so they can flee...
Have you ever seen a fleeing sea cucumber? That must be SOME organ that they jetison if it keeps a predator busy for that long...
I would add one important piece of advice though: Remember That You Will Both Screw Up. In any close relationship, you will inevitably end up hurting one another from time to time; sometimes in everyday little ways, sometimes in almighty one-off fuck-ups. Patience and forgiveness from both parties are the only medicine for such ills, and when applied liberally and sincerely, the relationship will often be stronger after the fuck-up than before.
I'll agree to this completely. Just make sure the almighty one-offs are one-offs. Even being honest and continually apologizing can't compensate for continually screwing up in the same way. It's important to recognize that successful marriages require hard work and sacrifice (like pausing - or better yet, turning off when the kids are screaming).
Also, like writing code, you don't really get to see the big picture and benefits (apart from the sex) until a lot has been written. You'll get small opportunities to look back at what's there and be satisfied but it takes years of ups and downs (see parent) to establish the deeper, stronger benefits of your partnership
Final comment, the statement in here about marriage is a relationship, not a method is mostly true. If you're sincerely trying to improve things by using methods that you discuss with your wife then you're working together (see previous team post). This is a good thing to set ground rules and habits. But yeah...honesty, teamwork, and forgiveness go a long way...even for geeks.
"Money is the root of all money." -- the moving finger
