD--but really, it just makes him a tool. After all, Macintosh users have been Windows-free since 1984. Welcome to the party, Mr. Limo! And then he writes an entire article about "coming back" to Windows.

Not only did he stop using Windows in 1998, he froze his sense of humor right about that time as well.

Tedious jabs at Micro$oft or Bill Gate$, or how clunky Windows is--well, it's played. Played like a Barry White album at a 40-year-old bachelor's pad. Leaving aside the factual and/or stupid errors in the article, the rest reads like a Freshman level creative writing exercise. Ooh, Mr. Limo, your stunning use of satire, she is so witty! What's that you say? Windows isn't like SuSE? LoLz!!!!!1

Eat a dick. Using Linux doesn't make you better, it doesn't make you smarter, and it certainly doesn't help you to pick up the chicks. Hey, guess what--I haven't used Linux since 1999! I've been pure BSD and Macintosh, ever since my RedHat box was rooted through the (default installed) wuftpd. oH mY gOd LiNuKs Is TeH sUcK!!!!!!111 Can I get a "hell yeah" from the boyz down wit the daemon and those fine, fine BSD bitches!

Nothing is quite so annoying as the back-patting that mid-level Linux nerds do to themselves. Higher geeks can specifically point to reasons why a Free unix serves their needs. It's choirboys and fucktards who hang out at the Linux section of CompUSA, hoping passersby will notice how l33t they are that think an operating system will change the fact that they're dateless and lonely at 30.

Bah. Back to your cave, troll. If this is what OSDN pays Roblimo for, I'd like to apply for the position of Official Curmudgeon. I can probably get a thousand responses an hour from pale, friendless virgins who huddle around their Gentoo box like it's a pocket pussy, just by airing the truth: if you judge yourself or anyone else by the OS they use, then you're a slaptarded spockhole who should be phased out with a woodchipper. Calling Mr. Limo!

I've just gotten off the phone with Rusty from kuro5hin dot org and he's got a proposal on the table for Wagner Consulting LLC., to come in and completely rewrite the internal database code as well as most of the backend for kuro5hin!

He's got to check with his accountants first as the cost will likely be in 6 figures but I don't think you can put a price on quality code so this shouldn't be any problem!! Alas! fear not, gentle reader, Kuro5hin will be fixed and running faster than a drunken school girl at the prom in a matter of a few weeks!!

Warmest regards
--Jack

Lots of advice for "C&C", I thought. Of course, in a perfect world, C&C is the best option, so advising others to do so would be smart.

So why don't we have C&C Free software? Oh, a few things here and there are C&C, but most of the Free software world (as I see it) is made up of Q&D Perl atrocities, or worse.

There must be 100 different "web-forum" software packages, all of them Q&D (and solving the wrong problems, too). The few that are interesting (Scoop, Slashdot) are best used in very specific applications, but largely are incomplete (or bad) copies of USENET. Why hasn't somebody made a C&C web-forum software? Because, nobody wants to work on C&C projects. They're slow to start, slow to finish, and the payoff is just as questionable as a Q&D project, but it takes longer.

C&C is not sexy. Q&D is. Which is why the Internet is slowing grinding to a halt, as nobody seems to be able to do anything terribly useful with it because nobody wants to do it right.

Hello gentle friends,

I've just returned yesterday after spending a month lounging in the South of France, sallying from one nude beach to the next whilst partaking in only the best French wines known to mankind. First, I want to say that the French women are Ohhhh Lala!! And secondly I want to say that the french food is Ohhh lala!! Sadly I've burned through my Q1 profits and need to get back to work, however I should have some time for slashdot until the next contract gets ironed out.

I'm looking forward to some stimulating conversation.

Warmest regards,
--Jack

Know what? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was pretty good. It did not disappoint, anyway: it was just like the other Harry Potter books.

But, sometimes I get the feeling that J.K. Rowling has Harry do things totally randomly, just so the plot can carry on. I'm not bent out of shape on this issue, but a few times during the book, I'm wondering, "Jeez, this isn't the first time something of this magnitude has happened, and Harry went to Dumbledore then--why doesn't he go now?" I'll buy rebellion, a bit, but not for the big things. Harry's all concerned at the beginning because Voldemort's running lose, and when he's experiencing dreams where he's sharing thoughts with Voldemort, he decides to be rebellious?

Okay, 10 for 10 on Griffyndor-level bravery, but 10 for 10 on Brainless Gittery as well. And, I didn't buy it.

And I think I've got the formula down: Harry goes to school. Harry finds/does/is something bad. Harry runs to Ron and Hermione to talk it over. They give stupid and/or good advice. Harry ignores the advice, something bad happens, something good happens, Harry talks it all over with Dumbledore, school ends.

Finally, I was totally unimpressed with the ending. After pages of buildup, we get an exposition that any child older than 9 figured out by the end of Book One? Harry Potter vs. Voldemort. Big Shocker, Film at Eleven! Okay, the niggly details were appreciated, but hardly worth the effort. The reason for sending Harry back to Privet was kind of lame, and Dumbledore's Big Failure was about as shocking as petting the cat. I was hoping for something of Darth Vader Is Your Father-level, but it was not to be.

However, fifty points to Gryffindor for the extra Fred and George Weasley coverage! And I dig the fact that school-age kids around the world are getting a E-Z-View Primer on How Government Is Not Your Friend, and You Can't Depend On The Media To Tell You Everything. Woo!

Hah. Adobe's page on pcpreferred.html is a load of hooey.

First, as many pointed out, the graphs are pathetically wrong.

Second, it's comparing some funny stuff. Okay, there's no real competition to AfterEffects, which this review relies heavily on, but Premiere is having it's lunch eaten by iMovie and FinalCut Pro. I'd like to see a comparison between the Apple products and Premiere--how fast to go from raw footage to final edit? How fast are basic rendered dissolves between shots? That would be interesting.

These graphs only prove that PCs make good AfterEffects boxes, and only at the rendering stage. It's good to know that you can save 4 minutes when you're rendering, but if you can put the project together 3 hours faster on a Mac, then the rendering time becomes a rounding error.

So, whatever. Adobe's being a dick. This is a new corporate strategy (maybe they've been talking to Quark?), but I don't think it's a good long-term one.

* Moderation of "How does commercial Free Software work? 9:21 17 January 2003
* Moderation of "How does commercial Free Software work?" 9:21 17 January 2003
* Moderation of "question" 9:22 17 January 2003
* Moderation of "what the heck?" 9:22 17 January 2003
* Moderation of "IN SOVIET RUSSIA..." 9:22 17 January 2003
* Moderation of "oh please" 9:22 17 January 2003
* Moderation of "whatever" 9:25 17 January 2003

Now I can't post anonymously. Fuckers.

I've been getting numerous requests from people to come and speak at their organization or school. I'm very sorry but at this time my schedule does not allow me to partake in any public speaking so please do not email with any more requests. Money is not the issue here so offering me more money will not be a consideration.

If this should change I will post a note here or on my website.

Warmest regards,
--Jack Wagner

I don't know why I keep dating these losers who are too immature and don't know how to treat a woman like she deserves to be treated. My friends tell me I date based upon looks only and that's what happens when you do that so maybe it's time to take a hard look at myself and see if there's any truth to that.

Be that as it may be, I'm not going to jump back into another relationship right away, I think I'mm going to take things as they come and look for some good clean non-commital fun from a bunch of different guys for a while. I need to sow my wild oats before I even think about settling down.

--Rosie

Hello Friends!!

I've just gotten back from an undisclosed location overseas helping a very high-profile client with some cutting edge data mining techniques.

All I can say is: Wow. This was without a doubt the best gig in the history of Wagner Consulting LLC and it all started from my client contacting me based upon an insightful post I made on Slashdot.

I'm under NDA for a year but I can talk about the project in generalities and look forward to sharing my new knowledge with you here as the topic merits!!

Warmest regards,
--Jack

Website still not up, obviously. I've just been too busy partying and preparing for teh holiday and whatnot.

So I noticed that we can now add AIM/ICQ/Jabbar IDs to our user info. Hopefully this will help me meet new friends. Also, there is a space for an "ical" calendar...anyone know what that is? I tried googling, and it's just a bunch of Mac stuff. Can I make an ical calendar on teh Lunix? TIA.

And what's up with Slashdot lately? Server troubles, lots of dupe and hoax stories, IN SOVIET RUSSIA jokes...have the trolls won this round? If it gets much worse, I may have to seek greener pastures.

My website is down. Many apologies. Assuming there are no more Apache holes found in the next week or so, it should be up again soon, at a different address. It's also time for an influx of new content, though Christ only knows when I'll get around to making some. Maybe I can archive links to a few of my best Slashdot comments! Though I only kept a couple. So whatever.

Winter's coming...snow predicted for tonight, and the sky has already turn'd a threatening gray, the gray of wise men and forgotten dreams, the birds outside my window, her eyes...

The days are like dominoes or tequila shots. Set 'em up, knock 'em down, one after another, each easier then the last. If you play it right, you're drunk on life, your hard work pays off as the onlookers clap appreciatively. You fuck up and you puke all over your shoes and have to pick the fallen days up and eye the standing ones angrily, as your audience disperses in clouds of small talk.

Who gives a ripe shit?

Great jumping horny toads, it's not like a simple journal isn't rat-simple to program. I use nothing more complicated than Emacs (which, I grant, is pretty complicated), but I just use it to write an HTML file.

Lordy, these kids with their fancy-ass do-funnies and object-oriented crap-throwers.

I have had Excellent karma for some time now. Obviously, I've yet to retire. I think I'll hang around a little longer. This place is just starting to get interesting, what with zoo-dot-pee-ell and such.

There is something missing in my life. Just the other day I was thinking, "how does the Mad Sniper relate to nine-eleven?" and I had no idea. I didn't even think about the connection to the Columbine shooting. Jon Katz, why have you forsaken us?

Wagner Consulting has already reached our 2002 fincancial goals so I'm taking a couple months off from work and thusly will have more time to post to slashdot. I'm looing forward to making some new friends and business contacts here.

If you are looking for a top flight consultant email me for a quote.

Warmest Regards,
--Jack