Comment Re:An Ability (Score 1) 361
Being nice is only valuable as an additional asset to your others.
You don't hire people just because they are nice even if they make terrible workers, salesman or whatever (being nice does not guarantee sales, maybe customer relations, but not sales).
Therefore, being nice - once you remove the ideology that a lot of people have - is not necessary to succeed (by whatever definition you care to choose - wealth, charity, etc.). Some of the most fun, intellectual, influential people I know are not "nice" at all. When they are nice, it's because - and they will admit this - they are falsifying it to get their way. Some actually consider "niceness" only a way to appease YOU and get what THEY want, even if that's on a tiny social level and they're not being mean or trying to get something from you.
Being unable to nice isn't a serious disability, but it can hinder. Precisely because of the above - you need to be able to "fake" nice at the very least. But, at the end of the day, being nice doesn't solve an awful lot of everyday problems. In fact, being nice can actually create those problems in the first place (e.g. taking on everyone's work etc.).
"Criminals" - to lump entire millions of people together - do tend to lack in empathy. But they are also rather good at faking "nice" in a lot of cases. This is the basis of the confidence trickster, for instance. Internally, they aren't "at war", they're doing exactly what the human race does and is based on. Though we may have come from tribal origins, inter-tribe relations are never "nice". And intra-tribe relations were much like the great apes now... fight to set a pecking order and then peace to maintain it without expending unnecessary energy.
Sorry, but all the "nice" people I know get the piss taken out of them, work-wise and socially. They will be the ones that can't say no to their boss, will go out of their way for people who will never return that favour, and will never be top of the hierarchy - whatever that is.
Being "nice" is not necessary. Being civil is a different matter. But if you're always "nice", people genuinely don't know what degree of positivity/negativity you have towards their ideas.
To be honest, I much prefer people who let their feelings known. They are the people that you know generally won't be bullshitting you. And people who are nice? I just always believe that have ulterior motives.