Easy. It's filled with too many Americans.

"Job one urgency?" Are we playing madlibs?

Coming up with a serious iPad competitor should be job two ennui, at least.

Oh my god, thank you for that. Hilarious.

I once feigned ignorance (not much of a feat for me, in most things) and asked a Best Buy employee what was better about the $100 HDMI cables. He said two things that I thought were amazing*.

1) My Playstation3 was not going to look as good on the $20 cable, because all the colors could not go through the cheaper cable fast enough.

2) The more expensive cable uses a better conductor metal for "better frequency".

*I don't really fault an employee that's making $8 an hour with no commission for talking out his ass, I just thought this was funny.

Will my $600 gold-plated monster superconductor cable support the new standards?

Codenamed "David"

I screwed it up :(

Wow tht relly works! Give this mn a medl!

I would say "firm" is the type of grip you would use whilst hanging from a single piece of scaffolding at the top of the Sears tower.

Even the largest hadrons can't stay active forever.

1) Grip firmly with right hand.

2) Take one step in so that faces are around 12 inches apart.

3) Make eye contact (hold position until this happens).

4) Once eye contact is made, firmly grab person's forearm with your left hand.

5) Slide left hand up and down person's forearm, from wrist to elbow, twice, while maintaining eye contact.

6) Wink with left eye.

7) Break eye contact, let go.

But all of us here believe in creationism. And since we are all preeminent scientists in our respective fields, I think our point of view has some merit.

According to the latest in physiognomical science, you are perfectly suited for the occupation of:

Maintenance Technician

"Dad? It's Jimmy. Can you help me pay back those med school loans?"

**This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.**

Customer: Hi, my computer won't POST.

Steve (Samir): Okay, sir, first we must try a few things. Is the machine currently plugged in?

**3 hours later**

Steve: Sir, the problem appears to be a faulty motherboard. Unfortunately your system is out of warranty. Luckily, while the system was operational, our integrated key-logger was able to pull your shipping address and credit card numbers. We have billed you for a replacement system and it should be there in 3-5 business days. Someone will need to sign for it, perhaps your oldest daughter. Justine is turning into a fine looking young-lady, by the way.

O-p-p-r-e-s-s-i-v-e G-o-v-e-r-n-m-e-n-t

[Google Search]

"Your search - Oppressive Government - did not match any documents."

"Did you mean Outstanding Government?"