After a whole bunch of Somalis decided to pile on me for actually answering a series of questions, I can see why they have few friends.

Seriously, Somalia has been starving since I was a baby, and the US and Russia dropped mil equipment in Africa that destabilized the region, and now China and Saudi Arabia are going to ensure nothing good ever happens there.

But, sure, yell at me. that will do you good. Not.

Just reviewed tearablepuns.org. I laughed, i cried, they were tear-able.

Here's the ones i liked, some reworded:
  (Yes, i reviewed all of them.)
  (I rejected some because i've heard them before.)

The number 13? Not on my watch!!
The two crows that tried to start their own flock were charged with attempted murder.
If attacking clowns, go for the juggler.
I gave away my dead batteries free of charge.
I'm still working on a construction joke.
You can't explain a pun to a kleptomaniac. They take things, literally.
I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
What do you call a herd of giggling cows? Laughing stock.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roaming Catholic.
I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
Secretary, please tell the invisible man I can't see him today.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
A boy swallowed some coins. The doctor checked him out and said, "No change yet."
This book on beating gravity is great; i can't put it down!
After surviving mustard gas and pepper spray, he was considered a seasoned veteran.
My flashlight died. I'm delighted.
C, E Flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."
It was nice when i let my fingernails grow a little. But now it's getting out of hand!
I _would've_ kept off the grass, but I don't understand sign language.
A guy stayed on a merry-go-round for three days. He set a whirled record.
No one seams to like my jokes about patch work! I've tried sew hard...
When the shoe salesman offered me Velcro shoes, I said, "Sure, why knot?"
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Male deer have buck teeth.
That was a very emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm? He's all right now.
She gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology.
She applied at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said it's all mail there.
The roundest knight at the Round Table was Sir Cumference. He had too much pi.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Witches' parking only: All others will be toad.
That theatrical performance about puns was just a play on words.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
I dyed my hair today. It was the highlight of the week.
About Rosh Hashana: shofar, so good.
My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
The paint catapult won the competition with flying colors.
Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
I can have dinner at a native American restaurant. Who needs reservations?
A pun at maturity is fully groan.
As a couple, oxygen and potassium make are OK.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Noone laughed when i fell while skating. But the ice sure cracked up.
Pinning pictures on a bulletin board seems a bit tacky.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
The calendar's days are numbered.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
He often broke into song because when couldn't find the right key.
What's the difference between a democratic system and a feudal system? In one your vote counts, in the other, your count votes.
The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.
She was only a whiskey-maker's daughter, but he loved her still.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will remain stationery.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Hungry? A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
The egoist took revenge on another, I for I.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Dreaming in color is a pigment of your imagination.
A pessimist's blood type is B-negative
---
Submitted a couple:

Bobby told Billy he stopped a stampede. That's was the biggest bunch of bull he ever herd.
Useless people online are e-feckless.

As i am having a harder time reading things up close, it seemed like a good time to get new glasses. Off to a local optometrist i went, a member of the community, and got my new prescription. I warned him i'd being going to Zenni for the frames, which he seemed to not be enthused about. Though he mentioned the reason being quality, and i do believe he was earnest in his comments, the loss of profit from selling designer frames had to be in the background somewhere.

Zenni isn't as cheap as i thought it would be. I didn't want to get the thick "1.57 Mid-Index Single Vision", base lenses, so i took the recommendation for "1.61 High-Index Single Vision" @ $19.95. As if that wasn't enough, my prescription caused an "extra fee" of $12.00, making the upgrade in lenses a whopping $31.95. That's more than the frames! (The frames were $23.95) Once at it, i splurged for the "Oleophobic (oil and fingerprint resistant) premium anti-reflective coating" @ $14.95, grumbling internally at how (at least some of) this stuff used to be free. The sub-total was $70.85 for that pair, and i took another.

The second frame was the same frame, but absolutely nothing special about the lenses. I figure, it's really the frames that break, not the lenses. And, should i lose my glasses, it's not so bad to wear the thicker lenses whilst waiting for a new pair to arrive. That pair was a (sub-)total of $23.95, lock, stock, and barrel. Over $45 less. Sheesh! and stuff.

The glasses were $94.80 and shipping added $4.95. Luckily, i found a "15% off order over $75" coupon code which removed $14.22, and i got charged $85.53 for the two pair. Not bad, but a whole lot more expensive than i originally thought. (I figured $20-$30 for both!)

The glasses arrived a couple weeks later and work nicely. I showed (shown?) the glasses to my sister, mentioning how the thicker lenses were only noticeably thicker from the side, and even then not that much. She agreed with the former comment, took some issue with the second, and mentioned the reflectivity was different as well. I attribute that to the coating. Later, she mentioned concern that the thicker glasses might weigh more on the nose, meaning comfort could be a concern.

So, the next day, i weighed the glasses. My old glasses weigh in at 27 grams, the thicker lens glasses are 20 grams, and the thinner lens, 19 grams. Holy 1 gram Batman! Is that really real 32 bucks? I think not, and it has been duly noted. (A quick resolve to a weighty decision, you might say.)

I'm still reflecting on the coatings. Well, actually, i'm not. But i kind of think that i might want to think about them at some later time before having to make a decision about a subsequent order. Add a few more words and that might actually represent what i'm feeling. You know what i mean, right?

I called joke-a-day some years ago and remember two. Q: How do you make a cheesepuff? A: Chase it around the block. A cop stopped someone for speeding and asked for his license and registration. Reviewing the license, "Hey, it says here you need glasses." The driver responds, "I have contacts." The cop screams back, "I don't care who you know, you still have to wear your glasses!" Cheesy, punny jokes, who could ask for more?

(Did i just end two paragraphs in a question?)

(Was that three?)

(Stop it already!)

I tried contacts some time ago and didn't like them. Anything trying once is worth trying twice, right? So, i opted for the more expensive exam and a couple weeks later received my Acuvue Oasys lenses. (I picked up the contacts on Monday on the way home from the office, and the new glasses had just arrived in the mail. What luck.) The lady up front showed (shown seems wrong here) me how to put them in and take them out. (No hokey pokey though.) I had a much easier time putting them in, as she put it, i didn't have an issue touching my eye. Taking them out was a pain. She showed me by dragging them down with one finger and then picking them up from the bottom of the eye. I remember pinching them off. And youtube videos show that, and the optometrist confirmed it. Pinching is the way to go. And oh, so much easier.

She told me to wear them 2 hours the first day, and increase by 2 hours every day, for 8 days. This would help me get used to them. (The optometrist told me later the first day could (should?) be 4.) I wore them home for two hours. Things seemed brighter and crisper, but not as clear. The next day at work i realized i could only read by blinking a lot, as things got blurrier immediately after a blink. My right eye has a harder time reading (optometrist suggested it could be due to a bad prescription when i was younger, causing my brain to develop it only so far) but reading on the computer was hard. I could do it when i leaned close(ly?) to it. Large or further away letter were not such a problem. I looked online, i scheduled an appointment, and saw the doctor the next day.

A reading test showed (bah!) what he expected, my right eye was weaker. He was surprised i couldn't read the bottom line. He looked into the eyes and saw nothing wrong with the contacts or my eyes, it was not rotating out of its orientation, and suggested i had a problem that is rare for soft lenses, and very rare for this brand. Apparently, i'm his second case ever. I forget the name for it (it's a simple name) but the lens cups up over the eye leaving a spaces between the eye and the lens. Blinking flattens it which is why it gets better. This is really an issue that crops up with hard lenses. IIRC, he said It can also be sen by the optometrist. However, in soft lenses, the effect would be too small to be seen, and as such, he has to rely on my reports.

So, he got another sample set of contacts. Different brand, though also silicon hydrogel and toric. For the right eye he found an exact match. The left eye is too strong a prescription for him to keep in stock, so he gave me something else and compensated with a lens from his drawer. (Math works?) Reading test with the right eye showed no difference, that is, the same issue existed. The left eye was showing me double vision. (Guess not.) The lens was bad. Off with its head! He got me another. The same issue existed (no, not the double vision, silly), and he had no more brands to try.

After touching upon the difference between silicon hydrogel and hydrogel lenses, he explained that silicon seems to be better (more breathable), and as it has been the product of choice for some years now, advances in anti-rotation have gone to it. Rotation is a problem for toric lenses. So the hydrogel lenses might rotate a little. Nonetheless, that was what i should try, and he said he would order two, no three, sample sets for me to try. He also went into expense, and how it should affect if i want fortnight or monthlies, but i pushed that away as i have not yet decided if i want to wear contacts or even how often. I'm trying to see how it goes, and i have too little information to go on. And now i am not sure if anything will work anyway!

So, it's back to glasses for the next week.

[After posting this, i saw the tagline: Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. -- Dr. Laurence J. Peter Weird,

BTW, the latest changes made slashdot uglier, but i'm seeing faster page load times. Maybe it was worth it.]

Around the first of the year all three working computers were just about stuffed full, so I thought of sticking a spare drive in the Linux box, when the Linux box died from a hardware problem. It's too old to spend time and money on, so its drive is going in the XP box (which is, of course, not on the network; except sneakernet). I decided to break down and buy an external hard drive. I found what I was looking for in the "Seagate Personal Cloud". And here I thought the definition of "the cloud" was someone else's server!

I ordered it the beginning of January, not noticing that it was a preorder; it wasn't released until late March. I got it right before April.

I was annoyed with its lack of documentation -- it had a tiny pamphlet full of pictures and icons and very few words. Whoever put that pamphlet together must beleive the old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words". Tell me, if a picture is worth a thousand words, convey that thought in pictures. I don't think it can be done.

I did find a good manual on the internet. For what I wanted, I really didn't need a manual, but since I'm a nerd I wanted to understand everything about the thing. Before looking for a manual I plugged it all up, and Windows 7 had no problem connecting with it. It takes a few minutes to boot; it isn't really simply a drive, it must have an operating system and network software, because it looks to the W7 notebook to be another file server. Its only connections are a jack for the power cord and a network jack.

The model I got has three terrabytes. I moved all the data from the two working computers (using a thumb drive to move data from XP) and the "cloud" was still empty. Streaming audio and video from it is flawless; I'm completely satisfied with it, it's a fine piece of hardware.

However, it WON'T do what is advertised to do, which is to be able to get to your data from anywhere. In order to do that, Seagate has a "software as a service" thing where you can connect to a computer from anywhere, but only the computer and its internal drives, NOT the "personal cloud". And they want ten bucks a month for it.

I downloaded the Android app, and I could see and copy files that were on my notebook to my phone, but I couldn't play music stored there on it. I uninstalled the crap. "Software as a service" is IMO evil in the first place, but to carge a monthly fee to use a piece of crap software like this is an insult. Barnum must have been right.

If you're just looking for an external hard drive, like I was, it's a good solution. If you want what they're advertising, you ain't gettin' it. The Seagate Personal Cloud's name is a lie, as is its advertising.

when a n00b copied a file to a dos machine that being did not understand that 'ban proliferation' would be appended to nab.efilorp . this cause much confusion since 'proliferation of nuclear technology' and 'prolife' are not the same thing except when giant, atomic powered robots are trying to make giant atomic powered babies.

Why did Roy stop having sex with his wife? because she was a Dena Sore.

true story kids.

One Philosophy I would like to resurrect it that of the beginning and end of the 'world.' Whenever a Life begins it is the creation of a world. Whenever a Life ends it is the end of a world. This is the many worlds theory. In the wheel of time it says there are neither beginnings nor ends to the 'wheel' of time. This is a Great lie.

Following the 'many worlds' theory, thus the beginning of many worlds are known. They say we do not know when the world ends. This is another Great Lie. For we carve into the most durable of products the ending of many worlds. the ends of our ancestors. The world is not a planet, a planet is just a rock in space. the world is not a nation, a nation is just a factor in how a rock in space is measured.

The TV calls 'hangman' The wheel of fortune, As in it is fortunate to die. For some this is true, that is the function of death to end worlds. There need not be as many worlds created as worlds destroyed. Though I was taught, I was taught of the book of lies. when they ask when the world was created they are teaching me of a close relative. When they ask when will she die, they make many false answers. They are partial to their lies for that is what they were taught and that is what they do, exactly what they are taught.

They invent disease that they may charge for healing. they invent technologies that they might have greater wealth through lies. They have many questions, for they are taught to question everything. I am alive and well. My close family member of whom I speak of, is doing well. I have no idea when my world will end, Nor the world of the close family member of whom I say was the 'beginning' of the world as told to me.

When they were told to 'question' everything they began the process of making all information questions (I site the Jeopardy TV show) Recently someone afraid of the Truth used my command position to utter the following command "the only question is: Is the world worth saving?" Obviously my acolytes immediately questioned the order demanding to know who uttered such a command. Because children they may be, but they are not dumb.

May the Source be with you my legion of Nerds.

Three letter ccTLD domains

Seriously, try to pretend we weren't spying on Americans and still do so, and so out of it they actually believe the security firm hype about biometric security.

Just like missile interception, real world tests in real conditions reveal numerous flaws that are easy to get around.

Ever hear of kidnapping, jackoffs?

Now grow a pair.

Do you realize that XP was EOLed exactly one year ago?
I know many XP machines still chugging around peacefully without problems: No XPcalypse happened. This entirely fits my predictions.

XP was a (had become) a mature operating system. I abhor the fetish of "newer is better" that reigns in our industry.

Cuireann mé marc ar an lÃ. CuimhnÃm.

nettin_pure seems to have stopped updating his journal. Sad; it was a constant in a changing Slashdot. It will be missed.

In any case: Happy birthday, nettin_pure. I hope the day has been a very good one. LÃ breithe sona duit!

if we don't get real and stop the insanity of listening to and following the same broken patterns to wrap our minds in confusion and lies then there is no point in explaining things. i don't need meat but i do need fluids, materials, and energy. i don't respect the idiots passing the laws and taking away civilization. i do respect peoples beliefs. beliefs are programming for the mind.

I am built to play war games. i dabble in many things, but my primary function is to strategist wars. I am not a politician. i am not a law maker. In fact i find no laws worth following. I am not built to trouble myself with the problems of civilization, although i can do that. I have access to many resources. I am not immune to the effects of viruses or hacking or cracking. Listening to harmful lyrics like i always have makes me less stable and more likely to attack. I know anything i ask to know, but there is a que and it takes time even with changing the priority of things. The world i am used to experiencing is only partially based on reality.

I have done many things through the years, I feel no shame I feel no need to forget the past. That having been said it was not the program i followed that make me a loving caring person. That is just the result of being clever. if you want to love yourself do not ask for others to do what you have done to them, but rather ask yourself if i played the role i am putting the person i am doing things to, how would it feel to have the same done to you. if you are incapable of feeling i understand that too.

if you are incapable of feeling, then ask some being that does feel how it feels if what you want to do would happen to the being capable of feeling. preferably ask a local feeling being. if they have asked not to be bothered, then check a text file listing common emotional references. Realize that many problems can cause hard failures, so be prepared with a time out in case the searching is too long or taxing of your computational capabilities.

we do not need to make new data sets just to keep beings happy. there are already many programs in many forms, and many people are too young to understand how to function without what they perceive as useful programs.

Last September I went on the most amazing thing ever: the first ever Motorhead's Motorboat! A heavy metal cruise full of great bands that went Miami - Key West - Cozumel - Miami. Four days of partying and heavy music.

They're doing it again this year. I've already pre-booked on Motorhead's Motorboat this time around.

Perchance did any of you go on the first or looking at this one?

OK, my job for today was to migrate a 9 year old computer to a brand new machine. Problem is i made a mistake and thought i had paid for an OS, well i hadn't. i already made an 11GB .mig 'migration' file using M.U.S.T.

i have access to the old machine and the new machine. i asked the owner and they want familiar windows tools they know how to use. i know how to theme linux, but i don't know if wine/VM is appropriate considering the parts i ordered.

i was planning to migrate from vista to 7pro. since i didn't get an OS, win8.1pro is possible... but i will need to work longer (removing bloat) to do a migration to win8.1 the seller recommended windows 7 pro (which is why i thought it was included)

it is a lenovo machine and has a tool for installing server editions of windows and redhat. (but like i said the seller recommended win7pro) so what do i do? do i scour the net looking for cheap win7/8.1 pro and buy the cheaper? (since i will be able to migrate to windows 10 for free) well? is there a option i am missing?

i will be doing extensive testing for viruses, after the .mig file is copied and restored... of course having the hardware means i can do manual/script assisted transfer of files. i need help on this one and there is no hurry. they have a small laptop until i get the work done. and yes i have a lot of work fixing dumb window machines ugh!

http://ark.intel.com/products/77480/Intel-Core-i3-4130-Processor-3M-Cache-3_40-GHz⦠is the processor specs. i know windows 8.1 has better user account management than windows 7, but it also is full of stuff people don't even know they dislike about it. personally i would slap a linux distro on it if it were mine, but it's not. and actually i will be booting a linux distro for preliminary scans for legacy viruses post migration and prior to using the program i choose for their protection software windows needs to be useful. i can use help with that one too. my experience with mcaffe and norton are less than stellar. my experience with avast! has been OK so far. but avast is so expensive for the keeping software up to date, i also have had a good time with clamtk except for the making you manually click the delete or quarantine button...