Sounds like MBAs really are a worthless degree then.

Simple reason. It won't be diluted enough and thus not very potent. I mean you can't get that 1 part in 1.0x10^200 dilution by dumping a goose liver, and even if you could how would you manage to do that magic shake on an ocean full of water at once. Probably at best they could only manage a 1 part in 1.0x10^20 to 1 part in 1.0x10^30, which wouldn't be any where near strong enough, using that method.

God I hope not. It seems like half the time I want to use one they are broken or being operated by people who have no idea what they are doing.

That is the problem with liking food with a bit kick and eating it frequently. When I was little I remember thinking how hot a jalapeno was the first time I had it because it burned so much. Now about 30 years later even something like a scorpion pepper doesn't burn like that first jalapeno did.

I believe that is covered by the :

Since they are in the same order of magnitude with various pepper sprays being between 500,000 and 5,000,000 SU and the Bhut Jolokia being around a 1,000,000 SU.

I prefer the Dave's Ghost Pepper sauce or Scorpion Pepper sauce. The Scorpion Pepper sauce is supposedly hotter but it doesn't contain the hot pepper extract that the Ghost Pepper one does. Both pack a punch if you are not expecting it. Although at these levels you are only a little shy of just using police pepper spray.

I think the goal should be to kick JJ Abrams hard enough in the nuts so he stops seeing lens flares.

That is not concealing enough, I suggest one of these: Auto darkening welding helmet

Really, this sounds more like user error. I haven't had a vehicle overheat ever and yet I have driven probably about 300,000 miles in my life all in vehicles that initially had at least 80,000 miles on them when I purchased them. The total mileage on all vehicles I have ever owned is well over a million if not closer to 1.5 million with the average mileage when I sent them off to the scrap yard probably around 250,000 miles. The only strangeness I have ever had with the cooling system was when a temp sensor flaked out and would provide basically random readings that would jump around all over the place, and the time when the thermostat got stuck open on one vehicle.

This sounds more like you didn't take care of your stuff and then it took a shit on you. Sadly that is fairly common amongst most people. Why should they have to change belts, hoses, fluids, spark plugs, filters, the car still runs and there isn't a light on so they think they are good to go. I had a discussion like this with my step father who said he only goes and gets the oil changed on vehicles when the light comes on. The light he was referring to was the red idiot light on the dash telling you your oil pressure has dropped too low either because it cant pump the thick crud or it isn't sucking up enough oil to maintain pressure.

They haven't just started showing up in heavy equipment but have been trickling down to smaller heavy equipment for a while. Going back to the 70s there were the 240 short ton trucks that were diesel electrics that were working in mines. These types of trucks are still in use and even the new ultra class of haul trucks are basically all diesel electrics.

I was thinking more along the lines of having some flashing UV LEDs that flash every 10 or so seconds. Put a couple in the grill and let them flash away.

Lets be fair I can add one more thing to that list. I believe the US government has managed to rack up the largest debt in present day dollars of any nation in history. I don't think a private company would be capable of ever accumulating that much debt.

After reading the article this may prove to be a solution to the numerous deer car collisions. I might try this given the number of deer in my area.

So if I understand your post correctly
1. People don't want to live in the area your company is located in for the wages your company is offering.
2. Your company only wants to hire top tier employees who can make substantially more at other companies.
3. Your company doesn't want to train people.
Sounds to me like your company should actually follow the standard BS management line of investing in employees instead of whining about a shortage of people. How about increasing your pay offerings and compensation since you clearly stated that they pay is meh. Another idea might be to work with the local schools and offer paid internships you know so that you might actually be able to nab some of those college grads who already have experience. Also you could actually try and compete with Yahoo and Google for those new grads.

And since I recently found an old 5 1/4" floppy drive of mine I now want to put it in my new computer, too bad the computer doesn't have a floppy drive connector on the board since the drive probably would still work.