Hobbit is an old dialect word for pixie, so there's no need to change the name.

MacDonalds did try to sue a butcher in Scotland once. I think he could show prior art.

Although it would only have the battery life of a normal laptop rather than a modern tablet.

A few years ago I got a Compaq TC1000 from eBay. It ran linux flawlessly, although it needed the proprietary nvidia driver to get screen rotation. This was long before the iPad, the current tablet craze or much thought of special operating systems for tablets (ok, it came with a special mobile edition of windows, but their wasn't much difference). Now the TC1000 is low power for today's needs but I'm sure there must be lots of tablets out there with a higher spec that people are offloading because they want an iPad or equivalent. They may not have capacitive touch-screens but otherwise would probably be ideal for you.

If it's really embarrassingly parallel, just run it on whatever CPUs you have hanging about or can scrounge cheaply. As long as the application is written portably they don't even need to be the same architecture or operating system, although that would help with deployment. The only reason to try to scrunch everything in one box would be if you have space limitations.