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Comment Re:Agreed? (Score 1) 124

Actually I think damages were 40000d6, for which a final roll of $125000 is slightly below statistical expectation. In order to count the sheer number of dice, a roller rink had to temporarily be rented out as bean counters dumped the entire truckload of all 40K dice.

That's so many six sided dice, WotC has announced plans to buy out Chessex.

In other litigation news, GW is suing WotC for the usage of the term, "40K dice".

Hardware Hacking

How To Play Poker With Your Rock Band Guitar 121

An anonymous reader writes 'Sean Lind over at PokerListings has written a really interesting piece on how to configure Rock Band (or Guitar Hero) instruments to use them as controllers for playing online poker. The instructions given in his how-to could really be used to configure the instruments for any game.' Or how about a genuine chording keyboard?
Government

Senator Applauds Pirate Bay Trial, Chides Canada 526

eldavojohn writes "Republican Senator Orrin Hatch spoke Tuesday at the World Copyright Summit in Washington DC and hailed the Pirate Bay guilty verdict as an important victory. He expressed severe disappointment in Canada for showing up on our watch list for piracy next to China and Russia. Senator Hatch also said, 'In fact, one study reports that each year, copyright piracy from motion pictures, sound recordings, business and entertainment software, and video games costs the US economy $58 billion in total output, costs American workers 373,375 jobs and $16.3 billion in earnings, and costs federal, state, and local governments $2.6 billion in tax revenue. During this time of economic turmoil, we must ensure that all copyrighted works, both here and abroad, are protected from online theft and traditional physical piracy. After all, US copyright-based industries continue to be one of America's largest and fastest-growing economic sectors.' GamePolitics notes that for his 2006 campaign, Hatch was rented for $7,000 by the RIAA and also got on his knees for $12,640 from the MPAA."

Comment Re:I have to wonder (Score 1) 369

Maybe it's the caliber of the government IT workers...

Military Official: Davis, I need you to wipe every hard drive in this container.

Minimum Wage IT Contractor: Okay. [Opens a pack of lemon-scented WetNaps and starts wiping the outside of the hard drives.] Hard drives wiped, sir.

Officer: Then I need you to write "10101010" repeatedly on them, until there's no more space!

MWITC: Okay. [Pulls out Sharpie and draws alternating dashes and circles on the enclosure until there's no more place to put any.] Done, sir.

Officer: Good. Sign off on this ticket, and we're ready to liquidate them on Ebay!

Image

Cutting Steel With Flaming Bacon Weapons Screenshot-sm 73

Ed Pegg writes "Theo Gray demonstrates the Bacon Lance, a flaming meatsword that can cut through steel. Yes, with some ordinary bacon, and some pure oxygen, it's possible to cut through security doors. Form the article, 'I recently committed myself to the goal, before the weekend was out, of creating a device entirely from bacon and using it to cut a steel pan in half. My initial attempts were failures, but I knew success was within reach when I was able to ignite and melt the pan using seven beef sticks and a cucumber.' This comes out right after his profusely illustrated book of science experiments, Mad Science."

Comment Re:"limited mass production" (Score 4, Funny) 128

> far stronger than I need to be for day to day life as an IT professional!

Your work environment will adapt.

Trac ticket 14849
Reported by: Operations Manager
Owned by: Somersault
Priority: Major
Description: Hey, we just got eight full racks of blade servers downstairs. Please bring them up to the fifth floor before lunch. There's also a three-ton rack cooler that needs to be installed.

Trac ticket 14936
Reported by: Operations Manager
Owned by: Somersault
Priority: Major
Description: Our next truckload of routers is here. I need them in the NOC. This time, DO NOT bring the truck. Just the routers.

Trac ticket 15186
Reported by: Office Manager
Owned by: Somersault
Priority: Major
Description: Somersault, would you be a dear and open the jar of peanut butter in the kitchen fridge? No one else in the office can even budge it, but you with your exo-suit and all... Thanks.

Comment Count *in* sheep? (Score 2, Funny) 599

"Umm, Officer, I know what this looks like, but really, I'm trying option number six in today's Slashdot poll..."

Or better yet...

"Hey Paul, are you done with my taxes yet...? Oh god! Do you have to do *that* when you're filing my return?!"

Comment Network cables (Score 5, Funny) 1032

Don't get just one cat. Get more than one. Get several.

You're right - Cat 1 and Cat 2 will probably do nothing. Most people won't even think they exist. Cat 3 will do most of the work, but won't harrass rats beyond 100 meters. Cat 4 needs motivation - give it a small token, like a ring.

Cat 5 can be faster than Cat 3, but like Cat 3, speed and response begin to attenuate after 100 meters. They start dropping packets, which should promptly be buried in the litter box. In the event that rodents bite back, you should consider shielding Cat 5.

Cat 6 is extremely fast with very little latency, but inflexible and difficult to work with. I use them in my fruit pantry, where rats ate "twisted pears"

Comment Re:Amazing Creature! (Score 1) 67

We like to think if as birth-barfing. The really nasty part is when it gets near the end... Ever drag your own anus down the length of your tongue? It's not pleasant.

Yours truly,
Self-Birthing Snake

Businesses

How To Create More Jobs 368

TechDirt is spotlighting a call by Michael S. Malone, a columnist for ABCNews.com, for letting Silicon Valley create jobs once more. Malone argues that Sarbanes-Oxley and other attempts at accounting reform have done little to prevent fraud, but in fact have managed to kill off an entrepreneurship-venture capital-IPO cycle, centered in Silicon Valley, that has taken 30 years to nourish. Here's TechDirt: "...it's time to roll back SarbOx and other accounting rules that have acted more for theatrical purposes rather than any legitimate reason. Basically, all they've done is create new reporting requirements that do little to nothing to either prevent fraud or clarify a company's actual financial position (its intended purpose). I'm all for radical transparency in financial info, but that's not what has been done. Instead, we've made it burdensome to actually grow a company — and that doesn't help create jobs. It helps kill them."

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