I can't even believe this stupid rant made it onto /. You can't wait ONE WHOLE DAY for your replacement phone? That, and he didn't even think through the logistics of his 'plan':
They would only have to have one replacement model of each phone that had been sold recently enough to consumers to still be covered under a replacement insurance plan. That still probably wouldn't take up more space than what you could fit into a medium cardboard box
I don't think you realize how many stores there are. Instead of keeping a single large box of replacement phones at one distribution center, you would need to ship out at least one phone to every single area that you cover. The number of phones you have to have stocked at locations could easily exceed what you have at the single location. And to top it all off, you now have to keep track of all these phones, and keep shipping out newer models to hundreds of locations all the time.
And your story is made up, since you contradicted yourself within the same paragraph:
I had it sealed in a zippable plastic bag. .... As I dug the soaked phone out of my pocket once we were all on board the yacht,..
So, was your phone in a sealed bag or in your pocket unsealed? You can't seem to make up your mind.
... the jerks were trying to get the three women in bikinis on board their boat.
You post to /. and expect us to believe you were hanging out with three hot women in bikinis? Nice try ;-)