Oh, God, I understood that. (reaches for whiskey bottle)

"Major internet service providers today will start monitoring the internet traffic to their customers' computers ..." And the amount of porn viewed zeros out.

Which is why I am stunned that Cadillac is using this in a car. In fact, they are bragging that this is better than buttons. Because what we need in our cars is more shit that takes our eyes off the road.

I you want them to die laughing, just read them "The Joke."

My experimentation shows a break even point of 15 cents. If the difference in price between E10 and E0 gas is less than 15 cents it is more cost effective to burn E0. Guess what the price difference almost always is? There are times that the stations selling E10 go up in price before the stations selling pure gas, but not often.

Apparently, my memory was also packed with explosives. Of course it was the Smothers Brothers. Ed would have had a stroke if someone had blown up a drum (or anything else) on his show.

Well, when on the Ed Sullivan Show, they have been known to pack explosives into the drum memory.

Don't you mean "halal"?

1. Form an LLC
2. Acting as your child's agent, put them under contract with the LLC for their creative works until their 18th birthday, with an option for the child to retrieve all their rights from the LLC at that time.
3. ???
4. Screw the school district!

Remotely turn off the fence so the raptors can get out.

Um, Peace Corps.

I see you have also noticed the new waitress at the coffee shop; the blonde with the big knocks.

I output everything to the card punch, and put each deck in separate drawer in the cabinet. Doesn't everyone?

I just wish MS had felt this way about their users all these years.

Well, that's based on the amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area this morning.