To start with, no, not all games are designed for the "testosterone-fueled male intellect." If that's what you think, you only have exposure to the ultra-popular games (and they're ultra-popular because the testosterone-fueled male intellect has a lot of money). If you want games for whatever other crowd (I'm guessing women, since it's the general topic of discussion), you're going to need to make a persuasive argument as to why a profit-seeking entity should bother with you and, furthermore, come to the discussion table and talk to people about what you want and how to do it without sacrificing what other people want and what the game is about. Regarding the first part (I'll touch on the second part later), game devs and publishers are, nine times out of ten, ultimately looking to make money. Games for "girls," while often being misguided and pretty blatantly offensive to begin with, tend to sell very poorly. The largest and most lucrative audience is the male gamer, 18-24, who is influenced by his peers. So the big-money games tend to be targeted toward that crowd. There's a bit of a negative feedback loop going on: women tend to be less interested in games in general, and this results in game developers not making a concerted effort to make games that would appeal to them, thus strengthening the general disinterest in games by that audience.
That said, creators often create what they know. Most game devs grew up surrounded by the last generation of gaming culture: D&D, point-and-clicks, Doom, Quake, Duke Nukem, etc. That kind of thing shows through in a lot of games. Speaking generally, women weren't really a part of that culture to any significant degree. Modern devs really have no idea how to make a game appeal to women, especially in the context of everything else they're trying to do with their game. Devs usually make what they know they would like (provided the game's not being written by committee for that college bro gamer market). If you want these games to be designed in a way that appeals more to you, you're first going to have to educate people on what it is you want that's different from what's available: what you think is fun and interesting, why and how it's different from what's offered, etc. And, of course, you're going to need to be able to sell it, because, as mentioned, ultimately the goal is money. People might give your ideas a chance if they make sense, but they better pay off.
I am a part of a specific gaming community that largely opposes a lot of the "we're not appealing to X enough" mentality that's starting to become pervasive in the modern discussion about games. Speaking for others here, and not myself, a lot of people are afraid that this whole mentality's going to ruin what has produced fantastic games in the past. People in the community I am part of are afraid that there won't be that next Planescape: Torment, that there won't be the next Myst, or Half-Life 2, or Metroid Prime, or whatever. They're afraid that all games are going to be designed specifically to pander to some particular market segment (women or not). That's the fear, and it's what causes the hostility. Personally, I don't think it'll ever be so bad that it prevents good works from showing up. It's true that there is some pandering going on to that 18-24 "testosterone gamer" crowd as mentioned earlier, and publishers are starting to direct devs to pander to other crowds, but there are still good games being made for the sake of being good games. I don't think this pandering mentality is ever going to become the one and only force in game design to the complete detriment of creative expression. I would like the discussion to get away from this whole "we need to be inclusive of everyone" mentality, though. I think some people are starting to losing sight of what makes a really good game.
Anyway, that last part was a bit of a tangent. What I'm trying to say is that a lot of the hostility you're seeing from certain people comes from a fear of losing what they love. If you have this good thing going and you see this bogeyman come out of nowhere and start threatening to take it away, you're going to lash out at it. That's exactly what's happening. I think folks would make a lot more progress (on both sides) if they actually came to the discussion table instead of demonizing each other. That's why I bothered to type this up (apologies if it was a bit convoluted, I was in a hurry).
