10,000 years ago, while I was younger . . . I was at a place in Canada named Kananaskis. I got up early on a Sunday morning to enjoy a walk and a Cuban cigar. A deer just so happened to sit down next to me. It was kind of strange . . . I just wanted a bit of peace and quiet . . . and the deer seemed to have the same opinion of the situation.

The gag was that we left each other alone, without any problems. Of course, when the tourists got up with their cameras . . . the poor deer critter decided that it was time to go.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A...

. . . and what tasty food that you were carrying with you . . . ? Was it well packed? The moose was not interested in you, but in the food that you were carrying!

Did the park ranger at least give you a pamphlet on how to deal with wild animals?

Sorry to get all PETA about this, but the park is where the moose lives. If you don't know how to deal with wildlife . . . stay at home, and leave them alone!

Tell that to Putin and the folks in the Ukraine . . .

. . . and what is the cause . . . ? Are these attacks the fault of the moose . . . or the tourists . . .!

You don't "scare off" bears. If you feel that your life is in danger you need to shoot it . . . and kill it. Otherwise, you will be the bear's lunch.

Trash. Bears love it. It is their Atlantic City Casino free all you can eat buffet for senior citizens!

When the authorities catch a polar bear that has been pestering the neighborhoods in Churchill, they throw the poor critter in a prison cell, and give it water . . . but no food! The intent is that the bear learns that contact with humans is a rather unpleasant experience for it.

Which is why folks up there just don't "go out for a walk" for a long time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D...

Elk taste yummy. Ask to moose and bear meat . . . ? Well, as a friend of mine quipped, "It's tastes OK, if you don't mind the taste of smelly gym socks."

Darwin has taught elk to stay away from people . . . because they taste yummy! If you think an elk is just going to trot up to you to say, "Hello!" . . . well then, ich glaube, es knuscht mich ein Elch"

If you bag a big elk . . . you had better have a good sized freezer . . . and you will have enough meet to last you until summer!

No, that's your message. I didn't write anything like that. The first thing hunters learn, is to treat their firearms with respect. The second thing is, to treat wild animals with respect.

Take a trot out your front door and talk to some elk hunters, and ask, "Y'all been having problems with too many elk coming up to you . . . ?

http://www.remington.com/produ...

http://www.mossberg.com/produc...

But if was just me . . . and a bear . . . this is would I would like to have:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H...

However, I would not recommend this for ordinary folks. This is a serious firearm.

You misspelled slug

. Try googling on "rat shot" or "bird shot", if those the varmints that you are hunting.

Yes, thanks, that was what I wanted to reply.

Reading the article is completely superfluous on Slashdot. We're not here to read the news. We're here to read what other nerds think about the "Nudes for Nerds." Someone could post a story about Justin Bieber breaking his leg while falling into Kim Kardashian's ass crack, and I'm sure, some nerd would post a comment that would be rated +5, Funny. And some nerd would even post a comment that would get a +5, Insightful:

"I am currently working on a postdoc on celebrity ass crack spelunking . . ."

The Rangers are there to convince Russia not to claim all the oil rights to the Arctic.

What . . . ? Did a moose bite your sister, or something . . .? Bull moose are only dangerous for about two weeks during the rut . . . and only if you try to get near them . . . like Japanese tourists, who want to play "Bambi". Otherwise, a moose is just a big, dumb cow. You can walk up to one and kick it in the ass to get it off your front lawn, and it won't budge. Just like all those kids on my front lawn.

Polar bears . . . ? You don't want a rifle, but rather a tactical shotgun. Take a trot around the neighborhoods in Churchill, Manitoba, Canada. Every household has a tactical shotgun by the door.

Don't go out without it!

I'm surprised that the Royal Canadian Mounted Geese aren't using these critters:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A...

My scientific scam sense is tingling. I suspect that the scientists were just looking for a way to charge their munchies bill on a project account.

Next up: New anti-fungal compounds can be grown on pizza, cocaine and whores!

Yes, but by the time anyone reads your post, that number will be up to six cases.

And by the time anyone reads this post, that number will be up to seven cases.

So if the White House is building a rocket in Area 57 to take mine shaft gap folks into outer space, to, um, "re-spawn" civilization . . . maybe they know something about Ebola that we don't . . . ?

Big Three used to mean the Big Three American auto companies. But Chrysler is owned by Fiat now. It's an Italian company.

So when bailout time comes around again in a few years . . . Italy will bail out Chrysler, right . . . ?

The positive side of Chrysler being Italian, is maybe politicians will be a bit hesitant to take bribes from a foreign country . . . you know, like treason . . . ?

Coal doesn't kill birds. People with coal kill birds . . .

. . . or should that be birds with coal kill birds . . . or people . . . ?

. . . can be found here: http://www.amazon.de/gp/produc...

This is really a topic for psychologists and not statisticians, because, well . . . people tend to lie on questionnaires. And there is a lot more going on in marital processes than simple numbers can reveal.