Pyromaniacs, like other dedicated individuals, need goals.

... to turn out the lights.

A per mile fee doesn't take into account the loading a particular vehicle puts on the road surface. Tolls discriminate for access. I say forget fees, forget tolls, institute trolls! Just have them eat the Hummers and other such offenders! It's just another great spin on the highly regarded "eat the rich" strategy.

... of giving free Alzheimer's tests at Tea Party conventions?

... is become one of the 1-percent. Otherwise, if your job isn't offshored, you'll be replaced by a robot. Basically, you have to own the robots to win.

... BASIC was the Esperanto of computer languages. Today, BASIC is the Esperanto of computer languages.

... the day you make it illegal for billionaires to use air conditioning.

Actually, a kid who worked hard could make decent money, for an unskilled worker. The threat of being sent to work in the fields also inspired many a more enterprising youth to find alternative employment.

My hardest manual labor job, between years of college, was in an adobe brickyard. It was not unusual to move ten tons of bricks in a day, though that usually meant about 4 or so hours of work, after which one was spent. Stacking bricks, it was common to have fingertips mashed between bricks, which was remarkably painful. The back, of course, was constantly fatigued. While I wouldn't wish it on anyone as a career, it was a valuable learning experience many would benefit from.

Although it acquired a function of social education and its own social hierarchy, the classroom was primarily created as a nexus for knowledge dissemination. Greek youths would congregate at the foot of such as Plato to learn from a master. As education became more popular, schoolhouses served as focal points where knowledge could be disseminated from a learned individual to a multitude of pupils. At that point, children were sent to school for enrichment, but their labor was still valued and necessary on the family farm. Today, however, schools are warehouses for youth, as yet insufficiently skilled to be constructive in the workforce, yet an inconvenience to their working parents. Amidst this large-scale warehousing, all manner of social malignancy has evolved. Gangs, bullying, drugs are just a few of the problems that taint the academic environment. With the ability of the technology to provide access to instruction without the warehousing and its ills. will the classroom persist?

Oregon is a major producer of strawberries in the U.S. Sixty years ago, most of the strawberries here were picked by local youths, as their summer jobs. In the decades that followed, the tradition of kids having manual-labor jobs fell victim to increasing affluence, changing social values, and an influx of migrant workers. A new generation of parents no longer felt it important to teach their kids the work ethic through hard, manual work. Some might argue that, if the strawberries are spoiling in the fields, it started decades ago with the spoiling of our kids.

... how the shareholders react, and whether any C-level heads roll over this apparent institutional overreach.

Oh, and at the same time they can work on modifying Shatner's brain to be capable of rational thought.

... and genetically modify Californians' kidneys so that they can consume seawater.

Beer takes about a third as much water to make as milk and about half that of wine.

While there may well be merit to the criticisms of Oz, it should be noted that the doctors behind this initiative are not without their own conflicts of interest: http://america.aljazeera.com/blogs/scrutineer/2015/4/17/doctors-behind-anti-oz-letter-have-own-conflicts-of-interest.html