>> My fiancee takes the stance that it's easier for men since we don't have to go through as much effort. Jewelry, shoes, bras, lingerie, worrying about safety and a host of other variables make it "easier" for men to date and catch a partner. When we started dating, I threw a bag in my truck and drove six hours to her house on a whim on her invite, if it hadn't worked out I'd have bailed to my buddy's house. Not that simple for a woman in her view.
I kind of feel like disagreeing with your fiancée there.
I'm a male-to-female transsexual... So I got to experience grooming myself both as a man and a woman. I can get dressed up in nice clothes, makeup, etc. in about an hour, less if I'm in a rush, and that's largely because I'm still not that good at makeup and it takes me a long time. So, I put in one hour of work, and I make heads turn, get whistled at, get hit on by tons of men at nightclubs. Arguably if I was better at makeup, I could do this in 30 mins. Putting on a bra, I can tell you, isn't very difficult. Jewelry? takes seconds to put on. Same thing for high heels. I don't find them very comfortable, but just t go out for an evening dancing, it's not a problem. I take a cab to and from the club, also mostly resolves the safety issue (and I don't usually go alone). Lingerie? I try to wear pretty underthings, but I think most men won't pick a girl based on whether or not she wears exotic lingerie in bed.
Now, grooming yourself as a man takes *some* time too. You also have to pick clothes you think are fashionable. You might also want to do something with your hair. Some men also wear jewelry. Not to mention, being considered a sexy woman is largely a matter of restricting the amount of food you eat. Being considered a sexy man (enough to distinguish yourself from the others) can require hours and hours working out at the gym. And then... Men often have to pay for women whenever doing an activity that requires paying, and do pretty demanding things for them. You just told us you drove *SIX HOURS* on a whim to date this girl? That means you were spending something around 33% of your awake time that day just for the privilege to see her, not to mention the gas. Do you think it took her more than an hour to make herself pretty?
In terms of dating, I think men clearly have to put in more effort. They are expected to do most of the courting, to pay for the girl, to come get her at home, to call her back, to compliment her, to think of interesting activities, etc. In terms of trying to just have casual sex with people, I think the asymmetry is even worse. Like I said, I'm a transsexual, so I have to be extra careful. When I go to nightclubs, I never leave with someone I didn't go to the club with. But, if I were a more anatomically standard girl, and I wanted to get laid with men, I could conceivably leave with a different guy each time, almost 100% success rate. I don't even think I'd have to spend more than an hour looking for someone. Guys? If they want to find a girl to get laid with at a nightclub, they have to come back over and over. I don't know what their success rate is, but it's probably no better than 25% of the time.