Hello NASA,
I hereby apply for the Austronaut Candidate position.
I am a Danish, 24 year old guy, but the absence of a American citizenship shouldn't count me out. Here is why:
- Since the age of 3, I have had an astonishing ability to find my way around in the dark. Space is pretty dark. This skill will definitely come in handy. Otherwise I'm pretty handy with a flashlight.
- I absolutely love soup. This is fantastic, since it is highly probable to be on the space menu. I can eat like seven bowls of soup in one sitting. Sometimes eight. Depends on the soup.
- My grandmother always used to scream out; Alexander! GET DOWN FROM THERE! You know why? Because I climbed. I climbed everything. The ISS will be a piece of cake to get around.
- I'm 6'1" and I weigh around 172 pounds (depending on how much soup I've had), which is an absolutely perfect match for an astronaut. I won't take up too much space in the spaceship, and I can reach the top shelf - even when weightless.
- I played ice hockey for 9 years and I live in Scandinavia. Subzero temperatures won't ever be a problem. I enjoy eating ice cream while walking outside in the snow.
- I am currently studying journalism at the University of Southern Denmark. This makes me an absolute master of any language and a valuable member of any constellation of professions, known to mankind - but I will of course drop out, should you pick me for the position.
- As I am an excellent conversationalist, the ride from Earth to the ISS won't be boring. I read a lot and I am an avid quiz contestant, my broad knowledge and social abilities will definitely be awesome to have on the rocket.
- I could bring a keg or two of beers along, if needed. I understand you guys are a bit pressed for cash at the moment.
- I am fluent in whatever language I get to study for 3-4 years, which is absolutely vital for the survival of earth, should I be captured by hostile hesitant aliens.
and lastly, I am a true master of disguise. I can look like a astronaut, a scandinavian, an american, an alien or a goldshoed clown croc kitty (see attached photograph). [Hello Slashdot: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/308748_10150340417636211_722201210_9759559_2148778_n.jpg%5D
I am versatile in every manner.
Looking forward to hearing from you, and to our future adventures together.
To infinity and beyond,
Alexander O'Strit
