Send the lobbyists out on cruise ships and hope they eat something.

It probably lacks certification from the Department of Redundancy Department anyway...

Almost there....

Oh, the telemarketers are probably salivating.....

I hope you have a wad of cash, since that is a requirement. Perhaps you are taller than fictional characters, though they have helped the economy a bit.

Recently I went hunting for the right bag for my needs, and found a few deals on a range of bags. On the overkill end I bought a used Briggs & Riley leather briefcase that is large enough to hold every portable computing device I own, or probably ever owned. If it was scruffy, I'd be temped to use it for grocery shopping or Home Depot excursions. Beautiful workmanship. Down the scale a notch I found a Mountain Khakis Field bag. http://www.mountainkhakis.com/products/accessories/bags/field-bag.cfm Along my travels I discovered RedOxx for very reasonably priced aviator duffles, http://www.redoxx.com/Aviator-Duffel-Bags/150/150/deptThose are the excursion bags for hardware shopping. and DuluthTrading: http://www.duluthtrading.com/store/product/fire-hose-field-bag-43129.aspx?kw=bag&processor=content#detailtabs for a durable, though slightly small bag. Duluth, please make one that fits and protects a 10 inch tablet, but not so large that file folders fit in it, because then my girlfriend would appropriate it.

Steampunks everywhere rejoice.

Repair instructions provided by Hal 9000.

Lassie sat by the grave site for weeks, until Gramps lured her away with pie.

Be sure to turn off the auto-aiming function, located in the advanced settings menu, before putting your gun away.

Due to the misguided "save the raptor" protests, there were no dinosaurs on Noah's Ark.

Hal 6000 trained her.

You probably forgot about "Bob"

Slave trade by robot, probably a legal loophole. Some people are virtual slaves to their phones now.

If Google couples it with a weight recognition app, the Kardashians would be even worse off.