Carbon footprint/fossil fuel consumption is not the only reason I prefer the city (yes, there's waste there too -- the price of dirty, unsustainable energy needs to increase to motivate reduction in *all* sources of waste to manageable levels), and not all cities are the way you describe. There is a middle ground to be had between Levittown and Manhattan.
How does needing to drive for miles at 80 MPH just to get groceries or go to work make my life better? How do the suburbs magically make driving in snow easier? If I live in the city and don't need to keep a car around permanently, I can rent one for occasional trips to the suburbs/country.
I used to live in a duplex in Pittsburgh. I could walk to the grocery store and other local retail attractions -- or I could drive, it wasn't a problem. Parking was a minor nuisance compared to suburbia, but not that bad, and if the snow was bad I could take the bus or walk. I could walk or take the bus to/from the pub.
There was a large park with lots of wooded trails within walking distance, and if I lived elsewhere I could have arrived by bus or car (plenty of street parking in the area), or of course gone to another of the city's several parks. If I just wanted to see trees and squirrels and such, they were right outside my window. It doesn't have to be all concrete.
Schools don't magically turn to crap because of high floor-to-area ratios or the lack of a large parking lot out front. Urban schools suffer mainly because the tax base has fled to the suburbs, and because of the large percentage of students that don't come from a supportive environment at home (again because the middle class fled). Don't confuse the problems of cities with the problems of poverty. If you reverse the demographic migration (which appears to be happening, at least a little bit), things should improve.
As for buliding equity, you can buy a house or condo in the city, and you can rent in the suburbs.
Is the city -- be it a high-density one like New York or Chicago or a moderate-density one like Pittsburgh -- right for everyone? No. Are there some inconveniences (as well as some conveniences)? Sure, but "savagery" is a bit much unless you're talking about some very specific locations. And small towns can, if done right, can be walkable too. I never said suburbia was uncivilized, just that accessing the civilization that is there requires more energy.
Choices are good, as long as you pay your fair share for claiming luxuries that we don't have the resources to extend to everyone. But for a while now (it's starting to get a bit better lately, but not tremendously so), public policy has been pushing suburbanization through zoning, parking regulations, highway funding, tax policy, energy policy, etc. -- rather than letting development patterns respond to market demand.