The lights are on, but noorbodies home?

Reminds me of an old joke (it's kind of a shaggy dog story, so apologies in advance):

The Kremlin is getting reports that theft is happening at one of their factories. Unfortunately, it is so disorganized, they aren't even sure what is being stolen, let alone who is taking the State's property. They decide to send some KGB men to the factory to find and punish the thief.

One of the KGB narrows it down to a couple of suspects. His prime suspect is a truck driver. Each day the truck driver goes by the front gate and the KGB guard stops him and searches the truck. Day after day, week after week. Nothing can be found.

The KGB man is getting very frustrated, but continues the daily searches. The truck driver always stands to the side and watches the KGB man search the truck, looking completely at east. (You see, the KGB man knows that the truck driver should be nervous. In Soviet Russia, the innocent are always nervous).

Anyways, this continues for months. Finally, the KGB man can't take it anymore. He pulls the truck driver aside and says, "Look, Comrade. I know you are the thief. I know you are stealing from Mother Russia. But for the life of me, I can't prove it. So I will make you a deal. You tell me what you are stealing and how you are getting away with it, and I will look the other way."

The truck driver thinks about it for a moment, he knows he probably shouldn't agree, but this is a joke, so he has to, and says, "Comrade KGB man, it is very simple. I am stealing the trucks."

I'd be more worried about the kitten's nails than mine.

I'd rather it was $1 per email. That might cut down on all those forwarded chain emails my relatives keep sending me.

Dear Polizia,
You're a bunch of idiots.

Thanks,
-The Internet