This might be impossible, but film has a number of things over even the best digital cameras. From color gradients (256 levels of RGB versus infinite), to the fact that it is quite difficult to doctor film without that being detected (at least easier than firing up Photoshop.)
Well, to be fair, film also has its limitations with the levels it can store. It's not exactly an even comparison, but it has a measure called film density which (if memory serves me) is a logarithm of the ratio of the amount of silver exposed in the most developed areas, to the amount of silver exposed in the least developed areas. This measure is around 2.8 for negatives and 3.2 for slides, and each step of 0.1 means an extra 1/3 of a stop of available range. As a change of 1 stop means a doubling of range, corresponding roughly to one bit of dynamic range, this gives equivalent bit depths between about 9 and 11. But like I said, it's not an even comparison... but it's not anywhere near infinite either.
Also, most digital cameras nowadays have ADCs that quantize to somewhere between 10 and 16 bits, not 8.