It dawned on me today that I seem to be a Slashdot subscriber.

Now that I think of it, I've been seeing those special "early" stories for a few days now. I've seen them before as the result of glitches and bugs, so I assumed that's all it was until I noticed an asterisk next to my name. Given the number of page views I've used so far it looks like I haven't been a subscriber for more than a week.

I don't remember subscribing. Of course, it was a thing I was planning to do but had not gotten around to actually bothering or anything. At least I don't remember signing up. You'd think I'd remember something like that.

I can only assume that someone gifted me with a subscription, although the way I'm reading things I think I should have gotten a notice to that effect from Slashdot. Clearly this is a result of my extremely brilliant and convincing postings which have so swayed some person's heart as to make them adore me to the tune of 2000 page views. There can be no other explanation. For my next trick I will use my OBVIOUSLY VAST powers of persuasion to convince my audiance to kill farmers. Don't ask why, just do it!

If my benefactor is watching, all I can say is: Pervert. I said no sex, and I meant it! All right... maybe a little sex, if you're female. Oh, and thank you. If there's anybody I can kill for you, just speak up, eh?

You know, I'm getting sick and tired of hearing all of this "oh, the command line is so haard!" crap.

People moaning and complaining about stupid stuff, like how KDE and GNOME haven't perfectly duplicated Windows yet, and how HARD it is for newbies to use a keyboard.

Well here's a fucking news flash for you, you literal-minded dorks: the command line is the easiet user interface ever created,

It's damned easy to associate words with tasks. "Hmm, I want to send an email. I know, I'll tell my computer "mail" and see what it does!"

The fact that the console is a little limited UI-wise when it comes to prompts and "what-now?" syndrome is not material. Why the HELL does any user need a fuck START MENU? Why does anyone need a desktop icon? These things were a "neat" feature in 1984, but lacking in serious utility. The novelty has long since worn off.

I gave up my desktop icons long ago, and my menu shortly thereafter. I think in words, not pictures. An icon with a heart on it can mean a million things--the word "bookmarks" is a lot more descriptive. A picture is NOT ALWAYS worth a thousand words, anyone who's played Pictionary will tell you that. Ever tried expressing concepts in picture, like (say) "Attack at dawn"? A disk and a pen do not mean "Save" to me, especially not at 16x16!

All of you fucking morons who try to "hide" "complexity" behind candy-coated interfaces are barking up the wrong universe! You want complexity? Try three-levels deep in a start menu with panels overlapping everywhere. Try icons that suddenly GROW and the SHRINK. Seeing your toolbar go away/change because you accidently clicked the desktop is CONFUSING. Having little boxes rearrange themselves at the bottom of the screen is just DAMNED confusing. In fact, essentially NONE of the "holy" Win/Mac GUI staples have any worth whatsoever!

You want the simplest UI on the fucking planet? Make the desktop a big BLACK screen with a prompt. Tell the user "Type in 'mail' for mail and 'internet' or 'web' for a web browser. See that square in the corner? Click the empty squares within it to jump to new, clean space, and the filled ones to jump back." Then remove their minimize button, returning to the very-sane "max-size-toggle" button, and make typing "help" give the user a list of words and what they open. chat->GAIM, solitaire->solitaire, and so on. What could be easier than remembering a few WORDS? People do that every day ANYWAY. Much easier than trying to free-associate dinky pictures with complex tasks.

Oh, and Apple? I want LABELS on icons, you here me? Labels, or label and icons. Icons alone DO NOT MAKE SENSE.